Meeting Expectations

Monday is here again! Oddly enough still bushed! Jugling is not my forte. Barely had any time to myself last week (and almost everyweek) because:-

1. Working full time (5.5 days a week)
2. Studying part time (2 nights a week)
3. Freelance writing (6 hours a week)
4. Maintaining family ties (4 hours a week)
5. Keeping friends close (4 hours a week)
6. Having a boyfriend (3 nights a week)
7. Going to the gym (2 nights a week)

Well, umm... what I'm really trying to say is~ I can't blog away my time anymore! I'll be updating less. & maybe its a good thing my TV blew up, more time to concentrate on other issues. Ciao till then honeys!

When the day is done
And the world is sleeping
And the moon is on its way to shine
All your friends are gone
You thought were so worth keeping
You feel you don’t belong
But you don’t know why

And everytime you hear the rolling thunder
You turn around before the lightening strikes
And does it ever make you stop and wonder
If all your good times pass you by

Sheryl Crow ~ Good is Good

Crocodile Tears

I must admit, I didnt like my song for the last post. Not because it is bad but because, there is surely a better one. But it didnt come to mind & AJ didnt have time to think yesterday!

Today, the radio stations resumed playing songs with lyrics. But they are mostly sentimental sad songs. There are tons of sad songs, lots of them beautiful, but only a few have actually made me cry.

Yes, I cry. Sometimes its because I'm sad (duh). Sometimes its because I miss someone. Sometimes I'm not even sure why. Maybe I've burried some hidden feelings really deep? Here is a song that could make me cry even when happy. The lyrics, the voice, the tune~ Perfect! So if I really need to look extra sad, I think back to this song. (Don't ask why I need to look sad sometimes.. lol)

Twenty seconds on the back time
I feel you’re on the run
Never lived too long to make right
I see you’re doing fine

And when I get that feeling
I can no longer slide
I can no longer run
Ah no no
And when I get that feeling
I can no longer hide
For it’s no longer fun
Ah no no

Well, you can say what you want
But it won’t change my mind
I’ll feel the same
About you
And you can tell me your reasons
But it won’t change my feelings
I’ll feel the same
About you

What I am is what you want of me
Yeh, now that I’m not there
I took the tables away from you
It’s turned that I don’t care

Well, you can say what you want
But it won’t change my mind
I’ll feel the same
About you
And you can tell me your reasons
But it won’t change my feelings
I’ll feel the same
About you

I’ve said goodnight
Try to sleep tight
Ah just dream of me
Go close your eyes
Cause I’ve closed mine
The sun will shine from time to time
Oh, when you dream of me, yeh

Texas ~ Say What You Want

Post of Silence for a Brave Lady

From the Star today:~

Datin Seri Endon Mahmood , 64, the wife of Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi, passed away at 7.55am(GMT 23.55) Thursday at Sri Perdana, the Prime Minister's official residence in Putrajaya.

Didn't know much about her but what I do, makes me respect her.

Everywhere I go
Every smile I see
I know you are there
Smilin' back at me
Dancin' in moonlight
I know you are free
I can see your star
Shinin' down on me

Janet Jackson ~ Together Again

Whats in the Name AJ?

The kind of labels I absolutely will not wear are those that aim to define me. I refuse to be defined! I simply will not succumb to the pressure of being labelled.
Given the simple fact that I have chosen AndroJane as my name, I tought it was clear that I do not wish to be pigeon holed by anyone. There is no simple category to define me, my style or my tastes.

I believe I have the choice to change my mind. I have the choice to be who I want to be. Especially so online where rapists can pretend to be little girls & chat with coppers who pretend to be little girls too. Don't judge me if you don't know me!

I may not be totally comfortable with my sexuality but I'm comfortable being me. Somedays I wish I was slimmer or I was sexier but I get by just fine with my God-given looks! I have been attracted to all sorts of men, beanstalks, hobbit, honey in the sunshine, snow-flakes, bug eyed weeping willows, painted goats (of course the goat gets special mention), sacks of potatoes, scarecrows etc.... Choosing between men is like choosing between diamonds and pearls. What ever suits your mood best.

If there is one trait in anyone I value above the rest is the ability to think. Think open mindedly & creatively. Just because I have expressed my like of chocolate cake doesnt mean I'm not a sucker for vanilla ice cream! I will eat what I want to, when I want to. I will not let you classify me like some bug you collect off your windshield.

I am AndroJane. Hear me (and my peeps) Roar!

an·drog·y·nous
adj.
1. Biology having both female and male characteristics; hermaphroditic.
(Errm not this one. I assure you, I may act like a queen but I'm all man.)
2. Being neither distinguishably masculine nor feminine, as in dress, appearance, or behavior.
(Yes yes! This is the root word of AndroJane!)

