Let Me Rest In Pieces

Of late my sleep has been disturbed. Disturbed by lucid dreams. Some hot and steamy, other mind boggling. I swear its all the late night dinners. Last nights dream left me plain confused.

It started with me driving a group of friends, many of which I met at different parts of my life and have never even seen each other. We were heading to the small town of Tanuki (tanuki is a racoon dog native of japan but i dont think there really is a town called that). When we finally reached the town, the town was over shadowed by this giant dome shaped stadium that looked more like a nuclear reactor than anything.

We all proceeded to buy tickets for what seemed like a rock concert. But when we got there the stadium was actually a giant indoor theme park. As we were lining up there was a women (who looked like my graphic designer) with a blowhorn warning us that the end of the hour was near and we must be ready.

Be ready for what? I had no idea. I looked around and everyone else seemed to be huddled in groups. A bell rang and suddenly the doors to the amusement park opened and there was a huge rush of people. Something like lemmings rushing to their doom. And they seperated me from my friends. I could see all of them being hurled into different directions and no matter how I chased them, I just got dragged further away. But at the same time I held on to my wallet as I could feel it the crowd trying to pick my pocket.

Just as quickly as the crowd came, it subsided and I found myself in a giant parking lot rave like location with runways like banquet tables arranged in an rigid horseshoe like shape. Suddenly cameras started flashing and there were runway models in what seemed to be batik algae dresses. Closer inspection showed that they were drag queens, although noone I knew.

As I turned my head, a camera was focusing on me and I was blinded by the bright lights. The comentator said "And here we have an example of our typical patron ~ a lost dumb fuck!"

Then the nutritionist working in my office came up to me wearing an ala Britney Spears flight stewardess uniformed and offered to buy me lunch. She told me wallet was no longer with me. And true enough when I checked, there was only a bunch of note pads in my back pocket.I told her I was hungry but more importantly I was lost. I needed to find my friends before it was too late. Too late for what? I wasnt sure. She graciously lead me to an aquarium complex where I observed the dugongs eating kelp & planning to attack the martians....

Then I woke up. Couldnt really go back to sleep after a dream like that could I?

I do believe some dreams have meanings behind them, but I wouldn't know where to start with this one. Which key words would I enter into the dream dictionary? dugong? drag queen? dumb fuck? tanuki?

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you,

Sweet dreams that leave our worries behind you

But in your dreams,

whatever they be,

Dream a little dream of me

Beautiful South ~ Dream A Little Dream Of Me

Hard Times

As the title suggests, this is a rant about the first fight I had with Ruggy yesterday. At 8pm scrambled to leave work as were suppose to meet at 8. I call him and he said, "leaving soon, whatya wanna eat? I was thinking of buying burger king..."

At nine o'clock as I was watching the sensored desprate housewives on Astro I called "So, where are ya babe?"

"I'm still at the office... But I will be leaving now.."

"Oh I heard that before.."

"Oh please.... You don't know what I have to go thru!"

"Okay... whatever... mumble mumble. See you later.."

"Well do you want me to come or not?"

"What kind of question is that? Do you want to have our first fight? I'm ready!"

"Aiyoor... Can we just have a nice dinner and eat peacefully later?"

"Sigh, yes. mumble mumble mumble.. BYE!"

My phone rings its ruggy

"Yeah, what is it now?"

"Don't be so moody lar! I buy you food ok?"

"I'm cranky cos I'm bloody hungry! ~Giggle~ Leave your damn office NOW!"

"Okok"

At 10.00pm or so he finally reaches. We acuse each other a bit more, point fingers, giggle and enjoy dinner. I was simply too tired to argue anymore. But my real problem was...

It never lead to make up sex!! Dammit... All that fighting and no make up sex? What age are we living in? Sigh... Secretly I'm stil pissed off that he didnt even call!

A little less conversation,

a little more action please

All this aggravation ain't satisfactioning me

A little more bite and a little less bark

A little less fight and a little more spark

Close your mouth and open up your heart and baby satisfy me

Satisfy me baby

JXL vs Elvis ~ A Lil Less Conversation

Disgusted? I did say I was always horny. Later that night I had the most lucid lewd dream... But thats another post

Somebody Told Me...

...that I write endlessly! Well I cant help it cos writing long windedly is part of my sucky job. It really sucks so bad sometimes, yesterday I was so misserable after the boss decided that all my effort should go down the drain and I needed to re-do lots of crap, that I decided needed more than just dinner with Ruggy. I needed Retail Therapy!

So despite my budget I bought The Killers~ Hot Fuss!

Immediately shouting along to Mr Brightside made me feel a bit more relieved. And later that night as I lay on the bed holding on to Ruggy, I felt so much better. The daily problems of work were temporarily forgotten.

But this morning as I thought of all the dumbass-work that I would have to correct/perfect/produce I got misserable and decided I HAD TO LISTEN TO MY NEW CD!

As I was smiling all the way through, I had to sms Ruggy ~ The Killers CD like you is amazingly effective at improving my moods... In other words, You have competition for my affection. Lol Muax.

But I don't expect any reply, for various reasons...

When there's nowhere else to run

Is there room for one more son

One more son

If you can hold on

If you can hold on,

hold on I wanna stand up,

I wanna let go

You know, you know - no you don't, you don't

I wanna shine on in the hearts of men

I want a meaning from the back of my broken hand

Another head aches, another heart breaks

I am so much older than I can take

And my affection, well it comes and goes

I need direction to perfection, no no no no

Help me out

Yeah, you know you got to help me out

Yeah, oh don't you put me on the blackburner

You know you got to help me out

And when there's nowhere else to run

Is there room for one more son

These changes ain't changing me

The cold-hearted boy I used to be

Yeah, you know you got to help me out

Yeah, oh don't you put me on the blackburner

You know you got to help me out

You're gonna bring yourself down

Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down

Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down I got soul,

but I'm not a soldier

I got soul,

but I'm not a soldier...

Yeah, you know you got to help me out

Yeah, oh don't you put me on the blackburner

You know you got to help me out

You're gonna bring yourself down

You're gonna bring yourself down

Yeah, oh don't you put me on the blackburner

Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down

Over and out, last call for sin

While everyone's lost, the battle is won

With all these things that I've done

All these things that I've done

If you can hold on

If you can hold on

The Killers ~ All The Things I've Done

Hedonism Habis

Yet another farewell in Jane's life. But not to worry cos there are still plenty of people leaving & coming in my life. Different from Duff's farewell, this one was a full blown house party equipped with a raibow theme!

