AJ On The Evening News

It maybe hard to believe judging by how flamboyantly I write, but I'm not out to some of my closest friends. You may imagine me lounging in my pink-laced nightie, avocado-cum mask rejuvenating my skin, sipping Cosmos as I tap away on the keyboard, but that’s far from the truth. I only wear lacy RED nighties....

Whiles I whine about my inability to confront/confess, here are some pictures from punchstock (with watermark and all) I found irresistably hot. I'm sure you will too.

But moving back to the problem at hand, I’ve been trying to inform one of my dearest friends of my alternative sexuality since January. I’ve managed to come out to some of my other friends with very little problems, but when it comes to Pinks, it isn’t that easy. We have known each other since university & it has been about 5 great years now.

Pinks is one of those hyper bubbly & talkative petite little girls who should not be allowed anywhere near alcohol. Pinks doesn’t really fancy the colour pink but she does love brownies & shoes. I would further elaborate her never ending quest for shoes (oh look I just did) but aren’t most girls on never ending quests for the perfect shoes?

We have gone out shopping together countless times & well, I don’t see the end to the good times. Its just I wonder how she will see me once I tell her the big not-so-secret. Will she scream & runaway waving her hands in the air? Or will she introduce me to some doe-eyed naturally smooth Chinese twink?

Coming out to her is proving extremely difficult, but I don’t know why. We connect on a strange level & we talk with the greatest of easy. Yet, I still haven’t found the right opportunity to brief her on the news that I’ve told our other friends. Yeah, it sucks to be left out & I don’t want to do that to her. Should I like continue to wait for the perfect opportunity or just drop the bomb on her with a casual, “Oh by the way, I’m gay…”?

Now everytime I see you
I pretend I'm fine
When I wanna reach out to you
But I turn and I walk and I let it ride
Pinks, I must confess
I like men the best
We were bigger than anything
Remember us at our best
And don't forget about...

AJ Feat Mariah Carey~ Don't Forget About Us

Abducted. Returned. Changed.

Although some things are worth the wait, there are times when I have just let lose, over-indulged & binged on all sorts of things. Last weekend, with the help of excessive alcohol, I managed to be crowned the Queen of Bolderdash (Bolderdash being a board game). But in retrospect, there was a period of time where I can't remember what I was saying. Or rather who I was insulting, and how evily I was bad mouthing my victims. AJ done bad... Again!

"I *REALLY* don't remember doing so many people...".

Its the first time its happened in a long while (try half a decade) and I guess its time to a bit more careful & watch my drinking. *Evil Grin* But it is fun to lose control sometimes....

"Are you my Mommy?"

"Cousin Shawn, 'sure is nice of you to take me camping here at Brokeback Mountain..."

With my recently aquired 4400 Season 1 & 2 dvd box set, I will be spending many a late nite in the world of alien abductee returnees ala The X-Files. And to mark this joyous occasion here are 44 things/ways I have gone overboard with at one time or other.


1. Porn- I've collected hundreds of Jpegs, mpegs, vcds & dvds. But I'm actually bored with Chad, Lucas, Kevin & all their friends.... Porn overdose-la

2. KFC - can anyone honestly say they have never had one drum stick too many?

3. Chocolate

4. Man on man Relationships - Can you say infatuation junkie?

5. Teasing friends

6. Straberries- I once attempted to eat 100 straberries. It wasn't easy.

7. Dancing in the rain

8. Strawberry, lychee, & frozen Margaritas

9. Vodka limes

10. Tequilla pops

11. Tequilla shots

12. Okay, all sorts of alcohols

13. Lazying on the beach

14. Hiking through the hills

15. Digging my nose

16. Sex- It was bound to be mentioned sooner or later...

17. Sex with cute men- Simply addictive

18. Sex with hot men- The desire still burns in me

19. Sex with sexy men- I could spend hours tossing in bed with the right guy

20. Sex with several sexy men- Its the kinky thing to do!

21. Donuts

22. Ice cream- Desert buffets were created by the devil & catered to gay men

23. Funny Smses

24. Post cards

25. Sleeping

26. Lab apparatus- When I was studying, I collected some of the cuuutest test tubes, beakers & conical flasks..

27. Mountain Bikes

28. Fishing

29. Rabbits- There was a time when I had dozens of cotton tails

30. Books- Story books, Comic books & Picture Books

31. Small cute Wood, Metal, Glass, Clay, Stone Items & Seashells - I used to pick up nice looking stones where ever I was. Just because I liked them