[From Latin androgynus, hermaphrodite, from Greek androgunos]
The name androjane was meant to be read as An-dro-Ja-ney i.e androgyny! Gettit? Gettit? Yes? Sadly, not many do...

Nothing in life is set in stone
There's nothing that can't be turned around
Nobody wants to be alone
Everybody wants to love someone
Out of the tree go pick a plum
Why can't we all just get along?
(Boys) Boys in the girls room
(Girls) Girls in the men's room
You free your mind in your androgyny
(Boys) Boys in the quarter
(Girls) They're getting harder
I'll free your mind and your androgyny

Garbage~ Androgyny

I will not eat it with a goat!

Mary Alice of Desprate Housewives once said "Beware of visitors with gift baskets." She was so right coz altho most cakes are delicious if not pretty. But not this cake. I highly suspect its the Devil incarnated in the form of a chocolate dessert.

If that precious Ring was forged in the fires of Mount Doom and Wingedman's Barli was produced by the Puteri Gunung Ledang, then this cake was created in Hell's Oven, thats right, my fathers whore baked it.

So should I have eaten the cake? Hell No! Indonesians are infamous for their proficiency at "jampi" (curses) & who knows what she did to the cake. For example, there is this thing called Nasi Kang Kang, which means Wide Open Rice. Supposedly anyone that eats it will crave the person that made it & will do whatever they want.

Recipe for Nasi Kang Kang
Cook rice.
When still hot stand over the plate or squat over it.
Let the steam rise into you groin.
Let the condensed steam drip back down onto the rice.
Serve it to your victim.

Does it work? I have no freakin idea but I wouldnt wanna try it. I've herd of other variations to this recipe, each one grosser than the next.

Sad to say, I decided that the cake as evil as it is, shouldn't be wasted. I thought if the people eating the caked didn't know about its diabolique origins, they wouldn't be affected. I was so wrong.

I gave it away yesterday morning & it caused nothing but strife & misunderstanding. Chubby chirpy girls that normally gobble up free food silently became fat sinister viragos. Sparing you the details, that cake caused me hell the whole day. I didnt even eat it and it gave me a stomach ache! MUKASTKU!

No! No! I will not eat it!
I will not eat it with a goat,
I will not eat it wearing a coat.
I will not eat it in a boat on a moat,
even if its the only thing that keeps me afloat.

The AJ Cake Rant

Did you expect anything less demented?

A Ruggy Monday To You!

Yes its Monday & the day started well, tho I just got pissed over a cake incident. I knew that cake was trouble. *Breathe In* *Breathe Out* *Breathe In* *Breathe Out* She can't spoil my day.

Anyhoo, that Grrr-cake is the topic of another post. Back to how I started my day well. If you are sick of hearing about my love life. Then please surf away to another link.

My babe asked me to wake him up with a phone call. So I did~ sanging him a cute-sexy Romanian song he introed to me last nite. So now I'm happy. Simple eh?

Ever wondered what Ruggy looks like?
Here are some shots of Abshishek Bachchan, Bollywood star that look like my baby. Of course my lover is cuter.. DUH !!

Pout all you want Mr Bachchan, Ruggy is still cuter!

Seriously, you can glare at me but no matter, he he still has bigger... eyes (yeah thats it) and a cuter nose.

Stil not happening! For the last time you only look like him from this angle! He is younger, goof & surely smarter ... (And I'm dellusional)

Mi-a-hii Mi-a-huu Mi-a-haa Mi-a-ha ha
Mi-a-hii Mi-a-huu Mi-a-haa Mi-a-ha ha
Mi-a-hii Mi-a-huu Mi-a-haa Mi-a-ha ha

Allo, salut, sint yel, un hydook,
she teraw, youbeera mah, primesh der, vericheera,
Allo, Allo, sint yel, Picasso,
Tiam dat beep, she sen voynic, un dar sege ti notes cher nimeek

(English)

Ello Salute It's me...your duke

And I made something thats real to show you how i feel

Ello Ello its me picasso i will paint

my words of love with your name on every wall

O-Zone ~ Numa Numa Song

Go see the video of this song, its worth the wait! You may wanna turn down the sound if you are in the office tho

http://www.big-boys.com/articles/numanuma.html

Confessions on the Dancefloor: The AJ Monologues

Thanks for the comments babes, although I had a super stressful paternal visit, I some how managed to get over my hang ups & partied hardcore with the boys. Where were the queens shaking their booty? It was one of the most mainstream gay friendly "mixed" (or so I'm told) clubs in the Sultan Ismail area. They gave us a taste of the new maddy song and it was so ABBA! I did enjoy it tho. So ya ever wondered how "clubbin with the boys" is?
Here are some of my random thoughts & quotes from the outing...