The no good jerk who is going to leave Jane for greener grass is Mikey (yet another blogger). There were times we were pretty close & we have had lots of fun togather.

The most memorable Mikey moment left my left nipple sore! It started out at a foam party in LQ, an annual event whereby the dancefloor is overflowing with soapy foam and the boys turn up in skimpy outfits, eager & willing to get soaped up. Music blasting, foam forming, drinks pouring & well hormones raging... The foam also covers up things we shouldnt be doing in public...

So there we were dirty dancing in the foam... Rubbing our bodies against each other simulating sex. Not Stimulating, Simulating! And I must say perky nipples plus soap plus lots of friction caused by Mikey (and lots of other people) left my sensitive nipples sore & peeling. Now that I try to recollect, was it really Mikey or just random tall dark handsome strangers that I fooled myself into believing were Mikey? Same difference!

Things I really learnt at Mikey's party; ~ Mikey has lots of friends that care about him. Never let your host (Mikey) fix your first drink, unless you expect to be mouth to mouth fed brownies (or was that before the alcohol?) There are bitter old ladies are everywhere eager to cause everyone missery...

As I was smoking outside the house I somewhat remember grumpy frumpy old ladies demanding that we remove cars blocking their gates. Fair enough. I hate that too. But the lengthy lecture given, uncalled for. Its most probably they are jealous of our lifestyle, thinking we party day, night & during twilight hours. But the truth really is we only do it when we are not having sex! sex! sex!

Oh yeah, we do all the shit work too.

Be it normal jobs or selling our souls to devil, hedonism comes at a price. But as we grow older, as a friend who already left me said... "Hedonism Habis" (Hedonism is over). Its time for us to concentrate on more important things than just fun. Isnt that why Mikey is moving? Love, education, self improvement?

All the best Mikey! Your sheer wisdom hidden under that sexy flamboyant exterior is totally inspirational! And those rainbow ribbons~ Wicked!

Rafidah was supprised to find out M'sias best export was gay men..

sob..

sob..

I learned to let go of the illusion that we can possess

I learned to let go, I travel in stillness

And I’ll remember happiness

I’ll remember [I’ll remember]

Mmmmmmm... [I’ll remember]

Madonna ~ I'll Remember

Ja~Ne Means Goodbye In Japanese.

Besides goodbye, Ja~Ne also means see ya soon... "Sayonara" on the other hand is rather final & formal. You see, saying goodbye in any culture is always hard. (is this why Aloha is goodbye/hello?)

Last night I sort of had my farewell dinner with Duff (follow the link on the side to go to his blog). We met up at Chilis, Bangsar and pigged out.

We could have been eating some roadside burger for all I cared, what really mattered was that I had him to myself. All his attention, all his focus. It has been awhile.

As usual, the conversations started slow but with help of the Presidente Margarita, the BBQ Beef Ribs, Tequilla-Lime Fish Steak & loads of Coke Lite (how's is that for diet irony), confidential information about our lives were revealed. Somethings I said I would never reveal openly, and vice versa.

No, wait I change my mind, I blame the molten chocolate cake! Chocolate, as we all know, is the work of the devil!

The culprit looked like this,

only even more diabolical as he had extra chocolate sauce on top!

As Duff punctured the cake, hot fudge from inside oozed out on his side and he actually scooped it up & poured it on my side of the cake! "No one else would do that for me! No one! Duff I will miss you!"

The gist of it is, I am going to miss Duff. Not because of he is hot (oh baby he is so hot, he could melt the sun). Not because he has a smile to kill. Not because he is fun. Not because he buys me expensive meals. But just because he is considerate of me, and has been a great listener when I needed him the most.

I used to wonder why he kept quiet as I poured out my soul to him but I think I understand better nowadays that sometimes the best thing to say is nothing at all.

For the fun moments we shared...

Baby if you give it to me...

I'll give it to you...

I know what you want...

(repeat a gazillion times)

Mariah Carey ~ I Know What You Want

For the times you saved me...

And I'd give up forever to touch you

'Cause I know that you feel me somehow

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't want to go home right now

Goo Goo Dolls ~ Iris

For how I felt last night...

Here's to the nights we felt alive

Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry

Here's to good bye

Tomorrow's gonna come too soon

Eve 6 ~ Here's To The Night

For our future *roll eyes & winks*...

Round, round

Spinning out on me

I don't need no man

Got my kicks for free

We'll ride

Still fired on the beat down low

I don't need nobody but my honeys

When I go

Round, baby

Round round....

Sugarbabes ~ Round Round

Helpful Carrots

Sigh I'm working late again.. on a Friday none the less, but I promised myself to STOP RANTING and telling tall tales. But sometimes I can't help it. Its my job to write and write (I'm currently working on 2 very long booklets). Oh well, time to reach for the bar of chocolate in the bottom drawer, no wait, its finished. I still have carrots tho.. Umm..they are good.. umm for eating yeah!

I don’t want to be your glass of single malt whiskey

Hidden in the bottom drawer

Alanis Morissette ~ Not The Doctor

Look at me!

My last few posts have all touched on people that have truly influence my life and contributed to the jaded has been princess I am. So let me run thru some facts about Jane.

• I'm not a crossdresser! Jane isnt my real name (duh) its the name of my car. Im a 25 year old guy

• I do not look like your average Malaysian but who does? I can look chinese, malay, thai, arabic & one japanese lady thought I was japanese in Japan. Its all your perception.

• I indulge in cigs, alcohol (eventho I have allergic reactions) and other stuff even.

• I'm experimental & like trying out new things.

• I have a passion for sushi but only the cooked ones.

• I wear glasses~ 175/175

• I believe in God but I don't believe in mindless worship.

• I always considered myself an "unique beauty" and I'm very attracted by unique beauty as well. But intelligence & communication do matter.

• I feel strongly about the environment and thus avoid unnecessary packaging/waste whenever I can.

• I love my friends ferociously and protect them.

• I believe there is always an alternative to any situation. In truth we are free to choose, even when it seems like we are obligated.

• I like comfortable clothes (torn & worn out stuff). But enjoy dressing up when the moment is right.

• I'm a semi closet case~ I only out myself to people who I think can handle it. No good would come out of announcing my sexual preference to the world.

• I'm currently dating a half punjabi half cindi indian boy one year younger than me.

• My hair looks best when it is slightly messy & allowed to flop freely.

