Well I've Never...

(Borrowed from Enough About You)


The following statements in pink are true, the rest are well *lil* white lies.

I've Never Kissed A Member Of The Opposite Sex
Many times and its most prolly the only thing I can still imagine myself doing with a gurl. In fact, just the other day a friend looked so fuckin kissable.
~It even amazes me when I make statements like that... When the circumstances are ideal I can't help but imagine plunging into the situation. I am always attracted to unique beauty, be it male or female.

I've Never Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
Urm... Many times and enjoyed it... Men have such stubly kisses. So different from gurls. I can almost taste their masculinity...

I've Never Crashed A Friend's Car
I cant ever recall driving a friends car. Most prolly they see the way I drive and want me to keep my hands off the wheel and in their pockets.

I've Never Been To Japan
I was there for a Year and I learnt to say "Uzei baka ika damare ahho tako"
which loosely translates into get lost you no good noisy squid-like-octopus. Animals with tenticles are not reveered in the land of the rising sun...

I've Never Been In Love
Yes I have... But sometimes it lasts and sometimes it doesn't. I don't always have a choice in these things. But I promised myself I learn to enjoy what I have as long as it lasts.

I've Never Had Sex In Public
Infact the first time I ever made out with someone it was in public (it was a girl). It was at the tennis court at the YMCA. When we left, we were covered in bites... Love bites & Mosquito bites.

I've Never Been Dumped
Painful as it was, i forget sometimes.

I've Never Been Fired
Well at the rate I have not been doing my work and rather spend it blogging, who knows...

I've Never Been In A Fist Fight
Came close many times but I can be convincingly scary.The Sneer-of-Death always works.

I've Never Had Group Intercourse
Ummm... It was fun in many many ways...

I've Never Been Tied Up
Fun Fun Fun

I've Never Regretted Having Sex With Someone
Well when after a supposed one time thinggy, they call constantly and whine about everything in their life and then post your picture online with the caption "people i've had fucked before", you HAVE to feel something.

I've Never Been Arrested
Stoped by the police for many wrong doings. Fireworks, obscene behaviour, speeding, no driving licence... but got away everytime.

I've Never Made Out With A Stranger
Aren't we all stragers until we try to get to know each other a lil better....

I've Never Stolen Something From My Job
But they were mostly harmlessly cheap. Can't wait for a job with real good stuff to "borrow" home.

I've Never Had A Crush On A Teacher
Havent we all? The gymnastics teacher was buff and has such doe eyes.

I've Never Celebrated Mardi Gras In New Orleans
I will one day....

I've Never Skipped School
I did it often but it was only so I could study without the teachers yapping in the background.

I've Never Slept With A Co-Worker
Never shit and eat in the same place.

I've Never Had Sex At The Office
Can't wait for the opportunity!

I've Never Had Sex With More Than One Person Within The Same Week.
This question really doesnt count for people who have had group sex.

I've Never Gotten Someone Drunk Just To Have Sex With Them
Most people willing get drunk by themselves... Sometimes you just need to hand them the bottle.

I've Never Received Scars From My Sex Partner
Well I have had some pretty clumsy lovers... Or so they want me to believe.

I've Never Thrown Up In A Bar
Funny story! I was at the old Emporium, we opened a 3L bottle and before i knew what was happening I grabbed the nearest jug and hurled. 30 mins later I was back on the dance floor.

I've Never Eaten Sushi
I love sushi but only the cooked ones. (yes.. yes.. i'm ecentric)

I've Never Had Sex At A Friend's House While They Were Throwing A Party
Once again I cant wait for the opportunity.

I've Never Flashed Anyone
Well if they want it, it cant be called flashing!

I've Never Met Anyone From Online
You never know who you will meet...

"I have never met anyone from the Internet,

especially not an Scottish-korean-cambodian-ugandian

super model who designs nuclear weapons in her spare time..."

I've Never Been To Me

Hey lady, you lady, cursing at your life

You're a discontented mother and a regimented wife

I've no doubt you dream about the things you'll never do

But, I wish someone had talked to me

Like I wanna talk to you.....

Oh, I've been to Georgia and California and anywhere I could run

I took the hand of a preacher man and we made love in the sun

But I ran out of places and friendly faces because I had to be free

I've been to paradise but I've never been to me