Yellow RM10 parking eh? How the hell do I find it?

"Oh Kitty I asked you to drink, not wet your lips like a geisha!"

Damn Wingedman's biceps are coming up fast! I need to start the weights quick!

"It burns!"

Oh sexy mamma, no pussy for me tonite thank you!

"DUFF I MISSED YOU!"

Do these pants make my butt look fat?

This is going to be a fantastic nigtht! There's really nothing like being greeted with a hug by a cute guy when you first enter a club.

Oh no! I'm Lost! "Did I like blindly follow you here & forgot about my friends?... I tot so. See ya!"

OMG is that the Soggy Potato?

"Hello Sexy Boy...Did ya happen to see my posse?" Batt Eyelids. Fark them, I'm actually gonna oggle at men pretending I'm lost.

Oh Oh Oh! The alcohol is hitting fast! I'm so high! Better control a bit more.

I'd do him, him, him & him.

Twirl like a balerina? Why the fark not!

Damn right. That uncle can still kick ass.

"Not High? here have my drink! Its no fun being high alone!"

Your butt is so nice! I so wanna caress it, just like the rest of you!

All the songs they play seem to tease like Maddy's Hung Up...

"Damn his butt is so nice! It makes me wanna change my orientation"

Damn it is THE SOGGY POTATO! I guess its ok to oggle the boys like that here. Better blog all about it.

Oh honey, I know that look. If I wasn't attached I'd be all over you like fur on a dog.

Did you like lose a lot of weight recently or make that dress you self? Either way it swims on you like a potato sack on a crisp cut potato wedge. You so fine. You could do better.

"I slap you if you say that (fingers go for nipples like I'm gonna pinch them). You wan some milk issit? All dried up la sayang!"

Oh My Goat I can't believe they are hoisting each other up like some sex position! "Tak kenal la" (Don't know them la)

He is so fine. Its a good thing he is happily married or I'd make him mine.

The Booty.. NO TOUCHY! Move along, skank.

Some how string of pearls look so salah (wrong) against his treasure trail! He is NOT dancing with them.

"Oh my goat! There is this freaky girl all dressed in black with her hair uncombed like in The Ring! And she cuts thru the crowd like a ghoul. Damn its a good sHalloween Promotion."

"Hello Baby!... I'm at the club! Who is here? Straight boy in a gay club? Experimental ka tonite? Lol he IS half pass. Yes I'm drunk baby! You take care & have fun! Talk to you tomolo ok when I'm more sober? Need to go grope ass! LOOOOVE YOU!"

"Look at that chest! Oh his nipples are so perfect! And he has such nice dimples! Cute body & nice face!" He knows he is hot and he is working it. He has rythem. Oh Oh he didn't just put his hands on the wall and twirl his butt ala doggy style. I think I've been oogling too openly.

Oh I'm breathless! Ciggie Break time.

Geeky malay boy with glasses and unkempt hair! I would so do!

Look at that guy on the podium! The tatoo in the front goes into his pants. I wonder what it looks like there....

"4 bucks for iced barli is rediculous! You better blog about it!"

Tho I really doubt Wingedman wil take my advice on the overpriced beverage, I really had a good time with the boys. We danced & we groped (thats right pervs, imagine us groping each other!). The music could have been improved on but other than that it was a good club nite.

Post Clubbin Thots:
Don't hang up your dancing shoes yet ladies, there are still many more clubbing-miles left in them!

Well Dad, if you don't judge me, I really don't want to judge you. Peace ok?

Sorry WJ if your butt is sore from being pinched too much, but its your fault for being so hot, seriously.


You can't change me
Or rearrange me
Don't waste your time baby can't you see?
That you can't change me

Armand Van Helden ~ You Can't Change Me

Un-Post Secret

I promised myself I wouldn't stress out today. Sure it's a crappy working Saturday but Duff is back! And I wanna boogie on the dancefloor! So let me try to release some anger so I can survive the day. Don't read on if family drama disturbs you.

My father is coming to visit today. Something about how his children never visit much. Its true. I cant deny I usually feed him empty promises to keep him away. He claims he misses his family. I find that most amusing considering how he rebuilt our home & got himself a new whore who is even younger than his youngest son. I believe she is in her teens. But what should I care?

My mother took it well at first. But now she stays with my brother. She can't stand being in the same house as them. None of us can. Fortunately we have each other to depend on. If this was a Post Secret Postcard, it would read:

I FEAR ONE DAY I WILL GROW UP TO BE LIKE MY FATHER.

