Long Weekend: Where In World Is Carnie & Slutboy?

Recently on Msn Msngr…

AJ: So did you pack lots of money to buy your best friend a fabulous gift?

Slutboy: Carnie is in Dubai lah, don’t have to buy him anything… hee hee hee…

AJ: FINE! Next time you feel lazy to drive down to KL to party, see if he comes & picks you up!

Slutboy: Okay what you want?

AJ: I’m not picky something tanned, tall, built & well spoken will do…

Slutboy: I'll bring you Paris Hilton. Hee Hee Hee

AJ: Lol... Please lah, Paris won’t be slumming in Bali… Not unless there is a The Simple Life Asia Edition…

Slutboy: Lol… Its too far from any good plastic surgeons too…

So I’d say I’ll be doing interviews to replace them this weekend, but I’ve already found new crew to party with. Yeap, two new boys for the power of 3 and all that shit (all that shit being enough man power to carry me to the car should I pass out). We’ll be partying it out at the Sleaze Ball!

I’m like a Kakapo~ Too Cool For Love

All my life I hear people calling me a 'rare species'… Totally agree! I don’t feel like or want to be like anyone else. I want to be my own person doing what makes me feel best.

The thing is, like that giant furry flightless parrot in New Zealand~ the Kakapo , I can scream at the top of my lungs & it doesn’t matter. I willl more likely attract exotic predators than suitable mates. Instinctive & built for the kill, the predators will most likely rip my pretty green feathers, devour poor little nocturnal me & leave my remains for the vultures.

Either that or all this time being alone has turn me cold. If time can shift deserts, crumble mountains & to a lesser extent turn milk into cheese, imagine what it does to one’s heart…

And one’s mind…

(I like comparing myself to animate objects too)

If I said I mean the world to you
would you try to call me honey
I always thought I knew
I always thought I knew
I was a part of you but now I know
no, I don't wanna be

I always thought I knew the pureness of your love
everytime you call me honey
but now the words you choose won't ever be enough
'cause what they mean will only hurt me
'cause I don't wanna hear it this time
I don't wanna feel it this time

I don't wanna be your baby this time
I don't wanna feel this heartache
I don't wanna be your honey this time
I just wanna feel your heart on my side
no, I don't wanna be...

if I whisper words you haven't heard before
would you read my lips and help them
if I said that I'm a stranger to your world
would you treat me like your best friend
could you ever show it this time
I really wanna know it this time

'cause I don't wanna be your baby this time
I don't wanna feel this heartache
I don't wanna be your honey this time
I just wanna feel your heart on my side

if I said that I will re-invent myself
if I told you yesterday I was somebody else, well
would you listen to me
would you let me...

'cause I don't wanna be your baby this time
I don't wanna feel this heartache
I don't wanna be your honey this time
I just wanna feel your heart on my side

Tiesto ~ Honey (Chicane Mix)

Anti Epiphany (No, Seriously)

Some times stupid lines, where ever they may be found make so much sense that you want to slap your forehead and scream “DUH!”

People who take care of their bodies are more confident DUH!

Even damaged people deserved to be loved DUH!

You only get cake at celebrations because is so fucking fattening DUH!

People who don’t bathe often smell bad DUH!

Anything good never comes very easy DUH!

Careless people lose things DUH!

It only takes one event to change a person’s perception DUH!

Lazy people don’t like work DUH!

Yeah… just thought I'd share these unwise words…

Crazy/Love: The Riddle of The Reformed

Some things I don’t regret but just wonder what if…

What if, many years ago I fuck cared/ listened to everyone and did the unthinkable/ norm with that condemned/ revered. Sure at times I was happy/ crazy but there were also times I felt like the damnedest/ luckiest person in the world.

Maybe if I didn’t entrusted/ disposed of everything sacred/ tainted into the arms of another I would be hated/ loved. Maybe history is destined to go in vicious cycles… Or not. Whatever.

Just let it die
With no goodbyes
Details don't matter
We both paid the price
Tears in my eyes
You know sometimes
It'd be like that baby

Mariah Carey~ Don’t Forget About Us

Banana Beauty Queens

Today I finally got back to the gym after a week of absence. It did feel good to grunt in my own little world as I listened to hard pounding music.

But I was surprised at the number of loose-wristed, short shorts wearing men with oddly huge calves walking about in the gym. I was also blinded by super fluorescent shoes, sparking gadgets & suffocating tight singlets (any shirt without sleeves is a singlet… girls).

