27 years of responsible slutting… OR NOT?

An old man turned twenty-seven… He won the lottery and died the next day

“Most of the strippers can go home now, only the regular ones stay...” My birthday has come, gone & nothing much has changed. Sure there was a little panic as usual but just like every time I take a shower only to find my lose hair everywhere, I know I’m not losing it, but its just a process. *Flips thick shiny luxurious hair in defiance*

I never forgot it, confusing as it was… No fun with no guilt feelings

Most expectedly, over 3 vigorous nights of drinking, dancing, singing & being merry, I celebrated my birthday. That’s right, it was just like every other weekend I’ve had an excuse to binge drink! I did not celebrate it, yet at the same time I did not not celebrate it.

You didn't think I'd show up with my army… And this ammunition on my back

Most pleasing gift of all was given to me by myself. I tested negative for hiv & got a clean bill of health. Okay, so my cholesterol is a bit high, but nothing more shagging & green veggies wont cure. And when I say shagging, I mean working out at the gym…

I recommend biting off more then you can chew to anyone…I certainly do

Most surprising gift was a chocolate with a mini sponge cake on top and on top the cake, a tea light. Sure my friends did know it was my birthday but by the time they served it, I was so high I barely remembered my own name. Heh. Truly a new way to be surprised.

I don't mean to pick you apart you see… But I can't help it

Most perfect gift was given by Carnie & Slutboy! To me, the perfect gift is something the giver & receiver both appreciate and something the receiver wouldn’t normally buy for himself. That’s right! They got me Allan Wu in a tiny white Speedo! Or was it an equally as fabulous Raoul name card holder?

An older version of me… Is she perverted like me?

Most eventful was a truly hot 3 way kiss on the dance floor *Giggle*. The music was hot, the men were hot and the way it was done was, guess what? That right HOT! It was like one of those movies where the camera focuses on the leading stars and everyone around them blurs out & the music reaches peaks as they kiss. I think I’ve done something as skanky before but this time how it was so much more scandalous. I herd some scornful moans from the crowd, but its better to have the bad reputation than be a shadowed face in the crowd.

What it all comes down to my friends… Is that everything's just fine fine fine

Yeap, I’m wiser.

Emoticon/ Lexicon: Insatiable/ Delectable (Part 2)

Lexicon: Saturday At Soul Food with Jacob Sam Larose , Food Foundry

Its almost as if I did it so I could say "how very cultural of me!" I went to Soul a poetry recital just to see if I’d like it. The headliner (if that is what you call him) was Jacob Sam Larose Jacob Sam Larose , a Brit who was supported by a motley group of local poets. That and they have a very delicious crepe cake. Try the strawberries & crème, it’s the best!

On the whole I liked it tho I’m not sure if I will ever be inspired enough to sit through another round. One of the many things he said was that it’s a faux pas to write poetry about poetry & that is why he wrote a poem about poetry. Cheeky bugger!

Me being me, I decided to take it a step further & now present to you my poem about poets reciting poetry!

You Don’t Deserve Me

I still remember you,
that shiver as you blindly hypnotized on the radio.
Every word as mesmerizing as lover’s saliva,
Every pause an eternity,
Every silence my fear of uncertainty.
So strong the anger & jealousy.
But now I’ve tracked you down for more.

You preen before the crowd,
forgetting your prime destiny.
Your ebony feathers carefully crafted,
bemusing me your freshly acquired prodigies,
turning into prancing jesters.
Like young boys in a jerk circle,
each taking their turn at ejaculating their feelings.
How gross,
how kinky,
how divine,
how did I forget t’was not them I came for?

Emoticon/ Lexicon: Insatiable/ Delectable

I have to admit, more often that most, I have this deep unquenchable thirst for everything worth having. I want more excitement, I want more peace, more space & more attention. More friends, sex, spirituality, lovers, food, muscles, money, music, flavors, knowledge, experiences, time, freedom, clothes, alcohol & books (not necessarily in that order). Yes, I have to admit I am the personification of greed.

And so begins the 2-part story of my greedy weekend…


The Friday Emo(t)icon: Markus Schulz overwhelms Zouk, KL

Yes, not many may know him, but Markus Schulz is one of the top twenty DJs in the world. Sure he shares this title wit nineteen other DJs but what’s special about him is his own personal brand of emotion stirring trance music. Well, that and he is pretty darn do-able. With Carnie out of town & Slutboy tied up at work, I went down to the city with a new guy who shares a similar passion for trance. Yes he is cute but no I haven’t slept with him.

Upon arrival, we shared 2 jugs of Long Island Tea which we never did get around to finishing. But we didn’t need to. They were super strong and they got us super high! Higher than the highest kite I let my emotions take over as I swayed to the music. With my eyes half opened & my body unable to stay still, I let the beats depict my feelings & movements. Yes, I have been accused of being over emotional by many but something about the rhythm, base & vocals that just heightened my senses to a whole new level.