32. Shopping - Be it groceries, clothes, small useless items or even CDs

33. MP3s

34. French fries

35. Goats & various barnyard animals- Did you expect less?

36. Cacti

37. Flip flops

38. Anime & TV series

39. Durians, jackfruits & watermellons

40. Counting RM1 notes- I once had to count over 2000 notes, and it was fun but I'll never do it again!

41. Making pancakes

42. Illegal substances

43.Dancing on the podium

44. Blogging - Its the worst obsession of all....

Oh chariot your golden waves
are walking down upon this face
Oh chariot I'm singing out loud
To guide me
Give me your
Strength
Gavin Degraw~ Chariot

What goes in....

Must Come Out!

Well most of the time. Spent last night in KL's most common place pretentious bar doing the utmost pretentious things. Mix several kinds of alcohol & I'm a circus. Considering how smart I act the rest of the week, its okay to be the dumb blonde on the weekends. The problem is how to balance looking fabulous at the office whiles worshipping the porcelain god every half hour....

Nobody told me nasi lemak, beer, vodka, whiskey & mee goreng weren't meant to be mixed like that. As if I didn't know. Oh well at least I'm working hard at doing nothing on a Saturday morning. Heh. If only I could surf porn, instead of this...

Baby if I arch my back,

Stick out my cute butt like crap,

Maybe if I act like that,

that guy will take me back,

What a cheep call girl,

I wanna be a stupid girl,

Baby if I act like that,

flipping my blonde hair back,

Push up my bra like that,

Twirlin' my curly lock like that,

Throwin' slutty slutty stares flat,

I wanna be a stupid girl !

AJ Feat Pink~ Stupid Girls

The 3 Date Rule & Other Useless Notions About Sex

Everybody wants sex but we can't all the time. Often, we are expected to wait atleast to the third date before we reach for the other guy's trouser snake & make it angry. Why? Because its not polite to exchange bodily fluids with someone, until you can guarantee you won't shout someone else's name. Billy, Bob or whatever...

No, seriously. There have been times where I've done the dirty with a guy on the first date but usually, its more to do with just needing to get off, rather than attraction or love. Men are sexual creatures & we have eyelids so we don't have to see what or who we are doing. And unless its really good, we will never go back for seconds or even remember names.

But if you really are into a guy, its really recommended to wait to the third date before you play with the joy stick. This does not mean you can't snog/ lick/ touch/ nibble/ tweek/ rub/ hold/ caresss/ stroke/ massage or simply play with any other part of the willing party. Just stay away from the willy! This is called cock teasing & is vital to hold a guys attention. The moment your hand slips down there, all the blood rushes away to the meatstick & away from the brain. Whatever witty conversation you may have been having becomes a series of Uh-yeah.... more... Lower oh I mean Lover...No... If you say so...

But if its an itch you are looking to scratch, I highly recommend the NO KISSING ON THE MOUTH CLAUSE.

Simply because if he kisses badly or has bad breath, you won't be able to get him to stop, without ending the whole thing. And even if you enjoy the kisses alot, chances are he has some horrible disease that he won't tell you about. SHAME ON YOU if you believe that "its just a ulcer".

Above all, always BE SAFE. Its not just money & magic beans that are at stake. Men will say anything to get into your pants, when blood rushes away from their brain. Even if you think you can trust your loverboy, don't be silly enough to trust whoever he has trusted. Because you never know who he may have trusted...

All that being said, there aren't any real rules about sex & you, like me, should get off your ass and go look for some loving -la....

Ohh boy you looking like you like what you see
Won't you come over check up on it,
I'm gone let you work up on it
Ladies let em check up on it,
watch it while he check up on it
Dip it, pop it,
work it, stop it,
check on me tonight
Dip it, pop it,
work it, stop it,
check on me tonight
I can tell you wanna taste it, but I'm gone make you chase it
You got to be patient,
I like my men patient
More patience,
you take might get you more places
You can't be abrasive,
has to know to pace it
If I let you get up on it,
you gotta make a promise
That you gone put it on me,
like no ones put it on me
Don't bore me,
just show me,
all men talk but don't please
I can be a tease,
but I really wanna please you

Beyonce ~ Check On It

Avoiding Parental Corners

There's a coldness in the air but i don't care.... *hum hum hum*

I've been carrying this tune in my head for the longest time. Even if I look lost all the time & bump into things, it doesnt matter cos I feel happy on the inside. Even when faced with the worst question of all "SO WHEN ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED?"