• I can be an amazing bitch to people who annoy me but extremely attentive to those who do me right.

• My eyes & eyebrows are my sexiest attributes.

• My favourite genre of music is alternative rock but I listen to alot of other stuff too. Music is important in my life.

• I can be amazingly horny. (like now)

Sometimes I shave my legs and sometimes I don't

Sometimes I comb my hair and sometimes I won't

Depend on how the wed blows I might even paint my toes

It really just depends on whatever feels good in my soul

I'm not the average girl from your video

and I ain't built like a supermodel

But, I Learned to love myself unconditionally

Because I am a queen

I'm not the average girl from your video

My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes

No matter what I'm wearing I will always be Janie...

India Arie ~ Video

Unusual Dinner Suspects...

Gwen rocks! And she does experimental pretty well too!

I never expected it to come to this. What was happening here? Just a few hours earlier, I met Raphael and he was the nicest, most imbalanced straight boy I had ever met. Now here he was, sitting in front of me. And he was rubbing his leg against mine.

Here is Bo Bice, heard his new song yet?

Throught the day we spent our time with our common friend Casandra. Raphael laughed, joked and all. He smiled, he went off on his own, smoked with a silent confidence. But what impressed me, was he wasn't ashamed of his Klang (Small port town often ridiculed as backwater of KL) background and was even proud of it with a gutsy-highway-cue-cutting turn and a snide "its my grandfather's road".

Here is Craig David ! Love those lips!

There was nothing at all strange about dinner, unless you knew the guests. Casandra asked if we wanted to have dinner with Bianca and even though I hesitated for a split second, I knew i could handle what ever they wanted to dish out. The events that happened, happened a long time ago. It began when I got drunk with the girls...

Licky! Licky! (Would so like to licky ricky)

We were ordering shooters by the dozen and chugging them down in the same manner. Sex on the beach. Multiple orgasms. Blowjobs. Each more sensual than the next. It got complicated when I seized the opportunity and dared Casandra to kiss her then best friend, Bianca.

Without much hesitation, they agreed. For that one blessed moment I knew what 2 hot girls locking lips on my command looked like. But they had no enjoyment out of it. What they wanted though, was some fun of their own. I had to return the favour. Bianca wanted me to tongue tango with Casandra...

This one is such a 'cool hottie'

It figured. They knew I was gay and wanted to see if I would do it. And I shouldnt have even considered it, being attached to someone special, but I couldnt back down from the challenge. But worse still, I couldnt let the moment slip me by.

I hesitated, I gulped my slippery nipple and I moved in for the kill.

Amazingly when we locked lips, it was tender and soft. Everything that kissing a girl, no a woman, should be. It was gentle, it was sweet, nothing like the stuble and force I was used to. It was different. Nice but different. Everything after that was pretty much a blur. Alcohol. Lust. Smoke. Whatever. I don't even remember how I found my car, yet alone how I got home safely that night.

The memory of that night flashed before my eyes as sat down for dinner. Everyone seemed unsettled. Was it the skeletons in our closets? Here we are sitting down for a nice dinner like normal people, when we were not? My main concern wasn't Casandra or Raphael, they were harmless. It was Bianca.

Rob is so cute, in a sick kinda way...

Long after that first encounter with Bianca, I had a lover called Drake. Drake was young, impetuous and insatiable. We got along amazingly. It wasn't untill one fine day when I was with Drake and we bumped into Bianca that I discovered the truth.

"What? You used to date Bianca?" From that day, any encounter with Bianca was cold to say the least. It was clear she hadn't ended on good terms with Drake. And now it looked like I would bear the brunt of it all.

Bearing the brunt after all was one of my specialities. Why else would I agree to dinner with this elite group of people? No. There was more. There was Raphael.

He is sorta geeky cute no?

And now, back to present time, this guy, whom I tought was straight, was gently rubbing my foot. But I had to exclaim "Hey?"

"Oh so sorry, just there was a cockroach about to climb up your leg, and I didnt want you to scream!" explained Raphael calmly.

"Damn those lil shits! I feel so uneasy! can we eat fast and leave?" added Bianca.
Casandra in turn "Yeah, I didn't want to say anything but damn this place is crawling with them. Didnt you notice, Jane?"

Usher has this weird but sexy aura...

Of course I didnt notice a thing. I was so lost in my own fantasies that I hadn't seen the roaches. I was too busy building plots in my head, embelishing truths, calculating opportunities, pondering possibilities... to realise the many icky 6-legged bugs that had left the comfort of the drain in search of tasty morsels.

"Dammit I'm doing it again." I mumbled as I stepped on another roach about to climb up my leg. Sigh...

If Jane ever gives you a wide eyed look, its only because he is indulging in his fantasies.

Dreams last for so long, even after you are gone....
(The facts of this story are true, just seriously embelished)

Oh My Goat! Its My Time To Shine!

I had the defining moment in my life. It was 5.04pm yesterday. The product exec turn to me and said "Quick Jane, come up with a tag line for our Goat Milk Tablets, NOW!"

I had to savour the moment. All these years, I have been waiting for my skills at a goat abuser to come in handy. All these years I never imagined I would be able to use my knowledge of bad goat jokes for greater good (of selling health supplements).

The moment was over and I had to act fast... I blurted ~

"Its goat for kids!"

A little bit of explanation is needed here for those who havent seen me with my best friend~ The Goat. The Goat is also one of my sweetiest exs. But unfortunately for him, we still hang out alot. He became the goat just before we started dating, due to a joke about him and goats. Back then I bought him a little stuffed goat to quench his sexual desires... And the name has stuck ever since.


Think of any possible bad goat joke, I have made it. He even takes the cue to make the jokes before I do, thus robbing me of the pleasure. Some of our friends have followed in his hoof steps and also started making goat jokes....


How many goats does it take to change a light bulb?
None, goats prefer the dark!

Why did the goat cross the road?
It wasnt voluntary, the chicken pushed it...

What do goats like to eat the most?
It doesnt matter, goats eat anything.

Where is the homeland of the goats?
Goatswanna... Angoatla.. Baarbados.. Antigoatua..

And just because you read thru all those horrible goat jokes (i can only assume) here is the guy who won the best looking guy in the world title... or so I was told~

Each day I live

I want to be a day to give the best of me

I'm only one, but not alone

My finest day is yet unknown

I broke my heart for every gain

To taste the sweet,

I faced the pain

I rise and fall,

Yet through it all this much remains

I want one moment in time

When I'm more than I thought I could be

When all of my dreams

Are a heart beat away

And the answers are all up to me...