When Slutboy finally arrived, I part of me was overjoyed. I know all too well the value of a good friend who shares a passion. At times like these do have to remind myself that there is no need to obsess about such things and just enjoy the time.

Scoff if you must, but I felt as if I was performing the joyous interpretive dance of everything that was ever wrong with my life. Sad yet happy? Is that even possible?

Freedom from,
Sorrow like there is no tomorrow from a time long gone,
Rejection from a lover of which I almost didn’t recover,
Physical attraction for man just discovered,
Hunger for a human touch,
Fear of the unknown future,
Guilt & anger stemming from unfulfilled promises,
Unwanted neediness & obsessive compulsiveness…

They all bled from my aura & yet I was totally elated. I really don’t know if anyone feels the way I feel when I dance intoxicated as I really don’t know how to describe the feeling to others. How do you describe what happens after a few beers to someone who has never had alcohol? Harder yet, how do you describe emo-trance to someone who has never listen to any trance tracks before? Combine the two in a twisted mind & you have me at my pinnacle of peace. Sad, happy & now peaceful? The fucker’s nuts!

When Markus Schulz played tracks like ‘Without You Near’ and ‘In Your Loving Arms’, OMGoat my mild melted & I was dancing 5 inches above the floor! I’d love to tell you that you will simply love the music. But the relationship I and my feelings have with the music is a personal one. My best advice is to listen to the tracks yourself. I don’t guarantee it will do anything for you, but you would be a bit closer to my heart. Does any of this make sense to you?

Is it wise to say
While the other's waiting
She's contemplating you
Another passes by the door
Any other day, you just look Around and
All you see is gone
All you see is gone

Markus Schulz ft Departure~ Without You Near

Tokking Kok: Mak3 Him/HEr MOaN!

Great News! I am comfortable with the size of my manhood and hence do not need to enlarge anything! That’s right, given the opportunity, I have enough inches to fuck all of you damn spammers!

If you can’t tell, lately my mail box is plagued by spam mail! And everyday, all that spam takes up a little bit of my precious time to get rid of it. I truly wonder if spam is random or targeted like do,

women get stuff about breast enlargement?
kids receive backdoors to pokeman?
elderly gentlemen get youth reviving formulas (for when their toy-boys pass out from drug overdose)?
or is it all random and even grannies get offers to add girth to their members?

Most probably the latter, huh? That aside, lets play a game I played whiles I didn’t do nothing much in the office today. Not mind games because I don’t like people who play them (better than me).

How many words can you think of which contain cock in them?
And how which of them make you giggle?

These are the answers I and a few other slackers came up with…


shuttlecock
cocky
cocksure
cockerel
cockatoo *giggle*
cockatrice
cockeyed
cockle
cockney
stopcock
peacock
cock-up
cockpit
cocktail
cockle
cocker spaniel *giggle*
cockadoodledoo,
John Hancock
cockteaser
cockpleaser
cocksucker
bangkok
cockscrew
cockadile *snigger*

SLUT WITH A HEART: Terms & Conditions Applied

My birthday is around the corner again. Previous years have found me terrified & hysterical. And why not? Who wants to declare they have more wrinkles, more flab & more emotional baggage?

But this year I am pretty confident I will not indulge in self pity or self destructive behavior. I dare say I have discovered the best part about growing older- wisdom! Nothing nor no one can take away the experiences I’ve lived through or the friendships I’ve built along the way.

Tonight, as I was guzzling booze, I had my own set of epiphanies!

Ask me at 20-22 and I would have told you confidently of my life plan. At 27 I saw myself progressing well in my dream job & living with my ideal partner. Sure I don’t have any of that but I have much much more! Many of my “what if”s have been answered most confidently. I have had the opportunity to try different jobs and different men. I no longer worry about being trapped in a disfunctional relationship either.

Now more than ever I am most certain of what I am looking for in life. How many other people can say that? How many have ventured down the dangerous path only to discover a pot of gold at the end?

Then there are the friends I’ve grown to love & adore. They haven’t remained stagnant either. Many, just like me have extrapolated themselves by leaps & bounds! By the grace of their will, once unsure little princesses have become dominatrix queens full of zest & zeal and love sick puppies have become the happily married bitches I love to loathe. Even the daydreamers with their heads in the clouds have found their own personal heaven.

Sure I have more regrets than just ‘the cute guy that got away’ but who doesn’t have their own little hang-ups?

Life may not be perfect for now but I have done so many things that most only read about in paperback novels & seen so many things that most only view on TV. Sure there have been those who frown on my deviant behavior, but it all has been worth it. Keeping the tempo of my life lively mixed with the beat of fresh experiences ensures I’ve never have to settle for second best.

I may live my life like quail in a speed zone,
but I know I can settle down & be someone’s home… *HICK*