But this is A&A, not Post Secret. I'll get over it, like the other horrors in my life. Tonite I boggie with the boys!

...And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man ’n the moon.
’when you comin’ home? ’son,
I don’t know when. we’ll get together then.
You know we’ll have a good time then.’

I’ve long since retired, my son’s moved away.
I called him up just the other day.
’I’d like to see you, if you don’t mind.’
He said, ’I’d love to, dad, if I could find the time.
You see my new job’s a hassle and the hubby has the flu,
But it’s sure nice talkin’ to you, dad.
It’s been sure nice talkin’ to you.’
And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me,
He’d grown up really unlike me.
My boy was really freaky...

Ugly Kid Joe ~ Cat In The Cradle (Post Secret Remix)

Dear Mr. Soggy Potato

Its me, the guy you didnt notice but had a quick oogle at, at the gym yesterday. Tho it may look like I wouldn't have given you the time of day, I did notice you.

I noticed you stalking the boys by the showers before & after I finished my 20min shower. I noticed you following that pretty young thing like a dog in heat. I noticed you enjoying the view of the cutey as he stripped to his Calvin Kleins. I noticed you, you soggy potato.

But thats not the point of this letter. I fully support your right to be a horny towel-wrapped soggy potato eternally cruising the gym showers. What I do have a problem with tho, is your poor technique. You would think being a fossilized potato would give you the advantage of experience, but even a wannabe queen like me could see right thru your games.

Most potatoes have lots of eyes. But yours must be blocked by your layers of wrinkles & fat cos you were just gawking. Please get an eye-bra. Thats right, support to keep your frickin eyes from poppin out. Guy watching is a subtle art! damn you Mr Soggy Potato. Its like glass blowing or sumo wrestling, one wrong move and you can lose an eye. Please learn to be more discreet cos its sick. Use the mirrors or sumting. Oh whiles ya at it, get tha fuck out of my view, I havent had enuf of his CKs yet...

Disinterestedly Yours,
AJ ~ Bitch Queen of Everything

I see right through you
I know right through you
I feel right through you
I walk right through you

You took me for a joke
You took me for a child
You took a long hard look at my ass
And then played golf for a while
You shake is like a fish
You pat me on the head
You took me out to wine dine 69 me
But didn’t hear a damn word I said

Alanis Morissette ~ Right Through You

How Unsmurfy!

Here is a short one for you guys who arent into MeMes. Do you remember those fuzzy blue characters? Yeap. Smurfs. As far as I can remember Vanity Smurf was the first gay cartoon character that I can remember. He wore a pink flower in his cap & was constantly preening in the mirror....

"Oh how dreadfully unsmurfy! I could never wear that! It doesn't match my outfit"

"Smurfette! Oh smurfette! Does this flower make my face look fat?"

So after Vanity moved to New York, what ever happened to our lovable blue friends? Truth be told Unicef bombed them! Smurfette is dead & baby smurf is orphaned. Chill, its all for a good cause ok? Winks

La la la la la la,
la la la la la la,
(Gargamel: Oooo I hate smurfs! Ill get you,
Ill get all of you if its the last thing I ever do!
He he he he haaa!)
La la la la la la....
Smuf Song

Pieces Of Me ME Me me MEEEE!

Shigeki, the epitome of social etticate & everything good about Japan has tagged me. I could never refuse such a darling, so here it is!

Here are the rules to the tag.
1. Delve into your blog archive.
2. Find your 23rd post (or closest to).
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions. Ponder it for meaning, subtext or hidden agendas.
5. Tag five people to do the same.

The line is:~

Then I was cornered.

No no. I wasn't raped or anything like that. It was a salesman from the World Wide Fraud (not their real name) or rather their partner company. This line can be found in "How Do You Donate", in which I was pondered the problems of the world. These are troubled times. If I knew he wasn't doing it for charity, I would have been meaner. Do you realize there has been many natural disasters lately?

The meaning of the line is that this saleman, most prolly fresh out of college with his unkept hair and bad style thought I would make an easy target. As I attempted to walk by, he stood in my way. I don't take such agression lightly.

Hidden agenda~ From what I understand, some of these partners of charity organizations make a certain profit from the collections. Tho this may sound like taxing a church collection plate, I think its fair. Just their pitch needs work. Guilting people is horrid. It makes me question the rest of their ethics & how much money really goes to the pandas? No accusations, just oppinions!

I don't like to tag people but I will give ya 5 reasons why you should do it
1. This one is short compared to the others!
2. Its fun to read tru old posts.
3. Its like playing the lottery, you may get a nice line or not.
4. I'm asking you nicely.
5. There is no obligation.