Whitney Houston ~ One Moment In Time

EAT ME! (i'm not poisoned)

that is the message I stuck on the triple chocolate bun I left for my sister. But we are always looking out for each other. We have been living togather for a fair number of years and it has been pretty cool. Sure we have had our major fights but our 'don't see ~ don't ask' policy has kept things amazingly under control. With all the men I brought home I eventually bumped into her from time to time.

"Hi this is er... Keanu. He is sort of helping me with my uni project" Whether she bought it or not, 10 mins later I was engaging in steamy hot sex with Keanu.

"This is Brad, wel... remember you met him the last time." Total lie~ Even I had just met Brad. 10 mins earlier... Bang~ Bang~ Bang~

"Tom here is going to umm.. try and fix my computer! Yeah that it!" Tom never even looked at the computer. Bang~ Bang~ Bang~

Needless to say she has also met my Boy Friends and short term flings. Either she made good friends with them or hated them with a passion. Some she found too weird even to begin a conversation.

Some she would converse about worldly things with, with me in the background mumbling "Oh hurry up! He is mine, He is here to see me! And I am horny!"

There was even a one who was so so cute, even she couldnt help but like, despite that he was a total bimbo. Not himbo, bimbo. Once she even wanted to make a banner to hang over our door way reading "Welcome Ricky Martin, Contestant No 26"

But as proof of our bond, one day a unhappy neighbour that stayed below our appartment came a-banging on the door,"excuse me miss, I'm here to complain about all the noise coming from this house. You all like to walk about very loud, take baths late at night and make the funniest noises."

I could clearly hear it from my room and truly knew it was me & my late night sexcapades he was bitching about. But I was too shocked to make a move.

Without a second thought my sister yelled, 'What is wrong with you! This is my house and we can do whatever we want, whenever we want! What kind of sick pervert are you listening to us shower? If you think we walk about loudly now, just wait till you get home! If you come and complain again, I'll call the police and tell them you are harassing me. Now go before my brother comes out and beats the shit out of you!'

Now we never really have any problems with the neighbours, except the ones living opposite that never give enough muruku (indian snack) during Depavali (Festival of Lights)...

I'll hide u away from danger

Cover you night and day

Protect you fear no stranger

Hide u away from danger

Cover you night and day

Protect you fear no stranger

I'll hide you

I'll hide you

Kosheen ~ Hide You

Super Mega Chicken Rearing Diva

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover,

I'm a child, I'm a mother,

I'm a sinner, I'm a saint,

I do not feel ashamed,
I'm your hell, I'm your dream,

I'm nothing in between,

You know you wouldn't want it any other way..

Meredith Brook~ Bitch

Maddy has over the years, inspired us with her imaginative changes. First she was sexy as hell...

Sometimes silly...

Sometimes plain slutty...

Then she was reborn younger than ever...

Then she inspired our fantasies. Say a cowboy?

Or a crazy spy?

Or even a soldier.

The lesbian lover of Britney Spears!

How about a limber Socialite...

But Never...

A chicken-feeding-English-housewife....

She has taken this English Rose thing a step too far.. Enid Blyton would most prolly make the Famous Five stay at home and shell snow peas than make them investigate this insane housewife!

Either way, when I visited http://home.madonna.com/, I was impressed.
But as I left, I had to exclaim "What the fuck! Madonna is spamming me with Popups!"

But I was happy... :o) not everyday you get spammed by a super-mega-chicken-rearing-diva...

Fun in the Morning

Look at me,

my depth perception must be off again

You got much closer than I thought you did

I’m in your reach

You held me in your hands

But could you find it in your heart?

To make this go away

And let me rest in pieces

Would you find it in your heart?

To make it go away

And let me rest in pieces..

Saliva ~ Rest In Pieces

Something was wrong this morning. But despite the foreboding feeling that something was off I got ready for my morning the way I normally do.

I turned off my alarm, took a dump, brushed my teeth, checked to see if I needed to shave and showered. As I began to comb my hair, I heard the strangest sound from the water heater.

It sounded like there was a bird trapped inside. The poor bird couldnt get out and was frantically panicking! It got louder and louder. It was almost as it was shouting in my ear. It was telling me that the water filter needed changing and my deadlines were approaching!

Just when I thought things couldnt get weirder, I woke up. I had to curse. I hate dreams that resemble reality so closely! So routine! So dull & the worst part is, I would have to repeat it!

I always enjoy dreams where stranded on a desert island with a bunch of dumb blond hunks who frantically tried to repopulate the island. And eventhough I wasnt getting pregnant, it never stopped them from trying. Besides what else is there to do in the the middle of no where?

Then there were the X files style dreams where I was partnered with the cutest man in a black suit and we had to investigate the weirdest things. Aliens, monsters or simply invaders attempting to destroy the earth. Eventhough the earth was comming to an end, we always had time to cum at the end.

Hesitantly I had to quickly get ready for work and drag myself into the car. I felt that it was time for a quick fantasy. I was car jacked by the cutest criminal who was just about to declare his desire to fornicate when the asshole at the back honked. I was shocked back to reality.

I reached the office with minutes to spare before 9.00am when the punch machine would give me red marks. I confidently slip the slip into the damn thing but when I pulled it out it gave me a blue 10.08am.

Confused I let out a "Awww Fuck I must be still dreaming! Kanina Chau Chee Bai" (Oh mother fucker's smelly pussy)

Fortunately I wasnt. Even more fortunate, noone was around to hear me curse like the kampung (small village) boy I was. The machine was spoilt.

Unsatisfied with my unfulfilled fantasies. I sat down with my tea and biscuits to tell this sordid sad tale...

The End

Close to my heart

You took your coat off, and stood in the rain.

You were always crazy like that.

And I watched from my window,

Always felt I was outside looking in on you.

You were always the mysterious one with

dark eyes and careless hair.

You were fashionably sensitive, but too cool to care.

You stood in my doorway, with nothing to say,

Besides some comment on the weather.

Well in case you failed to notice,

In case you failed to see,

This is my heart,

bleeding before you,

This is me down on my knees.

And these foolish games are tearing me apart,

And your thoughtless words are breaking my heart...

You're breaking my heart.

Jewel~ Foolish Games

If you think this post is about Ruggy, you are wrong. Love isnt the only thing close to my heart.