For f*cks sake! I hate being asked this by my father & his friends. On Monday the conversation turned a bit hostile....

"So why don't you ever introduce me to any of your girlfriends?"
"Why should I? Don't you have enough without having to resort to stealing?"
"I'm not happy. I want a granddaughter.."
"So I'm suppose to get married & have whiney brats just because you aren't happy? "
"But you haven't introduced me to any of your girlfriends. Not since *Insert name of sexy European Blonde"
"There is a perfectly good reason to that...."
"Don't tell me I didn't bring you up right..."
"Did you? Are you sure?"

Damn I was pissed off & I'd made sure he knew it. My life is my life & he can't force me into any corners. Sure I tell a tall tale or two but I've never brought anyone to meet them. Not because I can't, not because I don't want to, but because they are a f*cking bunch of freaks & should be locked up. My father honestly believes there is nothing wrong in telling total strangers (women included) that all women are evil money grabbing cunts.

Then there is the "homosexuals are sick weak perverts" talk that I have to bear & shrug off. Sometimes I wonder what makes people so scared of something they don't understand, to the point where they have to belittle others to get their rise. I almost shouted "well dad, your son is a cock sucking fag & its thanks to your wonderful genetics/upbring."

But I didn't. After awhile I wasn't even listening because really, in my mind I was still at the rave watching the sweat roll down the chests of the many cute guys. Unlike Legolas who recently built up the courage to tell his family of his sexuality, I will never have "the talk" with my family. Sure there are families open enough to embrace their son's difference like Mikey & his super hot but straight brother. But why should I? My sister can clearly guess it without me having to say a word. So like most situations that I hate but have to get through, I just grin & slip into my own little world. Its easier to ignore the bad things I can't change. I refuse to waste my effort or time. I'm too fabulous for that shit...

There's a coldness in the air
but i don't care....
(Embrace me...surround me)

Travelling somewhere
could be anywhere
there's a coldness in the air
but i don't care
we drift deeper
life goes on
we drift deeper
into the sound

(Embrace me...surround me.. as the rush..)

Travelling somewhere
could be anywhere
there's a coldness in the air
yeah but i don't care
we drift deeper into the song
life goes on
we drift deeper into the sound
feeling strong

so bring it on so bring it onnnn
we drift deeper into the song
life goes on
we drift deeper into the sound
feeling strong
so bring it on so bring it onnnn
we drift deeper........

we drift deeper life goes on
we drift deeper drift deeper
we drift deeper into the song
life goes on
we drift deeper into the sound
feeling strong
so bring it on so bring it onnnn
we drift deeper into the song
life goes on
we drift deeper into the sound
feeling strong
so bring it on so bring it onnnn

embrace me ...
surround me...
as the rush comes
as the rush comes
as the rush comes
as the rush comes
as the rush comes
as the rush comes
as the rush comes
as the rush comes
as the rush comes
as the rush comes
as the rush comes
as the rush comes...

Motorcycle ~ As The Rush Comes

Next Phase: AJ @ Tiesto ft Jes Rave

The short of it is:~

"Fuck Yeah Man!"
"Holly Shit I Love This Song!"
"Of Fuck Fuck Fuck! Its Jes Brieden! I So Fucking Wanted To Fucking See Her Sing Live!!"
"Your Friends Are Tripping Balls & So Am I!"
"You Okay? Chill Boy! Relax!"

The long version goes like~

It was mind blowing. I was raving mad, but so was almost everyone else. Sure there were small dramas but I haven't enjoyed myself like that since 2000! There's Me. The Music. The Man. Total Mania.

It started a lil shaky with lots of Vodka Mandrin & a lil parking trouble. But once I got out of the car and walked across the grass with the others, I felt like the music was calling me.

Damn right it was calling me! One of the first tunes I recognized was Markus Shultz ~ Without You Near. It sent a shiver down my spine. Its sort of meaningful to me because it was a part of what I shared with Ruggy. But I totally could enjoy it without any nagging pain. I was totally in my own world even when waiting for some missing group members to turn up.