Anyhoos, I've updated my links, please hint if I haven't linked your blog yet. I normally blog-jump so I may not have your link, tho I relish the read. What a shame, isnt it?

Stop right now, thank you very much,
I need somebody with the human touch,
Hey you always on the run,
Gotta slow it down baby, gotta think some.
Gotta keep it down honey, lay your back on the line
'Cause I don't have the money,
Don't be wasting your time..

Spice Girls ~ Stop (feat AJ)

Highlight "then I was cornered" for a deep color change!

AJ doesn't gawk like that

I'm used to being stared at.

Though I hoped its my inherent beauty, I highly suspect its my ambiguous racial background. But yesterday, this guy smiled, stared at me & almost stopped me in my tracks. Not because he was super gorgeous. AJ doesn't gawk like that. But coz he looked like an old buddy, a farkbuddy to be precise. HumHmm Hummm...

Many one night stands end up disasterous. But some of the guys you wanna keep on meeting coz they are genuinely horny yet nice. This guy was one such person. Intelligent, smart, straight acting & a skinhead.

Yeap. A Sarawakian skinhead. Not just the shaved head but the boots & the rest of the get-up. We had really good sex & conversations. He even let me stroke his shaved head, which was pretty cool. Those were lonely times and his company was always welcomed. No love, but certainly companionship. Humm.. humm...

One day, after a quick phone call, he moved & changed his number. Never did see him again. Eventhough I can barely remember what he looks like, its most prolly better that we parted that way. Still humming the same damn song since yesterday's encounter.

I wonder, was it really him?

Haven't we met?
You're some kind of beautiful stranger
You could be good for me
I've had the taste for danger

If I'm smart then I'll run away
But I'm not so I guess I'll stay
Heaven forbid
I'll take my chance on a beautiful stranger

Madonna ~ Beautiful Stranger

The colors should depict the Land Below The Breeze

Potato Queen Rice Queen? How Droll!

Eye candy at my office is scarce. But the surrounding "food stalls" make up for it. Here are some of the dishes i find near my office & oogle.

Lemang- Ironically this malay boy is selling pork rice for this aunty. If he likes pork, wait till he tries AJ (and AJ tries his lemang)!
(rice + coconut milk cooked in big bamboo)

Nasi kandar- This badass bangladeshi/indian dude works at the machanics down the street. Fit with curly locks, I would so eat him clean.
(banana leaf rice)

Futomaki- Japanese dude working at the newspaper down the block. A lil ol & a lil skinny but definately yummy. There is something about the way he smokes.
(Thick Sushi roll)

Baked Potato- White guy working at the same newspaper. Tall, thin & a lil camp. Cant wait to bump into him at the clubs...

Ubi Rebus- Works in the nearby bank, a lil daft looking but like all good kampung (village) products I'm sure he is built to last...
(Tapioca)

Nasi Briani- Nepalese dude in the supermarket. Of all the nepalese this one has the best features & is most shaggable.
(Butter & Spicy Rice)

Yes, there are many so many delights in life... But can only eat so much before you get sick!

I wanna taste ya (taste ya) take ya home wit me
You look so good
Good enough to eat
I wonder if i can peel your wrapper
If i can be your fantasy
Whats your flava
Tell me whats your flava

Craig David ~ Tell me what's your flava

Call from France: Inspiration or Envy?

Abu called from France last night.

Gay m'sian boy roaming the streets of Paris & quaint french villages?
Of course he is having the time of his life!

He reports: The weather: amazing, sights: amazing, men: amazing... yadda yadda yadda... You get the picture ( I certainly did!). I turned green with envy, then the rest of the colors of the rainbows before I quickly diverted my attention to a certain Geisha book. If i can't be in France shagging the boys, least I can be is happy for Abu. Happy Happy Happy! Damn Abu. Damn Duff. Damn Ed.... Damn all you M'sian boys livin out your dreams overseas. I wanna be next!

Yeap. Envy isnt a pretty thing but its inspirational...

He is having a time of his life! Being one of my most horridly honest and direct friends, I certainly feel the gap now that he is in France. He is most prolly one of the few people who really know how big a slut I really have been all these years... But I feel it even more now he is shagging way up the food chain i.e. lots of sex with lots of hot french men.

"So ya lost IT eh Abu? Over and over again I hope!" Nothing like making up for lost time.... Be a slut! Because there are worst things than being a slut, like a 40 year old sexually confused virgin.

Before he left he was like "there is so much i'm leaving behind here, its so hard to leave".

When he called he was like "I don't know why I didn't leave sooner!"