Recently my closest friends got into this major arguement. The real issue, not to be disclosed, really wasnt something out of the ordinary. Truly, sometimes its not what you say, but how you say it. The consequences are that friends of both waring factions were caught in the cross fire. Their thoughtless words were breaking my heart! And I couldnt help but ponder....

Do we really know the ones we hurt? And when we are busy hating someone, do we tend to hurt innocent bystanders, unwitingly?

The true test of a friendship is if it can withstand *white lies* and unconcious actions. Most people are more willing to stop whater they are doing, throw a hissy fit and get into a full on Mimi-Carey-Heartbreaker-Video-Cat-Fight. Sure its entertaining but it doesnt solve much unless someone is declared the alpha female bitch (who da bitch now?).

Over the weekend I told a lil white lie to one of my old friends who doesnt know I like boys. Instead of meeting him I told him that I passed out; when in actual fact I was with Ruggy watching desprate housewifes.... till I passed out.

Next day, I graciously called him and met him. We basically conversed over all issues & eventhough he constantly reminded me of how I fell asleep on him, all was forgiven cos he understood. He even presented me the opportunity to out myself cos he knows I have always been "the king/queen of pain/cheese". But I didnt just so we could continue living the lie we do.

Before you go "what the fuck?"- king/queen of pain/cheese is an expression I use to express how annoyingly weird but lovable I am. (king/queen of pain - sting/alanis song. king & queen of cheese- cow & chicken cartoon character)

With all friendships being put through "the test", I hope no matter the distance & time, friendship will prevail over the greyest lies and what we say will be more important than how we say it.

We may never get the chance to be beautiful together.... Again.

~AJ wipes a tear from his eye~

One minute you have one hoof out,

happily getting a much needed tan

with a best friend,

next thing you know

you're a skull on a fugly chopping board

& your never see friend again...

Boyfriends & KFC

In light that I seem to be close to finishing my work and in light of the preachyness of my previous posts, I present to you:~

Boyfriends and KFC!

I have officially been coupled with several men and the all had their preferences for chicken pieces in KFC.

Icchi had a thing for thighs. Thighs are always sinfully delicious but had extra fat. I lurved Icchi but when ever we went to KFC ordering was something of a full blown mellow drama...
"Hello can I have 2 thighs and a wing... No no.. I want 2 thighs and a breast... Oh wait the breast is the hard piece I want the ribs..."
Needless to say I always got dirty stares and had to help Icchi make up his mind.

Ni was some what of a part time model but if you ever saw the way he ate, you wouldnt believe it. He could really gorge on food and make me feel oblieged to partake in his sordid orgy of food. Needless to say I with my slower than usual metabolism and eager to please attitude got really fat. But it always puzzled me, as cheapo as he was, he always enjoyed wings, claiming them to be easier to eat. Now its time for Nini at KFC...
"Excuse me kak (big sister) can I please exchange this piece for a wing..." Ni campily sticks his finger onto the chicken leg...
Needless to say the lady said, "Look I'd lurve to change it but you have already touched it. And no one wants to eat food touched by other people. Sorry, Next please".

San was more of the health concious tree hugging type. Often gyming and swimming & recyling. But boy did the boy have a mouth... San could talk and talk and ~supprise supprise~ Talk! I really enjoyed our conversations but suspected not everyone else enjoyed 2 hour long discriptions of eating a starfruit. San was a breast guy. Even if he had to starve, he would almost most certainly only eat breasts. Why? to this day its all pretty unclear. One of San's biggest relationship tests was when he had to spend a fair number of hours with me in a KFC whiles waiting for a flight. Funnily enough I enjoyed it. It was at Dunkin' Donuts that San made his wordiness felt...

"Hi I like to order the Tuna Croissant but I'd like to know if the tuna is dolphin friendly. If it isnt dolphin friendly than I would like to try the roast chicken but only if its made with breast meat. Is it? If not that I'll have the cheeese..."
Confused sales girl stares blankly.
Jane says " You know dolphin friendly, there is a mark on the can that says its caught with special nets... Maybe you can just tell us the brand.."
Confused sales girl "Oh you know what, I'll go swim with the dolphins and ask them." And we all burst out laughing.

Shi was a major eater. He could eat but would feel guilty about it later, which of course would lead to excercise. Of course Shi's favourite form of excercise involve lots of mat aerobics. Yes- almost everytime after dinner we would fuck like rabbits. Sometime over and over. Shi wasn't too picky about the KFC pieces but it was important that they were satisfying, just like sex. The funny thing about him was not what he said but how he moved. He would literally sasshay up to the counter and say "Hi, take away.....", collect the order and sasshay out like he was the Queen of England paying one of her loyal subjects a visit.

Go had really strong bollywood looks (looks like a indian film star) and because of this, heads would turn no matter where he goes. Not a bad thing really when you want to make outrageous demands. I have used my the attention I get to my advantage but Go really could work it effortlessly as he asks for 3 thighs. There is always some snickering and oohing when the typical KFC girl sees Go, and I don't blame them. At KFC, Go would stroll up to the counter like a normal str8 boy and then bat those long eye lashes effortlessly as he got them to obey his every wish. Testing it once I had to get him to order my scientifically complex and anal retentive order of "2 ribs (not breasts) and 1 thigh, spicy, dinner plate and mash potato change into coleslaw (totally 2 coleslaws), with extra tomato sauce, not chilli"

He made it seem so effortless...Either that or I'm just basking in this warm fuzzy feeling... Sigh~

Many Malaysian words of disgust

You say, I should do it differently.
I don't, necessarily agree.
Stand up!
Sit down!
Be nice!
Did ya hear me ask for your advice?
Don't bother,
Trying to tell me your beliefs.
Your point of view is pretty screwed to me.
Do this!
Do that!
On track!
Do me a favor and don't talk back!

Shut Up ~ Kelly Ozbourne

Today's post is clearly about unsolicited advice. To add insult to injury, I recieved this advice during my lunch, as I was eating my char siew fan (roasted pork rice).
Suzie: Jane, why everytime you like to eat all this pork? Eeee you see all burnt. Isn't it bad for you health? How can you eat such food everyday? Your health must be really horrible? Pork is bad for your health you know, especially when its burnt. Doesn't everyone agree?
Jane: (Fuming) Yes, yes.... It may not be the most healthiest food but its my lunch not yours.
Suzie: Aiiiyeeeeer (Common Malaysian-chinese sign of disgust) look look how black it is.. And the rice is so dry.
Jane: Yeah, look, its lunch time and I really would like to enjoy my lunch. Besides if I ever wanted an oppinion, I wouldnt ask you.
Suzie shows a sour face and waits for her food.