We decided to go in ahead. No way we were waiting for stragglers. We got thru the gates without a hitch & proceeded to mingle with the freakishly dressed crowds. Some grasshoppers (skinny boys & girls with huge rounds shades) had assembled here & there. The cockatoos (Those with mowhawks or variations of the hair style with bright coloured clothes) were a plenty. Many were strutting their stuff & bobbing thier heads to the beat. The JKR (The guys dressed in workmen pants with reflective stickers) were at work, kicking up a storm. The hardcore ravers, the semi-nudists, the rastas, the scene queens, the strong lesbian brothers, the preppers, the skin heads & even the usual skank hos were in full force.

And there were the more casually dressed or dressed to kill. But because the squating skank hos had tits falling off their laps & the semi nudists had nibble-worthy-nips, I was constantly distracted.

Tiesto's line up began with a bang. Well several bangs. Tho I swear some of the Scene Queens would have like to have been shagging in the bushes, the bangs came mostly from the fireworks, the light show & Tiesto. The man did not dissapoint. He delivered and gave something extra.

He brought Jes Brieden along to actually preform live. If you ever hear her haunting voice on tracks like Waterfall (which she performed), Inocente or Around You, you would be feel haunted. Jes Brieden is a superb vocalist & I used to debate with others if she really could do the pitch or was it digitally altered. The seductive sound of her voice enchanted as she delivered every note on key.

For her second bit she did some crowd lifting. When she asked the crowd "Do any of you know this song? I haven't sung it in Malaysia Before..."

I wanted her to know I've listen to that very song atleast once a week. I wanted her that she was the heated topic of debate for Ruggy & I many a time. Her voice in the colaboration that is Motorcycle (with Gabriel & Dresden) spun the latice that is As The Rush Comes. To put it all in focus, I felt just like how a disco diva would have felt if he was to be dancing to Madonna singing Hung Up in a disco filled with cute studs. I went insane.

I did some dancing & raving like I havent done in a while. I was so pumped by the music in my chest that I danced with an opened bottle of warm beer in my back pants pocket. It tasted like shit & it oozed down my socks when I danced but I couldnt be fucked. I drank all I could, maybe even a bit more.

I spent and enjoyed so much time alone with myself like never before. I didn't need anyone but myself & Tiesto. But even so I knew friends were always close by. Not even once, I did not try to pick anyone up cos I didn't want to. I was where I wanted to be.

But I was rowdy fun loving to everyone. Nobody made me a Bitch Pole (someone to rest on). I was vocal, bitchy & bizzarre. I smoked a shitload of fags but the 3 fag free days to heal my cough had kept my throat strong. (But I'm not advocating smokes. All fags are bad, except the cock sucking ones.)

I, like the thousands others there were happy. There were times that I swear I could almost feel the the happy vibes of others passing thru me, engulfing the crowd. The rippples of every happy raver multiplying as we each added more into the energy. Damn it felt almost spiritual.

Even though I could have stayed till dawn, I could tell the others were ready to leave. As I left I felt happy & confident that better things were yet to come. I did feel like sharing my joy with Ruggy but I didnt need do. It would have been great to have him there cos I know how much he loves Tiesto. But it was just as well I didnt need him there.

When I got back, I ate a lil & slept a lil. By nine I was ready for brunch with my dear goat, duff, wjee & will. After that, some of us hit the gym & I spent time burning the extra calories off. Even during coffee after that, I stil had Tiesto in my head, and I still do. How much longer will it last, I don't need to know. I don't care.

I surface from the haze
i see the real reasons why
I'm so over my head
it seems
unclear mistakes it's hold
our whole world is gonna break
it's crumbling so easily

but you are the only one i want you to know
who will get under my skin
so if i dare to try, i dare ..
i'll prove to you it's not a waste
and this is not our last goodbye

those other thrills
cause i've got a better place to go
been out of my head, you'll see
i wanna take a taste
in this old violent light's chambers
they're burning me like gasoline

but you are the only one i need you to know
you know i'm always there
so if i dare to try, i dare to try
i'll prove to you it's not a waste
and this is not our last goodbye

i see a rainbow bleeding out of the sun
and i feel my adrenaline before it's already begun
and i tried to tell you but you've not listened
but we know...it all pours out of me

like a waterfall
like a waterfall
it all pours out of me ...

Solarstone and Jes Brieden - Like A Waterfall

Super hyper mega elevated AJ

Warning: Highly cryptic post.

Yay! The day has finally arrived and I'm super psyched! Between Tiesto, my perfect outfit, my stash of vodka, my trippy meds & someone else driving, I'm so gonna enjoy tonite!