Truly I'm begining to feel restless. Like I need to spread my wings and fly the coop. Don't get me wrong, I love this blessed country, but I feel like I need a change. Some days, don't you feel like you could be more? do more? and feel more?

To be honest I'm totally overtly attracted to people with great aspirations. All my exs have left the country (even tho some came back) they all did it for long periods & some refuse to return. So have many of my friends. Damn, its no wonder I'm always bogged with "returning parties".

But back to the point that is, I make the best friends with people with great aspirations. And of all, Abu is greatest dreamer. He has had his french dreams since I knew him. Its most astonishing to see him spread his wings and fly! Considering what it has taken him to get there, all the obstacles to overcome, all the boundries he has leapt, all the sacrifices he has made, I really have no right to feel anything negative.

Deep, dark, multiply pierced & goth Abu.

In case you aren't one of those who are bothered to read back deep into my blog, one dramatic detail that has strengthened our friendship, is that, despite the fact I started dating Ruggy after Ruggy & Abu broke up, we have remained good friends. I'm really lucky that way. I have friends who in a simmilar situation, won't even talk to each other.

So despite all my envy & all that emotional baggage, I wanna thank Abu for always being true to himself & me. I have to be inspired to fly! Now, where should I go & what should I do?? Hmmm....

I don't care what my teacher says
I'm gonna be an european supermodel
And everyone is gonna dress like me
Wait and see
When I'm an european supermodel

I didn't eat yesterday
And I'm not going to eat today
And I'm not going to eat tomorrow
'Cuz I'm going to Europe to be a supermodel!

Letters To Cleo ~ I wanna be a supermodel (Inspire me NOW remix)

I'll only add the link to Abu's blog later less all you pervs start worshipping his site...

Intentional Slut~ Did you ever doubt me?

Shigeki The artistic IT savvy & ever so earnest blogger from Japan hinted that he wanted to know more about slutty AJ. Since he has met many of my requests, the weirdest of which involved erotic fungi, I will now endevour to comply!

Having blogged about accidental-slutting, its now time to talk about the intentional slut. With intent to jiggle hips, pout lips & bat those eyelids. Squeezes his own butt to make sure its bouncy enough to bounce balls off & tends to to throw more Come-Fuck-Me stares than beads at Mardigras.

You know me, I'm that cock-tease, you weren't that too sure about. The one who was too crazy when I was groping my bitches in the club, the one who did the sexy spin on the dance floor only to ruin it by acting too cool to look at you when I was guzzling my straberry margarhitas alone. Yes, if you don't have the guts to come to me, I doubt you could turn me on.

No~ I'm not a whore, he-cunt, bitch or snob. Neither am I a ho, over priced renta-boy or jaded hasbeen princess. Just a lil ol cock-tease. And I wear the title well. Make no mistake. The moment you dare approach, I'll make it worth your while. Even twinky trolls get bonus points for daring approach the enigma that is AJ.

Self educated in the sexual pleasures of men, AJ can use his tongue to tie knots with cherry stalks. The nipple whip? The tongue twirller? There are other tricks I could teach you, but shouldn't every boy have secrets?

Bizarre as it may sound. Thats was my clubbing attitude & damn I had fun. Never needed to go home with any men. Of late, I've become lifeless & attached. Simply put, I'm don't do clubs well. But for Shigeki, I brought out the intentional slut for one round at the local err.... supermarket.

Why the supermarket? Lots of Nepalese about and I needed to buy groceries. They are sort of like badly cloned Ruggys. Cute features but not exactly my delicious baby. Plus they can be such horny bitches.

So I turned on the charm. I worked the walk & fixed my eyes on the cutest one I could find. Beautiful complexion. Nice nose, eyes, lips. Arms a lil too long making him just a bit gorrilla-ish. Who was that that was so clearly chatting him up? a troll in semi drag?

He stopped talking to this troll that was chatting him up. He fixed his glance on me. I gave him a smirk. The corners of his lips lifted & he totally ignored the conversation he was having with the troll and fixed his eyes on my piercing stare. But from the corners of my eyes I could so see him rub the trolls waist like an invite. An informal invite.

An invite to a threesome with him? *yummy!*

But with that troll? *ugh!* I rather wank with razor blades!

But still , its good to know I still got it. Window shopping aside, I still have my standards & I still have my Ruggy. Who needs those badly cloned Ruggies when I have the real McCoy?

Young velvet porcelain boy
Devour me when you're with me
Blue wish window seas
Speak delicious fires

I'm your candy perfume boy
Your candy perfume boy

Moist warm desire
Fly to me

I'm your candy perfume boy
Your candy perfume boy
I'm your candy perfume boy
Candy, candy...

Madonna ~ Candy Perfume Boy (AJ goes grocery shopping remix)

What do you drink when you are out clubbing?

