Project AJ The Pimping Fairy
Ok, with all the reality TV that I watch, it was bound to happen. I have decided to put myself through a series of episodes, just for the fun of it. The first task was, to go to a straight club with the objective of having lots of alcohol & fun, make new friends & help my friends make new friends.
To prepare myself for this visit into the world of breeders (*heh* discrimation towards straight people), I decided I needed to straighten out my look. It has been over a year since I last graced the dance floors at any disco/bar with less than 80% homosexual clientelle. First, I bought new edgy-er shoes. Black & very boxy, I actually needed time to get used to them.
Then I got my locks chopped at my favourite Butch Barber. He is the one woman who has ever done my hair right. Sure there was some sorrow as I watched inches of hair fall to the floor but with the new do, I can so spike it, wave it, colour mousse it & add glitter & tinsle, maybe an angel or a star....Endless possibilities!
So I put on my best straight boy get up & picked up my leading lady, Ling Ling. She looked hot & it really made me think, have I defined my own sexuality & limited my sex life to a bunch of wanking jerkoffs? Sure I couldnt imagine having a proper relationship with a women, but women can be so much more fun in bed, if only the b/js didn't tickle....
Initially at the club after dinner, I felt like I wanted to be Cinderella's fairy godmother & find young dashing princes for my single female friends. But yeah, I saw the produce at the club aka meat market & want the good cuts for myself. They are big girls & with their feminine wilds can get any man they want. There is no need for pussy footing or me to do the scouting. Like urban animals, they are free to hunt in the urban jungle disguised as a bar. It was their teritory & I'm just an observer to their weird mating rituals.
I on the other hand have to resort to undressing the few hot straight men with my eyes whiles I twirling hair on my fingers... *Tee Hee Hee* But with my curly locks gone, I had to borrow the hair of the girls on my arms. Truly a sight to be hold, there was I, in my flashy fabulous shirt & plain jeans with 2 hot chicks on botharms, & making a third laugh hilariously. If you saw me you'd say "That dude is a f*cking pimp!"
The only problem was the girls were getting way more attention than me. Sure Ling Ling is the embodyment of chinese intelect meets independent woman (but I'm smarter). NiNi had those crazy manic Indian eyes framed by gorgeous soft-to-the-touch raven locks (but my eyes were bigger). Even NaNa who I barely knew with her skin the colour of honey & bubbly personality was alluring (but I have bubbles coming out of my ass).
Most guys would have love to take my place. I on the other hand, would have loved most to take guys to my place.
The night intensified with meeting some of NaNa's admirers. Cool guys who were really comfortable being themselves, having a couple of drinks & just enjoying the company of friends. In other words, I found one of them adorably f*ckable & smart. I especially liked how he knelt down to pour drinks, allowing me the pleasure of peeking down his shirt to his perky nips & non-flabby abs. *Ya-huh* sort of how straight guys perv at beer babes filling their mugs. Just because I can't have any of the goodies on display doesn't mean I can't admire them!
I had good fun that Saturday night with the straight boys and girls, if only I can get all those hip-hop rappity-rap out of my head in time for The F1 Tiesto Rave, my next project!!
To prepare myself for this visit into the world of breeders (*heh* discrimation towards straight people), I decided I needed to straighten out my look. It has been over a year since I last graced the dance floors at any disco/bar with less than 80% homosexual clientelle. First, I bought new edgy-er shoes. Black & very boxy, I actually needed time to get used to them.
Then I got my locks chopped at my favourite Butch Barber. He is the one woman who has ever done my hair right. Sure there was some sorrow as I watched inches of hair fall to the floor but with the new do, I can so spike it, wave it, colour mousse it & add glitter & tinsle, maybe an angel or a star....Endless possibilities!
So I put on my best straight boy get up & picked up my leading lady, Ling Ling. She looked hot & it really made me think, have I defined my own sexuality & limited my sex life to a bunch of wanking jerkoffs? Sure I couldnt imagine having a proper relationship with a women, but women can be so much more fun in bed, if only the b/js didn't tickle....
Initially at the club after dinner, I felt like I wanted to be Cinderella's fairy godmother & find young dashing princes for my single female friends. But yeah, I saw the produce at the club aka meat market & want the good cuts for myself. They are big girls & with their feminine wilds can get any man they want. There is no need for pussy footing or me to do the scouting. Like urban animals, they are free to hunt in the urban jungle disguised as a bar. It was their teritory & I'm just an observer to their weird mating rituals.
I on the other hand have to resort to undressing the few hot straight men with my eyes whiles I twirling hair on my fingers... *Tee Hee Hee* But with my curly locks gone, I had to borrow the hair of the girls on my arms. Truly a sight to be hold, there was I, in my flashy fabulous shirt & plain jeans with 2 hot chicks on botharms, & making a third laugh hilariously. If you saw me you'd say "That dude is a f*cking pimp!"
The only problem was the girls were getting way more attention than me. Sure Ling Ling is the embodyment of chinese intelect meets independent woman (but I'm smarter). NiNi had those crazy manic Indian eyes framed by gorgeous soft-to-the-touch raven locks (but my eyes were bigger). Even NaNa who I barely knew with her skin the colour of honey & bubbly personality was alluring (but I have bubbles coming out of my ass).
Most guys would have love to take my place. I on the other hand, would have loved most to take guys to my place.
The night intensified with meeting some of NaNa's admirers. Cool guys who were really comfortable being themselves, having a couple of drinks & just enjoying the company of friends. In other words, I found one of them adorably f*ckable & smart. I especially liked how he knelt down to pour drinks, allowing me the pleasure of peeking down his shirt to his perky nips & non-flabby abs. *Ya-huh* sort of how straight guys perv at beer babes filling their mugs. Just because I can't have any of the goodies on display doesn't mean I can't admire them!
I had good fun that Saturday night with the straight boys and girls, if only I can get all those hip-hop rappity-rap out of my head in time for The F1 Tiesto Rave, my next project!!
What you gonna do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I’m a get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What you gon’ do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I’m a make, make, make, make you scream
Make u scream, make you scream.
Cause of my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps, check it out!
Black Eyed Peas ~ My Humps
posted by AJ @ 10:28 AM
7 Comments:
Sounds like you had good fun with Ling ling, Nini and Nana.
Paul Paul
Yeah, girls are deadly predators in the urban jungle.
The trouble with living in Oxford is, the gay bars aren't that much more fun that the breeder bars.
OMG, I can see you drooling already when he knelt down (and bent over?), you WHORE!!! I mean...pimp.
paul~ it was nice but really overly non sexual...
hrugaar~ rowl!!!
fukkit~ Nobody strips to their undies & plunges into the foam??? How sad!!
canard~ ur such a snotty nerd! ;oP
mikey~ fairy darling, fairy with lil butterfly wings
Glad you have lotsa fun.
I don't have that many clubbing female friends to go to straight bars with ;P
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