Tiesto is like a superb DJ when it comes to his own stuff or when he remixes other peoples stuff. Damn I dare say he is the best thing that Holland has ever given to the world (Even if tulips, windmills, clogs, weed cafes & their pornstars with pimply butts arent all that bad either). If he was gay, I'd so do him. Maybe not. Oh wait YES I WILL!

My perfect outfit is like the perfect outfit repeated many times. I'm going as a circa 2000 punk-raver (I dress the part when I'm raving). Back then goth metal studs, layer grunge & raving comfort emerged and I so fell in love with the style. With my shiny black pants & out rageously punked hair I strutted my stuff & partied with the pretties for hours at airports & carparks. Sure there weren't that many parties, but those I went to, I enjoyed a whole hell of a f*cking lot.

My stash of Vodka is stocked for flavour. Mandrin, Citrus, Vanilla & Currant. These are the perfect shots as they don't leave such a nasty taste in your mouth like some whiskeys, gins or tequillas. When distilled properly, vodka doesn't leave as much as of a hang over, when compared to other alcohols. And in the undesirable event that I may puke, the smell won't be as bad as other other alcohols. Hip Hip Hooray for Absolut!!!

My trippy meds are totally blowing my mind! Rather than drowsy, what the doctor gave me is making me extra loopy. Its nice to be loopy once in a while. My doctor is the best!

JT is driving. This allows me to like lay back and enjoy the ride. The tickets are with me & we are going in Sweedish style. I don't care what anyone says, Volvo has learnt to build a pretty cool car & plus, its super safe.

All the fun stuff aside, raves like music festivals & concerts can be dangerous. Definetely not for the faint hearted to face. But if I don't make it back alive, just know I went out with a bang.. Heh! Yes, I'm still AJ The Drama Queen Who Never Claimed To Be Innocent Or New. I dont have to-la, not at my age.

You can't see my eyes
You can't see my eyes
They don't see yours
Hear me when I say
I don't mind at all

It's the rain that I hear coming
Not a stranger or a ghost
It's the quiet of a storm approaching
That I fear the most
It's the pain that I hear coming
The slightest crystal tear, drops to the ground
In silence, when my love is near.
Darling, when did you fall? When was it over?
Darling when? When did you fall? When was it over?

It's marching through my door now
The stony cold of lonesome
A bell tolls for my heart and then my lonesome song begins
It's marching through my door now
The stony cold of lonesome
A bell tolls for my heart and now my lonesome song begins

Darling, when did you cry? I couldn't hear you
Darling when? When did you cry? I couldn't hear you

I suppose it is the price of falling in love
I suppose it is the price of falling in love

It's the rain that I hear coming
Not a stranger, not a ghost
Of the quiet of a storm approaching
That i fear the most
It's the pain that i hear coming

The slightest crystal tear drops to the ground
In silence when my love is near
It's marching through my door now the stony cold of lonesome
A bell tolls for my heart and now my lonesome song will end

Darling when did we fall? When was it over?
Darling when? When did we fall? When was it over?

I suppose it is the price of falling in love.
I fear that it's the price of falling in love

Delirium ~ Inocente (Tiesto Remix)

AJ Turns 25 Again....

Ahhem... Happy Birthday To ME ME ME ME ME ME!!!

It looks like a good day. Work mates buying me Japanese lunch & my goat friend is coming over with soupy noodles & a strawberry sundae. Sure my initial plan involved eating a whole baked cheese cake by myself but its not gonna happen with my nose oozing like a teenage lesbian in the girls locker room, my throat more worn than my ass after cycling & my coughs more vivid & more frequent than my dirty thoughts of naked men.

Yeap, i'm sick. But I do hope to be better in time for Saturday's Tiesto Rave! Because if I'm not, I'm going there sick anyway!

Its ridiculous that I can fall sick! Everyday, I eat a whole host of health supplements (either given to me by my employers or bought with my employee discount) that are supposed to keep me strong and healthy! Baaah! I say! Baah!
The list goes something like:~

5 Wheat Grass Tablets
2 Vitamin C tablets
2 Probiotic Bacteria Capsules
1 Spirulina + Other Blue Green Algae Capsule
1 Detoxifying Herbs Capsule
1 Male Horniness Enhancing Herbs Capsule
1 Anti Cholesterol Herbs Capsule
1 Halibut Liver Oil Softgel
1 Vitamin E Softgel
1/2 Super Mega Extra Strong Multi Vitamin & Mineral Tablet

And still here I am, in the office, with used tissues overflowing the waste basket. Dammit! On other days I dont mind falling sick but not today! Not my birthday! And not during the week of the rave! Oh well, atleast I get to be grouchy & needy. And since I can't be prosecuted today, let me just say I broke my sex sabatical about 3 weeks ago. Yeah those male horniness enhancing herbs were effective.