Ain't Got a Cat Man!

Not in the best of conditions still, so let me just share my favourite blond joke.

Once upon a time a blonde girl, named Britney became sick & tired of blond jokes. Her supposed friends~ Mariah, Beyonce & Alicia (Wannabe blondes)always made fun of her straw colored locks.

What do you call a blonde in an institute of higher learning?
A visitor!

What do you call an intelligent blond?
A labrador...

Why did the blonde girl's belly button ache?
Because she had a blonde boy friend.

Poor Britney could only retaliate with a~
Whats Blue black, red & muddy all over?
A brunette that has been beaten up & thrown into a ditch for telling one too many blond jokes...

So Britney dyed her hair red, just so the jokes would end. And they did! As Britney was driving home, she had to stop as there was a goatherd & his goats crossing the road.

The goatherd said "thank you young lady for stopping for my goats to cross?"

Britney said "No problem! Say that an awful lot of goats you have there! Tell you what, if I can guess how many goats you have, can I take one to keep my pussy entertained?"

The goatherd was up to the challenge of this booby brunette "Sure, how many do you think there are?"

Britney said "There are exactly 999 goats!"

The goatherd "Why that was amazing, please choose any goat you like"

So Britney delighted that she could get a goat, went looking for the most virile goat she could find, put it in the back seat of her car & started to drive off.

"Excuse me young lady" said the goatherd.

"Yes, Mr. Goatherd?" said Britney.

"If I can guess the real colour of your hair, can I have my goat-herding-dog back? Besides, he isnt too kindly on cats..." said the goat herd.

Cats? Ain't got a cat, man!

Note: During the production of this awful joke, there was no intention to insult blondes, brunettes, redheads, goat-herding dogs, goatherds or pussy cats.

7th Meme? Oh Please, so Not the drama ok?

Dear Blogverts, AJ is sick today, so AJ actually have lots of time to contenplate this MEme bestowed upon me by Asmadi & Jupiter~ The medication is making me loopier than usual so please don't scrutinize details, k?

seven things i plan to do before i die:

1. do a tour of europe
2. go see the pyramid in eygpt
3. visit certain citys in the usa
4. have sex with a latin man (seriously, a latin lover? must try)
5. ride a super crazy roller coaster!
6. bungee jump at a beautiful location
7. ski diving
   

seven things I could do (as in right now cos I have time to resssst):

1. continue blogging! so many blogs, so little time!
2. call ruggy: my boyfriend and i seem to be getting on each others nerves a little too much, but we seem to be talking things out nicely.
3. watch corpse bride again. We watched it last nite, freaky-wonderful! I loved it but was some what too tired to watch it properly...
4. watch tv! cartoons, axn, whatever! I haven't had much time to watch tv of late.
5. eat lunch. i got some nice mix rice earlier and i bet the sweet sour pork is delish! Pork pork I love my pork,
6. sleep. who needs that :P
7. take a bath. feelin a lil sticky-stinky...

seven celebrity crushes:

1. Carl Ng! Damn you wingedman! ur pictures made him look like a greek statue- and i'm not talking about the cheap plaster of "cherub peeing" paris crap kind!
2. Brad Pitt - when he was younger. "Meet Joe Black" Era. He was really yummy then.
3. Aston Kulcher -the younger one too. Now somehow he looks a little too non boyish for my taste.
4. Jessica Alba - i saw her stretching in this series of pics on this amazing site, and I found my self sexually confused for awhile. her body is so unreal!
5. Mark Magrath - sugar ray, he used to be super hot but now, his appeal is waining.
6. Angelina Jolie - I tell you this woman can give me goose bumps!
7. Takeshi Kaneshiro! His features are the bomb!

seven often repeated words (in no particular order):

1. Goat & Baa (some how my associating myself with a goat has lead me use these words to taunt him)
2. Coo (don't ask, just don't)
3. Really? OMG!!
4. What the fark? or WTF? ( I just lurve this one)
5. I just lurve..!
6. NooOOooOOOoooo~
7. XXX this, XXX that, who is this XXX? I'm sick of this XXX person! (drama is in my blood)
8. Akan Datang (Coming Soon) to my limited vocab~ Oh Please, so Not the drama ok?

seven physical traits I look for in the same sex:

1. Sexy kissing lips - rosy red, juicy and makes you wanna spend hours kissing them
2. Expressive eyes - Not just big eyes, some people have eyes that smile with their faces
3. Cute Nose - Not an absolut must but I can be so facinated my noses.
4. Nice skin tone - Fair, dark, very dark etc. Not sure how to define it, but some skin tones just turn me off...
5. Smiles - A smile is not just a pair of lips. Its how they work it!
6. nipples! When its too dark to see, I spend extra time lookin for these, especially on hairy men.
7. a nice butt. need I elaborate?