-Her wan tan mee (pork dumpling noodles) arrives. But you see, the problem is, Jane can be a vindictive lil bitch when people can't leave her in peace to eat lunch.

Jane: Yucks! Look at your vegetables how can you eat them? Aieeer They are most probably loaded with pesticides and not washed properly! Don't you know they will poison you liver? Bla~ Bla~ Bla~ Ugh And look how oily your soup is? I know you are too young for a heart attack but no one will want to go out with you when you are all fat! Bla~ Bla~ Bla~ Issssh Not to mention the noodles! Do you know the kind of preservatives and flavourings they put in there? You might as well go swallow a pack of MSG and the scarry thing is it might actually improve you skin! And you have pork dumplings! We all know pork is the worst meat in the world.... Bla~ Bla~ Bla~

Suzie: Then what am I suppose to eat?

Jane: Exactly. If you leave me in peace to enjoy my food, I will leave you in peace. If not, expect more horrible nutrition facts. Trust me I know the a lot off horrible things I work in the same office (in my heart and I know too people like you). Its just I choose to ignore them during lunch. So if I can ENJOY what is left of LUNCH now? thank you for your cooperation. By the way, I doubt if the lady ever properly cleans the plates, just look at all the bacteria in the cracks...

Everyday, I get health advice to the point it sickens me. Rare is the day whereby I'm not reminded of the horrible facts of smoking either. Its not that I care, or that I lack funny comebacks, but it is tiring. Don't ever work at a health farm if you want to enjoy lunch in peace... Unless you can be even more irritating when provoked...
;oP

I'm Sorry but I Lost My Religion...

When you call my name it’s like a little prayer

I’m down on my knees, I wanna take you there

In the midnight hour I can feel your power

Just like a prayer you know I’ll take you there

I hear your voice, it’s like an angel sighing

I have no choice, I hear your voice

Feels like flying

I close my eyes, oh God I think I’m falling

Out of the sky, I close my eyes

Heaven help me..

Madonna~ Like a little prayer

(this song is really about giving blowjobs, not relavant at all )

I'm not a religious soul. I rarely pray & ussually stay clear of worship. My father is a taoist, mother is a catholic, several other religions have married into my extended family. But I remain steadfast in my choice. Before you go screaming "Die you Godless son-of-a bitch" and click away, hear me out. I have taken the time to learn about some religions. I have read the bible and I have read the quaran but I choose to life my life based on my own set of rules:

Its ok to do what ever I want as long as nobody gets hurt in the process. Somewhat idealistic as you never know how your actions may affect other. I.e. say you were to have wild animal sex in the back alley of a club & unintentionally the cum filled condom fell and could not be located in the dark. (is this why they invented glow in the dark rubbers?) You go back in to get another man and when you bring him out, he slips on the cummy condom and knocks his head. He has to go to the clinic and you of course no longer get your second orgasm. Which brings us to my next rule.

There is karma in this life. This ancient concept can be simply explained with a "what goes around comes around". If you plan to cause chaos in the cosmos, be prepared to deal with the shit swinging around and hitting you in the face. Same goes for good things. If you are willing to share something good with others, eventually it will come back to you. As a diabolical schemer, this is one of the hardest rules for me to follow. So what I do in general, is just balance all the evil I do with some good deeds... Eg. The other day when I did a good deed and sent my workmate to her car parked far away. But on the way there the road was blocked by this guy parked in the middle of the road. I waited patiently only to have this ditzy chick walk out and proceed to have a 2 minute conversation. Well, it could have lasted longer if I didn't shout "hello miss, this is not the playground, if you need to conduct your business do it somewhere else so I won't have the urge put you in a coma". So by telling her the importance of road safety I have earned two points of good to use up irritating someone else...

Tolerance. To some extent you need to tolerate all the idiots in the world. Every day is be kind to dumb animals day and you have to consider that they may not have the mental capacity to think for themselves. Example:

"Did you get a haircut?"

"No, you make me so sick that my hair has been falling out..."

There is a God, an omnipresent God. He is really busy trying to keep up with all the horrbile things happening in the world:- People being bombed, inocents dieing etc. So It figures to only pray and ask him to help on the really big things that you have no control over. Even if God isn't perfect, I wouldnt figure him as an egomaniac needing to be praised by the masses continually. I would rather concentrate on lessening his problems rather than telling him what he already knows, he is great.

My christian aunt at the nursery " Oh God, please bless me and help this man give me a discount on the the plant I am about to purchase." Go pray for a clue! God is too busy trying to feed the orphans in Africa to work on giving you a discount on a RM6 plant (USD1).

All religions are good. Its the people that are bad. Believe it or not, suicide bombers, child molesting priests, womanizing monks and human sacrificing gurus are really "bad people". They have managed to take something as pure and good as religion and twist it for their own gain. Fanatical Opportunists are everywhere! I would rather read a holy book rather than listen to a bunch of close friends say

"Why don't you join us in the christian faith?"
"Why should I?"

"Because err.. the fires of hell are really hot and they will hurt!"

"Yeah have you been burnt alive before?"

"Well if heaven is full of people like you, I rather take my chances with the devil"

In this free world (not really), where people are supposedly free to choose, free to decide, its disgusting to see religion seperate couples. Even worse when opportunists use religion as a way to create strife & pain. And with that I appologize for the long ranty rant about my friend and her cross religion relationship. That datin will get her just deserts one day. Just as will all the other mean people out there. What goes up must come down.

Aww wat a cute poopie!

Another head hangs lowly,
The world is a vampire, sent to drain
Child is slowly taken.
Secret destroyers, hold you up to the flames
And the violence caused such silence,
And what do I get, for my pain
Who are we mistaken?
Betrayed desires, and a piece of the game
But you see, it's not me, it's not my family.
Even though I know-I suppose I'll show
In your head, in your head they are fighting,
All my cool and cold-like old job
With their tanks and their bombs,
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
And their bombs and their guns.
Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved
In your head, in your head, they are crying...
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
In your head, in your head,
Now I'm naked, nothing but an animal
Zombie, zombie, zombie,
But can you fake it, for just one more show
Hey, hey, hey. What's in your head,
And what do you want, I want to change
In your head,
And what have you got
Zombie, zombie, zombie?
When you feel the same

Zombie ~ Cranberries
Bullet with Butterfly Wings ~ Smashing Pumpkins

Yesterday, just like any other day in the office i got pooped on in the office. not literally of course. it all began with a phone call from the secretary at 3.00 pm.