*Eeep* Did the management of La Queen take over the gym too?

Then I realized there was an advanced steps class later that night...

Beauty isn't the only thing that is shallow...silly me.

They always leave the best 'till last
Have understanding, no questions asked
You find yourself in what you see
You found yourself in me..
You found yourself in me..
The day is short, the night is cool
And this night, it was made for fools
You won't find fools like me and you
I found myself in you..
You found.. yourself..
You found.. yourself..

Ridgewalkers ft El (Markus Schulz Mix)~ Find

So much for my happy ending…

Besides good sex, there are only two things harder to find in KL~

1. Good retorts
2. Good massages

Tonight, I found both. After dinner my good friend & I decided that we needed a good massage. It’s the perfect way for us to spend time with each other without spending time with each other.
I chose a masseur named ‘Starhill’, which I guess was adapted from the infamous shopping district. Sure there were other interesting names like Moscow, Armani, Sydney & Paris, but I felt like trying some local flavor. If he were a movie I'd give him a pretty decent rating. good with his hands, chest & chin, he really did know what he was doing. Some where during the massage I prompted the skilled boy with a question~

AJ: So do you just do this for work or do you like boys?

Starhill: Well I just do this for work… and I like boys too… Hahaha

Sharp one that Starhill. And to think I was afraid he wouldn’t understand the question. Shame on me.

And for the uninitiated, try the naked massage often referred to as ‘bukak’, the slang term for ‘open’. And the term ‘happy ending’ refers to the last part of the full body massage where the masseur jerks off the client. Really, on some level that’s all there is to my job…

I'm like a...

A BIG GLASS BOWL FULL OF CANDY!!

The kind you find invitingly at the reception desk.

Thats right, my motives appear crystal clear & are transparent for the world to see....

But they are SO NOT!

Red

Yellow

Blue

Green

Pink

Purple

You think you can see all the pretty pretty colorful pieces of gummy goodness, pectin packed gelatin & sugar coated sugar that make you wanna be my best friend...

BEWARE!

Beneath it all I have nuts! Nuts that you will sooner or later put into your mouth! And not to mention the oozy gooey bursting centres! So enjoy the sugar buzz whiles you can! Bwuahahahahaa...

(Yes, I often compare myself with inanimate objects. Its just I normally have the good sense not to translate them into words...)

The Boy Likes His Cake

The cake loving boy with the super round ass being me...

Seriously. As good as I aspire to look, nothing makes me happier than a good fat slice of cake. Coping with the procedural stresses of the new job is getting to me a little but I am very sure I will get the hang of it. Things can hang limp and flaccid, cant they?

I'm not giving up, just putting the super gym regiment on hold for now.

I did manage to make bodypump class on wednesday with my favourite instructor. I'm not sure if anyone else find grown men who can carry ridiculously heavy weights & buy their shorts in the kid's dept sexy, but I find his fucking amazing. His tone & manner are inspirational. Nice things do come in nice packages....

Just like cake. Just like the weekend...

Dunno What To Say

Maybe once upon a time I used to describe my life with great personal detail here and to other people, but I’ve most certainly become more cautious with exposure on many levels.

Let’s just say it doesn’t matter…
How much cake I don’t eat
The number of vodka shots I take
How gorgeous the men I have slept with
The flood of people who wanna be my bestest friends
Or even how many languages I can speak

All new things are faced with a bit of excitement & a lil more apprehension. Tomorrow, just like every single day, I wanna be even more fucking amazing than everyone else, including myself.

Preparation, anticipation & good manners can only do so much to prevent fuck ups. I still worry when nobody is looking. I still have larger than life dreams for this man. I hope I can remember to say the right things at the new job. At least I now have bigger things to worry about than stupid love.

I turn around I walk away
There's nothing else that I can say
I turn around I walk away
But you won't see me…
There's nothing else that I can say
But you won't see me cry

Armin Van Buuren, Markus Schulz~ You Won’t See Me Cry

KL Tower- The Suckiest Place For A Rave

Last Saturday was the second time I raved at KL Tower and it sucked so bad!

No, the DJs (Joey G, D Formation, Marco V & headliner Yoji Biomehanika) were fantastic… I even got to see Yoji Biomehanika (you can’t get away with a name like this unless you’re a DJ) up close as he walked by. No one else seemed to recognize him though. Does that make me a fangirl?

