Monday, October 10, 2005

Call from France: Inspiration or Envy?

Abu called from France last night.

Gay m'sian boy roaming the streets of Paris & quaint french villages?
Of course he is having the time of his life!

He reports: The weather: amazing, sights: amazing, men: amazing... yadda yadda yadda... You get the picture ( I certainly did!). I turned green with envy, then the rest of the colors of the rainbows before I quickly diverted my attention to a certain Geisha book. If i can't be in France shagging the boys, least I can be is happy for Abu. Happy Happy Happy! Damn Abu. Damn Duff. Damn Ed.... Damn all you M'sian boys livin out your dreams overseas. I wanna be next!

Yeap. Envy isnt a pretty thing but its inspirational...

He is having a time of his life! Being one of my most horridly honest and direct friends, I certainly feel the gap now that he is in France. He is most prolly one of the few people who really know how big a slut I really have been all these years... But I feel it even more now he is shagging way up the food chain i.e. lots of sex with lots of hot french men.

"So ya lost IT eh Abu? Over and over again I hope!" Nothing like making up for lost time.... Be a slut! Because there are worst things than being a slut, like a 40 year old sexually confused virgin.

Before he left he was like "there is so much i'm leaving behind here, its so hard to leave".

When he called he was like "I don't know why I didn't leave sooner!"

Truly I'm begining to feel restless. Like I need to spread my wings and fly the coop. Don't get me wrong, I love this blessed country, but I feel like I need a change. Some days, don't you feel like you could be more? do more? and feel more?

To be honest I'm totally overtly attracted to people with great aspirations. All my exs have left the country (even tho some came back) they all did it for long periods & some refuse to return. So have many of my friends. Damn, its no wonder I'm always bogged with "returning parties".

But back to the point that is, I make the best friends with people with great aspirations. And of all, Abu is greatest dreamer. He has had his french dreams since I knew him. Its most astonishing to see him spread his wings and fly! Considering what it has taken him to get there, all the obstacles to overcome, all the boundries he has leapt, all the sacrifices he has made, I really have no right to feel anything negative.

Deep, dark, multiply pierced & goth Abu.

In case you aren't one of those who are bothered to read back deep into my blog, one dramatic detail that has strengthened our friendship, is that, despite the fact I started dating Ruggy after Ruggy & Abu broke up, we have remained good friends. I'm really lucky that way. I have friends who in a simmilar situation, won't even talk to each other.

So despite all my envy & all that emotional baggage, I wanna thank Abu for always being true to himself & me. I have to be inspired to fly! Now, where should I go & what should I do?? Hmmm....


I don't care what my teacher says
I'm gonna be an european supermodel
And everyone is gonna dress like me
Wait and see
When I'm an european supermodel

I didn't eat yesterday
And I'm not going to eat today
And I'm not going to eat tomorrow
'Cuz I'm going to Europe to be a supermodel!

Letters To Cleo ~ I wanna be a supermodel (Inspire me NOW remix)
I'll only add the link to Abu's blog later less all you pervs start worshipping his site...

9 Comments:

Blogger Dildos said...

well abu has a big heart indeed.

I haven't been thoroughly tested yet. Dunno, how far i will stretch.

But one guy is definitely off limits. Guess, u know who?

11:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's so international. Considering my gay friends haven't left the country and seems like they would stay here. Leaving for somewhere to change your life is really great! I had an opportunity but I didn't take it. Oh well.

Eastern Europe should be your destination!! I mean things are not expensive yet and boys are oh my... :-)

1:23 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

wjee: hon, i never intended to fall in love with ruggy... Simple as that. And relatiohships are so unpredictable that I rather hold on to my friends...

shigeki: OH My! Just you and me babe, we will hit eastern europe & treat the boys to some exotic cuisine!

4:32 PM  
Blogger Kenji said...

Lol i share your envy there! I'm stuck here for awhile myself! >.<

Then again... i'm heading to Canada in a few years to come... So... ^^;

But anyway, Abu sounds like a great guy! Never have the chance to know him... but sounds like a true friend indeed! ;)

6:44 PM  
Blogger canardbidon said...

There are hot men every where in the world!! French men are not that great - mostly short & balding!! Though of course the cute ones are oh so ooooh-la-la mama mia mon dieu!!

I guess life for gay men is better in most places out of malaysia though, sad to say...

9:03 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Chris: Take me with you! I don't eat much and can sleep in suitcases.. Pleeeeeeeeeeeease?

Canardbidon: Isn't that the sad truth. But you see, Abu is super french fry queen so he is happy there!

9:48 AM  
Blogger Jay said...

I'm going to be uncharacteristically serious for a moment. AJ hunny, where there's a will, there's a way. If you really want to spread those wings/legs, you have options. Save up for a course, come for a working holiday, find a sugardaddy. You're still young (OK, that was SO patronising, but true) and now's the best time to do something about it. Don't start dreaming when you're 45 and bogged down with mortgages and jobs you can't leave behind. Come to London or move to Australia or give the US a try. Even if nothing permanent comes from it, you can always go back to Malaysia, with a million stories to tell.

10:31 AM  
Blogger Kenji said...

aj:
Lol seriously... but that's not till another 4 years to come! And i will be... 24 by then! >.<

5:56 PM  
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9:13 PM  

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