Monday- Take it all in and just breathe

Warning: Long and winding rant for the next 50km....

The saturday meeting went well. The interviewer was nicer and more patient than most. Can't sleep, I'm caring too much again. Where is my off button?

Misserable. Simply Misserable. What can I say, I'm just not happy dispite trying hard. Life, Love, Family, Friends & Work. All not doing very well.

Life. It feels like I'm stuck in a rut. Like the backroads of Malaysia, life seems to have furrows which you have to follow. But in an emergency you can always count on the locals to exploit you. Life's ruts involve more complex negotiations.

Love. Its nice. But somehow I still feel lonely. I hate loneliness. Have you ever felt like you were drowning in a sea of faces?

Family. Same old mellowdrama- constant guilt tripping. The last time my father decided to bitch I just had to say"Look, just don't make my mother cry anymore". I can never understand the point of guilt tripping.

Friends. Bickering & limelight grabbing. I keep on getting caught in the crossfire, pasifying them, etc. Its wearing me down. No, wait I'm worn.

Work. The job that once was fresh and interesting (as all jobs are) has become mundane and tedious. Somedays I feel like ramming my car into a tree rather than going to the office.

I have been told I expect too much, so I lowered my expectations. Didn't help.
I was told to take things easy. Should I stand still as life passes me by? Sure I'm taking steps to move on, but its just not working. Stil stuck in a rut. Stil misserable. I would think I would be desensitized by now. I got to concentrate on breathing and wait for tommorow....

...If I just breathe
How do you fill the space in between?
Oh no, everything is alright
Breathe
Everything little piece of me
You'll see
Everything is alright
If I just breathe...

Breathe ~ Micheal Branch

Weather's gloomy. Lunch's horrible. Music's lethargic.

I decide to console myself. After all....Happiness is a journey...not a destination. (Most annoying quote I have ever come across)

As the rain falls I remember~ A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

With that lil spark of mischief... I go forth to annoy and attempt to brighten my day....

*Lovely weather we are having isntit? With the rain I everywhere will be jammed and everyone else will have to go home late too...*