April: Jane there is a meeting at 3.10 pm this afternoon involving the big boss and the marketing dept.
Jane: That sounds nice.
April: Don't be late.
Jane: Am I involved?
April: Of course why else would I call you?
Jane: You didnt mentioned itWell how am I supposed to know? To keep me in touch with the office happenings? I am part of the communications dept...

There was I busily researching graphics for 2 brochures, sending needed files to workmates, monitoring translation of a flyer, negotiating letter head printing, keeping an eye on the graphic designer, doing the writeup for a website, analyzing labels, researching my own freelance article & busily blogging. In other words i was busily doing nothing. And now I had this shit to deal with.

I hurriedly picked up my ass and went down. When I got there I knew instantly I was going to get a lot more shit work. Call it a foreboading sense of dispair. Every glance was met with as slight smile.
Every comment laughed at... Even if it wasnt funny.

So I patiently waited.

Soon enough, the bomb dropped. Two long news paper articles talking about the goodness of crap in 2.5 days. Not that much. If I wasnt involved in creating more crappy brochures. And at the same time adding to the work i still had to do. To quote my boss "Looks like Jane has to cut back on his pa tho (dating) time... Ha ha ha."

I didnt laugh then. I didnt laugh after the meeting. I didnt laugh at 8.00pm when I was the last to leave the office. But I did laugh this morning when I realized that life is just like that. sometimes you get pooped on because you work like a dog... I rather pace myself now.

Fortunately I am still smarter... Or so they like me to think.... lol....

"Despite of my rage i'm stil a rat in a pink pink cage"

Fear of Faded Salmon

Pink- its my new obsession
Pink its not even a question,
Pink, on the lips of your lover, cause
Pink is the love you discover...

...Pink it was love at first sight
Pink when I turn out the light
Pink its like red but not quite
And I think, everything is going to be all right
No matter what we do tonight

Pink ~ Aerowsmith

The other day whiles watching friends, I couldnt help but laugh at Ross and his "faded salmon" shirt. Call it what you want ~ Winter Berry, Macho Pansy, Iceland Poppy, Twilight Red etc.... Its still pink!

I have never liked pink clothes not just because the look fat. But simply because I'm no pastel boy. Once I bought a pastel blue-violet shirt with floral print and ever since its been known as the Aunty Shirt. That has been my one and only pastel purchase. I have never even tried a pink item of clothing. I just can't imagine myself owning anything in Pink. I once demanded a new note book from my bosses just because it was horribly pink! Pink cars, Pink tissues, Pink furniture, All freak me out.

But when it comes to men... its the pinkish bits that are usually my favourites. Yes... I just love a nice faded salmon pair of pouty lips. I can never pass up licking a nice winter berry nipple. Don't be supprise if you ever find me enjoying a big fat juicy Iceland Poppy Schlong.... Eventhough it may not sound macho, Pink is best enjoyed as pink.

Girl, take a minute girl...

Girl
Take a minute girl,
come sit down
And tell us what's been happening
In your face I can see the pain
Don't you try to convince us that you're happy (yeah)
We've seen this all before

Girl~ Destiny's Child

As I mentioned in previous posts, I have been trying to deal with the problems in life whiles still keeping an optimistic attitude. The truth is last night I cried. Now a full out slobbering sob but just a fears escaped the corner of my eye. I couldnt help it. I am dealing with some pretty serious shit myself. And some of the people I love the most are facing difficult times. Hardship in love, in life etc. One of the worst examples would be the sms fight I had with a close friend and refused to talk to for a month or so.

Things that were intended for good~ Religion, family values, work ethics, politics etc are backfiring and causing what I consider unneccesary pain.

Datin: Come here girl, I want to talk to you.

Girl: Yes, aunty.

Datin: I want you to stop seeing my son. Do you know what you are getting into? He is a muslim and If you want to marry him you will have to convert. Do you understand that? Can you go back and tell your parents that you have to convert? Do you realize your children will also have to be muslim? How will you ever fit in at our functions? What do you think people will think of my family?

Girl: But we aren't thinking of marrige yet.

Datin: Then you shouldnt be seening my son. At your age it is not going around changing boyfriends so frequently. Find a good compatible man and marry him. It is not the time to be wasting your life. Young girl don't be foolish. Think about your future.

If you know this girl, she is good girl. She doesnt break easily but a few words from a mean Datin and she was reduced to nothing but tears. I told her the Datin is a mean bitch and shouldnt be allowed to even talk to her like that

The no good boyfriend is no better as he is still in love with her. They agreed to break up as he respects her decision that she cannot "have children that have to brought up with a certian religion". She hates that he respects her decision. Still he is the only one she really wants to see. Doesn't make sense? Life rarely makes sense.

Long before I herd this story I just felt something was wrong with her. But she didnt tell me what was wrong. She kept it all in. And we broke down in tears.

I had to be honest and explain that the fight was also partly my fault because of the dramas unfolding at home~

Once upon a time in a far far away land, there was a kind hearted girl. She met a man who she thought was all good and they fell in love and stayed that way dispite the odds.

Unfortunately, one day the girl got really sick and when she got better she was never the same. But she still loved him. And he loved her. So dispite all the protests of their respective families, they got married and had several beautiful & charming children.

One day the man decided to start fooling around and before you knew it, he got a second wife. The second wife stayed with the girl and although she didnt treat her bad, it broke the girl's heart to see the man she loved with a new girl younger than her youngest child.

He was mean to her, he would say horrible things to her face. He didnt respect the girl as a human. He didnt treat her right anymore. He would give her things to the other woman. Her children were sad for her and countless times tried to get her to move in with them but she wouldn't budge. She still loved him even though he didnt love her. Her children could only watch as the girl slowly but surely wasted away.

Some of us collect happy stories. But of late, I've been exposed to these too much. But I don't worry about the people who are able to tell these stories to someone because they don't have to deal with it alone. Its my friends that won't open up, that I worry about.

Come tomorrow, I will sue Desperate House Wifes for stealing their story plots out of my life because it is only possible that *I* have to deal with these horrible truths of life. It couldnt be possible that people that we barely know have to live with deep dark secrets. So there.