seven tags go to (changing it to 7 reasons you should take this to your blog):

1. Because if you havent already, i'm asking you nicely to.... phuuuulleeeeeease?
2. the 7 often repeated words/phrases part is so cool!
3. its a good future reference when ya read back later, like who you found hot or not
4. Because if you do, the magic 7 fairy will bless you and you will win the 7 digit lottery
5. you get to con 7 people to reveal 245 freaky facts about themselves at the end of it
6. Because I'm asking you nicely again... pweety phuuuulleeeeeease with a cherry on top?
7. I've given you 7 good reasons to do it!

(the 7th really is the most inane reason) Grin

No color play today, your majesties! I need my beauty rest! Sweet dreams~

Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
I travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody's lookin' for somethin'.

Eurythamics

Crap!

• What mood am I in today?
• How was my tuesday?
• How will the rest of my week be?
• What do I think of my JOB?
  

One word breaks the code of silence
Silence tells me all I need to know.
One word, One word,
Tells me everything I need to know.

One world, driven into madness
Madness driven by the depths below
One word, One word,
Tells me everything I need to know.

It's not the way that I want it,
It's just the way that I need it
Day after day

It's not the way that I want it,
It's just the way that I DONT need it
Day after day

One lie tells a thousand stories,
The greatest stories that were ever told
One lie, One lie,
Tells the greatest stories ever told...

Kelly Osbourne ~ One Word (Crap is Bountiful remix)

Pro-Missing Monday

Contrary to mainstream belief, most mondays usually work out pretty, well atleast for me. Here are some random reasons why this Monday is start out superbly well:~

1. My Missing Post: Receeding Airplay was recovered! Don't ask me how. Somethings really aren't to be questioned, like what goes into KFC nuggets or if humans evolved from apes, where is the missing link?
2. One of my pervs came out from behind the peephole! *Not* that I have ever used the abundant peepholes in Sunway Pyramid, but I have never known the joy of a lurker revealing him/herself before. Its fairly uplifting, i must say to get to know who reads my blog. *Hint* *Hint*
3. I had RM50 more in my wallet than I actually tot I did. For all of you who sneer at this, at this deplorable financial point in my life, finding RM5 or even RM0.50 would be reason enough to celebrate!
4. Today most of the workmates on my floor are either on leave, MC or emergency leave! Tho I wish them all well, its so much easier to blog, I mean work without distractions.
5. Free chocolate! My workmate from another floor decided to give me 2 small chocolate bars which I can eat for breakfast without feeling too much guilt.
6. Dinner date with the Rugster. No matter how bad monday goes, I know it will end great becos I reserve Monday nights for Ruggy. We usually watch a VCD or something whiles we have dinner. He may get on my nerves at times, but atleast he is here.
7. World Menopause Day is over!On the 1st Oct, this special day was commemerated with a conference in KL city. This may sound mean but I hated all the extra work to do because of it. Now its over, I don't have to think about shrivelled tit bits for awhile. (Sorry ladies, shrivelled genetalia of all genders/ages just isn't my thing)
8. My friends seem to be doing well, at least those who left the country recently. Mikey seems to be finding his footing in the US, Abu who left for France sent me a mail looking for someone to show a really cute french boy about KL (the picture was hot) & Duff I will call later today. Duff, dare I say, with his drive, will sooner or later get all he wants.
9. The day after dental surgery doesn't hurt. Tho short of surgery, I had some major dental work on sunday. Tho it was my dharling goat sticking his hoofs in my mouth, I still had major anxiety issues about the whole affair. Now its over & doesnt hurt, I can smile like I mean it!
10. I can continue to read some amazing blogs after I do some real work. Considering how bogged down with work I have been & will be, every small burst of entertainment is a blessing.

But truly this Monday is blessed, because I dare it to be. Now, its your move!

Welcome to existence
Everyone’s here
Everybody’s watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next

I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here...

Switchfoot~ Dare You to Move

Short & Sweet

Yay! Finally Got my broadband connection workin!
Never thought I would say this but the people at TMNET are such darlings for putting up with my IT-unsavvyness.

In totally unrelated events, my last post dissapeared! Most prolly cos I used too much funny formating and more colors than really should be for one post. Oh well, I will never get that post back! Maybe its at some better place now? I really don't know...

I step off the train
I'm walking down your street again
And past your door
But you don't live there anymore
It's years since you've been there
And now you've disappeared somewhere
like outer space
You've found some better place

Everything But The Girl ~ Missing