The company was fun. The drinks were reasonable, the boys were cute & the girls were very well dressed.

KL Tower is a pretty place to view KLCC from but I will certainly never understand how they expected to fit all the ravers in that tiny space. Or did they expect to be so unsuccessful? The word going around was there were 7000 ravers, 2000 in the dance area & 5000 on the lower deck. I’m sure there is some sense of status as an organizer to say your rave was held at KL Tower but why the fuck couldn’t they be practical?

Make us drive down to Sepang, plenty of oversized parking lots there!

Ask us to put up with the wet sand at Sunway Lagoon Theme Park!

Even a trip to Port Dickson or Melaka would have been acceptable.

But NoooOOOooo…

Yeah I did have fun, but it certainly could have been better located. Grumble. Dumbasses!

Working Hard/ Hardly Working

Global warming is catching up, people are dieing in the Solomon Islands & the politicians are playing dirty… Still, it is my life that matters most. Finally reach my final day at my company. Fed them a artificially flavored longan, pandan & almond jelly jelly. They loved/ hated it.

They in turn fed me with Chillis, a 10 course Chinese dinner, a mushroom chicken chop with bacon, Coke Lite, wantan mee, half a lotus seed pau, half a butter pau, a pear, grapes, mini Mars, mini bounty… You get the picture- FAT.

I’m gonna miss all the taunts, the jokes, the pokes & the recipes.

I really really loved working with them. It was only Polly who gave me problems & she I dealt with. I will miss all the straight male ass grabbing. I will miss all the over dramatized conflicts. Most of all I will miss the sincerity.

Working with them has changed me for better…

Now on to bigger & better things!

Games, changes and fears
When will they go from here
When will they stop
I believe that fate has brought us here
And we should be together
But wer,e not
I play it off but I'm dreamin of you
I'll keep it cool but I'm fiendin.
I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near

Macy Gray~ I Try

Everybody Baas

Actually they don't. Its just some of the people in my life.

All think they are goats. Heh.

Well the goat is back & love has made him more tender than tenderloin.

If you can't lose weight pray that all your friends get fat.

Baa!

I Hunger

I know I hunger when every man looks like meat...

No, wait make that looks like sausage...

More precisely big fat salami....

Need to get me some before I explode. Meh...

Fuck Me? Fuck You (Polly)!

I am about to change jobs and I considered preparing a vengeful goodbye speech aimed without tact at Polly, the one person who has made my work life needlessly stressful. But really, would it be worth it?

If Polly was a hooker, her street name would be the Garden Backho because she is too lazy to get off her back, Ever! That and wash her stinky whisker biscuit, hence the well fertilized bushes sprouting from her somewhat female genitalia…

Here is my too well thought out speech…

Thank you all for your kind support & heart felt cooperation. I have enjoyed working along side y’all tremendously. If I may be so bold to offer some advice before I spread my wings…

I’m not a particularly religious person but I do believe God gave us all the ability to think for a reason. With in reason, we all know how to perform routine tasks but it is taking the initiative to better ourselves that separate us from animals.

If you follow the news, there are those two dogs… what’s their names? Female dog names… oh yes, Lucky & Flow. Even well trained dogs like Lucky and Flow can be trained to sniff out pirated DVDs. And in Africa they have those explosive hunting rats. So wouldn’t we be worse off than dogs & rats if we cant take initiative to do our own routine things that happen over many years…

*insert tactfully aimed bitchy glance at lazy ass whore*

Thanks you all & do keep in touch!

*blow kiss!*

But I’m not a vengeful bitch, just a bitch…

Hyper Death Babies

I know I'm s'posed to quit smoking but funny story…

Hyper Death Babies is funny, smoking isn’t.

Getting out of old patterns isn’t always easy, but I haven’t given up trying yet. A 10 year habit isn’t easy to break. A bit more bodypump and determination, a lil less partying & free time, I should be able to do this… Yeah

I'm not dead just yet
I'm not dead I'm just floating
Doesn't matter where I'm going
I'll find you
I'm not scared at all
Underneath the cuts and bruises
Finally gained what no one loses
I'll find you
I will find you
I'm not dead just floating
I'm not scared just changing
You're my crack of sunlight yeah

Pink ~ I’m Not Dead Just Floating