A girl from China msged me this line yesterday~

yes, you are right, ladies are emotional animals, i wish i could be a man, so that i won't be that emotional and won't be easily affected by the emotional problem from others.

Dammit Jane! Be a man...

Well I've Never...

(Borrowed from Enough About You)


The following statements in pink are true, the rest are well *lil* white lies.

I've Never Kissed A Member Of The Opposite Sex
Many times and its most prolly the only thing I can still imagine myself doing with a gurl. In fact, just the other day a friend looked so fuckin kissable.
~It even amazes me when I make statements like that... When the circumstances are ideal I can't help but imagine plunging into the situation. I am always attracted to unique beauty, be it male or female.

I've Never Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
Urm... Many times and enjoyed it... Men have such stubly kisses. So different from gurls. I can almost taste their masculinity...

I've Never Crashed A Friend's Car
I cant ever recall driving a friends car. Most prolly they see the way I drive and want me to keep my hands off the wheel and in their pockets.

I've Never Been To Japan
I was there for a Year and I learnt to say "Uzei baka ika damare ahho tako"
which loosely translates into get lost you no good noisy squid-like-octopus. Animals with tenticles are not reveered in the land of the rising sun...

I've Never Been In Love
Yes I have... But sometimes it lasts and sometimes it doesn't. I don't always have a choice in these things. But I promised myself I learn to enjoy what I have as long as it lasts.

I've Never Had Sex In Public
Infact the first time I ever made out with someone it was in public (it was a girl). It was at the tennis court at the YMCA. When we left, we were covered in bites... Love bites & Mosquito bites.

I've Never Been Dumped
Painful as it was, i forget sometimes.

I've Never Been Fired
Well at the rate I have not been doing my work and rather spend it blogging, who knows...

I've Never Been In A Fist Fight
Came close many times but I can be convincingly scary.The Sneer-of-Death always works.

I've Never Had Group Intercourse
Ummm... It was fun in many many ways...

I've Never Been Tied Up
Fun Fun Fun

I've Never Regretted Having Sex With Someone
Well when after a supposed one time thinggy, they call constantly and whine about everything in their life and then post your picture online with the caption "people i've had fucked before", you HAVE to feel something.

I've Never Been Arrested
Stoped by the police for many wrong doings. Fireworks, obscene behaviour, speeding, no driving licence... but got away everytime.

I've Never Made Out With A Stranger
Aren't we all stragers until we try to get to know each other a lil better....

I've Never Stolen Something From My Job
But they were mostly harmlessly cheap. Can't wait for a job with real good stuff to "borrow" home.

I've Never Had A Crush On A Teacher
Havent we all? The gymnastics teacher was buff and has such doe eyes.

I've Never Celebrated Mardi Gras In New Orleans
I will one day....

I've Never Skipped School
I did it often but it was only so I could study without the teachers yapping in the background.

I've Never Slept With A Co-Worker
Never shit and eat in the same place.

I've Never Had Sex At The Office
Can't wait for the opportunity!

I've Never Had Sex With More Than One Person Within The Same Week.
This question really doesnt count for people who have had group sex.

I've Never Gotten Someone Drunk Just To Have Sex With Them
Most people willing get drunk by themselves... Sometimes you just need to hand them the bottle.

I've Never Received Scars From My Sex Partner
Well I have had some pretty clumsy lovers... Or so they want me to believe.

I've Never Thrown Up In A Bar
Funny story! I was at the old Emporium, we opened a 3L bottle and before i knew what was happening I grabbed the nearest jug and hurled. 30 mins later I was back on the dance floor.

I've Never Eaten Sushi
I love sushi but only the cooked ones. (yes.. yes.. i'm ecentric)

I've Never Had Sex At A Friend's House While They Were Throwing A Party
Once again I cant wait for the opportunity.

I've Never Flashed Anyone
Well if they want it, it cant be called flashing!

I've Never Met Anyone From Online
You never know who you will meet...

"I have never met anyone from the Internet,

especially not an Scottish-korean-cambodian-ugandian

super model who designs nuclear weapons in her spare time..."

I've Never Been To Me

Hey lady, you lady, cursing at your life

You're a discontented mother and a regimented wife

I've no doubt you dream about the things you'll never do

But, I wish someone had talked to me

Like I wanna talk to you.....

Oh, I've been to Georgia and California and anywhere I could run

I took the hand of a preacher man and we made love in the sun

But I ran out of places and friendly faces because I had to be free

I've been to paradise but I've never been to me

Monday- Take it all in and just breathe

Warning: Long and winding rant for the next 50km....

The saturday meeting went well. The interviewer was nicer and more patient than most. Can't sleep, I'm caring too much again. Where is my off button?

Misserable. Simply Misserable. What can I say, I'm just not happy dispite trying hard. Life, Love, Family, Friends & Work. All not doing very well.

Life. It feels like I'm stuck in a rut. Like the backroads of Malaysia, life seems to have furrows which you have to follow. But in an emergency you can always count on the locals to exploit you. Life's ruts involve more complex negotiations.

Love. Its nice. But somehow I still feel lonely. I hate loneliness. Have you ever felt like you were drowning in a sea of faces?

Family. Same old mellowdrama- constant guilt tripping. The last time my father decided to bitch I just had to say"Look, just don't make my mother cry anymore". I can never understand the point of guilt tripping.

Friends. Bickering & limelight grabbing. I keep on getting caught in the crossfire, pasifying them, etc. Its wearing me down. No, wait I'm worn.

Work. The job that once was fresh and interesting (as all jobs are) has become mundane and tedious. Somedays I feel like ramming my car into a tree rather than going to the office.

I have been told I expect too much, so I lowered my expectations. Didn't help.
I was told to take things easy. Should I stand still as life passes me by? Sure I'm taking steps to move on, but its just not working. Stil stuck in a rut. Stil misserable. I would think I would be desensitized by now. I got to concentrate on breathing and wait for tommorow....

...If I just breathe
How do you fill the space in between?
Oh no, everything is alright
Breathe
Everything little piece of me
You'll see
Everything is alright
If I just breathe...

Breathe ~ Micheal Branch

Weather's gloomy. Lunch's horrible. Music's lethargic.

I decide to console myself. After all....Happiness is a journey...not a destination. (Most annoying quote I have ever come across)

As the rain falls I remember~ A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

With that lil spark of mischief... I go forth to annoy and attempt to brighten my day....

*Lovely weather we are having isntit? With the rain I everywhere will be jammed and everyone else will have to go home late too...*