You can travel the world
But you can't run away
From the person you are in your heart
You can be who you want to be
Make us believe in you
Keep all your light in the dark
If you're searchin for truth
You must look in the mirror
And make sense of what you can see
Just be
Just be

They say learning to love yourself
Is the first step
That you take when you want to be real
Flying on planes to exotic locations
Won't teach you
How you really feel
Face up to the fact
That you are who you are
Nothing can change that belief
Just be
Just be

'cause now I know
It's not so far
To where I go
The hardest part
Is inside me
I need
To just be
Just be

Just be
Just be
Just be

I was lost
And I'm still lost
But I feel so much better

'cause now I know
It's not so far
To were I go
The hardest part
Is inside me
I need
To just be
Just be

Tiesto ~ Just Be

Hidden Banner

This is a special hidden post. You shouldn't be seeing this!

Untrue Calling

"Hello?"

"Hi, sorry for not answering your call just now. Just had a long day at work."

"Hey, its ok.Anyways, how is your surveying going?"

"..."

"The reason I called is to see if you can return the other day's favour and help me with my survey...."

"Sure, when?"

"Tomorrow good, say 9-ish?"

"Okay, I'll call you then."

"Wanna come out join me & goat for dinner?"

"Tell you what, I'll call you in a while..."

"Its okay, I've herd that all before..."

Not to b*tch but I seriously have herd that "i'll call you right back" line far too often. They never do call back. I never believe it when someone says they will call me back. I'm not sure if its because I'm such a colourful person or if that they are afraid of confrontation.

The only problem is when someone else says it & truly means it, I totally discount it, missing out opportunities. I may have even missed an opportunity to get to know Mellon Boy better. He is one of Wjee's extra cute & blur friends. Oh yeah, fucking hot bod & skin the colour of toufu (yes we orientals believe toufu is all good).

Whatever. I just know I can't depend on anyone anymore. Ok well, maybe I forgot myself. I sort of can depend on myself... Right?

You have become
What you have always been
Life figuring out
Rephrase your vision

No words I can speak
A path should been chosen
All trembling track
She lead us back and here
the guts are

Love comes again
Just when I booked in none of her
Love can come again
You gotta believe that
Love comes again
Just when I booked in none of her
Love can come again

Deep within me
Turn all the secret stones
Voice of fields
Breathing when love holds
Still no word we can speak
A path should been chosen
But all trembling track
She lead us back and here
the guts are

Love comes again
Just when I booked in none of her
Love can come again
You gotta believe that
Love comes again
Just when I booked in none of her
Love can come again

Tiesto ~ Love Comes Again

The Talking Zombie

Yeah this is sort of a twisted attempt to glorify whining about my moody monday. If you dont want to read the rant, try Why Do I Do This Every Day instead. Fuckkit is cheeky and charming.

On Sunday, my friend let it slip that he had been discussing with Ruggy the reason that I & Ruggy broke up. I hated that & had to cycle it off. Have I mentioned the bikes at the gym & sex are really alike? They both don't go anywhere fast & leave your ass as sore as f*ck. But enough about my wondering thoughts...

Actually, it was my wondering thoughts that f*cked my sleep. Last night I had "one of those" dreams. I dreamt I was having the talk with Ruggy, again. F*ck yeah its pathetic. F*ck yeah I woked up pissed as hell and well, cranky that I didnt have a good rest. If anything, I felt unsure of what really happened with Ruggy, and had to reassure myself that it really doesnt matter cos I don't need to care. Men maybe bastards, but yeah I'm one too.

As a result of that whole fiasco, I ended up like a talking zombie the whole day at work. Eyes half opened & horrible posture, I spent the day moaning "Sien-ah", which in Hokkien means 'I'm bored & tired-la'. With minimal movement I stayed in my nice cool department to pay my bills & read my web-comics. A lazy bitch I was. With evil intent, I slipped lurid, suggestive & ambiguous phrases in to my conversations. Its very entertaining to get the right reactions at the wrong moments, i.e. I got people to burst out laughing when they shouldn't. I'd write some down but I want to know the sillest ways you made some one laugh. And nothing that involves bad blow jobs, please.

