Fun in the Morning

Look at me,

my depth perception must be off again

You got much closer than I thought you did

I’m in your reach

You held me in your hands

But could you find it in your heart?

To make this go away

And let me rest in pieces

Would you find it in your heart?

To make it go away

And let me rest in pieces..

Saliva ~ Rest In Pieces

Something was wrong this morning. But despite the foreboding feeling that something was off I got ready for my morning the way I normally do.

I turned off my alarm, took a dump, brushed my teeth, checked to see if I needed to shave and showered. As I began to comb my hair, I heard the strangest sound from the water heater.

It sounded like there was a bird trapped inside. The poor bird couldnt get out and was frantically panicking! It got louder and louder. It was almost as it was shouting in my ear. It was telling me that the water filter needed changing and my deadlines were approaching!

Just when I thought things couldnt get weirder, I woke up. I had to curse. I hate dreams that resemble reality so closely! So routine! So dull & the worst part is, I would have to repeat it!

I always enjoy dreams where stranded on a desert island with a bunch of dumb blond hunks who frantically tried to repopulate the island. And eventhough I wasnt getting pregnant, it never stopped them from trying. Besides what else is there to do in the the middle of no where?

Then there were the X files style dreams where I was partnered with the cutest man in a black suit and we had to investigate the weirdest things. Aliens, monsters or simply invaders attempting to destroy the earth. Eventhough the earth was comming to an end, we always had time to cum at the end.

Hesitantly I had to quickly get ready for work and drag myself into the car. I felt that it was time for a quick fantasy. I was car jacked by the cutest criminal who was just about to declare his desire to fornicate when the asshole at the back honked. I was shocked back to reality.

I reached the office with minutes to spare before 9.00am when the punch machine would give me red marks. I confidently slip the slip into the damn thing but when I pulled it out it gave me a blue 10.08am.

Confused I let out a "Awww Fuck I must be still dreaming! Kanina Chau Chee Bai" (Oh mother fucker's smelly pussy)

Fortunately I wasnt. Even more fortunate, noone was around to hear me curse like the kampung (small village) boy I was. The machine was spoilt.

Unsatisfied with my unfulfilled fantasies. I sat down with my tea and biscuits to tell this sordid sad tale...

The End