No words, no talk.
We'll go dreaming

No pain, no hurt.
We'll go dreaming

Walk with me,
The future's at hand.
Here with us,
Here where you stand.
We both know the power of pain,
We get back up and start it again.
With new hope, no place for tears,
Leave behind those frozen years.
Come with me and we'll go dreaming.

We don't know how it can be,
Searvhing out dignity.
Nothing can be as savage as love,
One taste is never enough.
With new hope, no place for tears.
Catch my hand and come with me.
Close your eyes and dream.

No words, no talk.
We'll go dreaming
No pain, no hurt.
We'll go dreaming
No words, no talk.
We'll go dreaming
No pain, no hurt.
We'll go dreaming

Walk with me,
The future's at hand.
Here with us,
Here where we stand.
We both know the power of pain,
We get back up and start it again.
With new hope, no place for tears,
Leave behind those frozen years.
Come with me and the dream.

We don't know how it can be,
Searching out dignity.
Nothing can be as savage as love,
One taste is never enough.
With new hope, no place for tears.
Catch my hand and come with me.
Close your eyes and dream.

No words, no talk.
We'll go dreaming
No pain, no hurt.
We'll go dreaming
No words, no talk.
We'll go dreaming
No pain, no hurt.
We'll go dreaming
(repeat)

We'll go dreaming.
We'll go dreaming.
We'll go dreaming.
We'll go dreaming.
We'll go dreaming.
We'll go dreaming.
We'll go dreaming.
We'll go dreaming.
We'll go dreaming.

Catch my hand and come with me.
Close your eyes and dream.

No words, no talk.
We'll go dreaming
No pain, no hurt.
We'll go dreaming
(repeat out)

Tiesto ~ Dreaming

I Hate Evil Clowns!

Actually I don't but its really fun to annoy people by saying it. In the past, when some one caught me off guard the first thing I said to them was "don't do that-la... You know I hate evil clowns." But there are other things that sort of frighten my little girl soul & make me be even more 'vocal'.

On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the most frightening for me, I fear being embarrassed & looking silly the least. I've taken pictures in all of the funniest places in all the funniest positions like posing like a mermaid on a rock. When caught off guard, I do squeal but then I laugh it off quick.

At 3 there are pests like roaches, centipedes & bed bugs. A quick "Aaaaaah!" And I flee for my life.

At 4 there is the idea of driving down a highway & suddenly a car comes tumbling towards me. It spins & rolls all over the palace. I break but its still too fast. What that happened to me, my heart beat was so fast it sounded almost like a hummingbird. But the sound was totally drowned by the "Nooooooooo!"

Then at 7 there things like fire, criminals, natural disasters & being caught by the cops. I have survived some minor encounters with these. They usually cause me to curse non stop.

But nightmares are at no 10. Dreams where I imagine I die slowly alone, I lose a leg, I get HIV or I am haunted. They make me scream like Mariah Carey when some one takes food away from her. Obviously no one has successfully taken any food from her but you can imagine, can't you? Or is it just me? Am I over imaginative?

Thankfully no one was in bed with me to catch my performances. Then I'd be embarrassed...
"Eep!"

Project AJ The Pimping Fairy

Ok, with all the reality TV that I watch, it was bound to happen. I have decided to put myself through a series of episodes, just for the fun of it. The first task was, to go to a straight club with the objective of having lots of alcohol & fun, make new friends & help my friends make new friends.

To prepare myself for this visit into the world of breeders (*heh* discrimation towards straight people), I decided I needed to straighten out my look. It has been over a year since I last graced the dance floors at any disco/bar with less than 80% homosexual clientelle. First, I bought new edgy-er shoes. Black & very boxy, I actually needed time to get used to them.

Then I got my locks chopped at my favourite Butch Barber. He is the one woman who has ever done my hair right. Sure there was some sorrow as I watched inches of hair fall to the floor but with the new do, I can so spike it, wave it, colour mousse it & add glitter & tinsle, maybe an angel or a star....Endless possibilities!

So I put on my best straight boy get up & picked up my leading lady, Ling Ling. She looked hot & it really made me think, have I defined my own sexuality & limited my sex life to a bunch of wanking jerkoffs? Sure I couldnt imagine having a proper relationship with a women, but women can be so much more fun in bed, if only the b/js didn't tickle....

Initially at the club after dinner, I felt like I wanted to be Cinderella's fairy godmother & find young dashing princes for my single female friends. But yeah, I saw the produce at the club aka meat market & want the good cuts for myself. They are big girls & with their feminine wilds can get any man they want. There is no need for pussy footing or me to do the scouting. Like urban animals, they are free to hunt in the urban jungle disguised as a bar. It was their teritory & I'm just an observer to their weird mating rituals.

I on the other hand have to resort to undressing the few hot straight men with my eyes whiles I twirling hair on my fingers... *Tee Hee Hee* But with my curly locks gone, I had to borrow the hair of the girls on my arms. Truly a sight to be hold, there was I, in my flashy fabulous shirt & plain jeans with 2 hot chicks on botharms, & making a third laugh hilariously. If you saw me you'd say "That dude is a f*cking pimp!"

The only problem was the girls were getting way more attention than me. Sure Ling Ling is the embodyment of chinese intelect meets independent woman (but I'm smarter). NiNi had those crazy manic Indian eyes framed by gorgeous soft-to-the-touch raven locks (but my eyes were bigger). Even NaNa who I barely knew with her skin the colour of honey & bubbly personality was alluring (but I have bubbles coming out of my ass).

Most guys would have love to take my place. I on the other hand, would have loved most to take guys to my place.

The night intensified with meeting some of NaNa's admirers. Cool guys who were really comfortable being themselves, having a couple of drinks & just enjoying the company of friends. In other words, I found one of them adorably f*ckable & smart. I especially liked how he knelt down to pour drinks, allowing me the pleasure of peeking down his shirt to his perky nips & non-flabby abs. *Ya-huh* sort of how straight guys perv at beer babes filling their mugs. Just because I can't have any of the goodies on display doesn't mean I can't admire them!

I had good fun that Saturday night with the straight boys and girls, if only I can get all those hip-hop rappity-rap out of my head in time for The F1 Tiesto Rave, my next project!!

What you gonna do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I’m a get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What you gon’ do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I’m a make, make, make, make you scream
Make u scream, make you scream.
Cause of my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps, check it out!

Black Eyed Peas ~ My Humps

Pulsating AJ

Hey, it’s been awhile. I’ve been sort of busy as a headless chicken at work. And well, after gym, America’s Next Top Model occupies my nights. Didn’t feel like posting but I did read posts & comments from you guys. Everyone was right, in their own way. Especially Wjee, who recognized his story in the last part of the post.

Been occupied, over occupied even. Been forgetting important things to do and can’t see things right in front of me. Could be just fatigue screwing with my mind but its more likely to with urges & thoughts.

Feeling extra bitchy at the wrong times.

To my colleague said comments like “Your pants look different…”
“Nice right? They are Egyptian…”
“They have lots of cotton there…. Possibly even enough to cover you xl-*ss”

Lady in her 40s cuts cue at the supermarket “Clearly its that time of the month for her. You can tell by how her skin has broken out. The pimple on her chin is especially nasty. But most old farts like her have long hit menopause and tend to be patient enough to stand and wait in line.”

And flirting at the wrong times.
At the supermarket checkout counter with the remotely cute but clear straighter than the line to the little lady’s room (girls do usually line up properly don’t they?). “Use-la the big bags. The big ones are good. I like big, don’t you like big?”

Nice married looking gentleman at the gym locker. “I’m just going to pull my clothes out of the locker ok? Just a sec.” “Okay” “Cool. We can share. There enough space for us to share. It isn’t too tight or anything like that…”

Even forgetting at the wrong times.
At the office. “Where is my document? Did you take my document? Is it on your table? I thought I saw it by the printer….. Oh yeah, here it is, right in front of me… Heh… But you usually take them and hide them don’t you? Heh?”

At home. “I can’t find my hand phone? Did you take it? It was by the couch…. Oh wait its in my room. No its here… In my pocket.”

But yeah feeling is better than not feeling. At least I know I still have a pulse.

There's so much more to know
I guess I'll die another day
It's not my time to go

For every sin, I'll have to pay
A time to work, a time to play
I think I'll find another way
It's not my time to go

I'm gonna avoid, the cliché
I'm gonna suspend, my senses
I'm gonna delay, my pleasure
I'm gonna close, my body now

Madonna ~ Die Another Day