Crazy/Love: The Riddle of The Reformed

Some things I don’t regret but just wonder what if…

What if, many years ago I fuck cared/ listened to everyone and did the unthinkable/ norm with that condemned/ revered. Sure at times I was happy/ crazy but there were also times I felt like the damnedest/ luckiest person in the world.

Maybe if I didn’t entrusted/ disposed of everything sacred/ tainted into the arms of another I would be hated/ loved. Maybe history is destined to go in vicious cycles… Or not. Whatever.

Just let it die
With no goodbyes
Details don't matter
We both paid the price
Tears in my eyes
You know sometimes
It'd be like that baby

Mariah Carey~ Don’t Forget About Us

27 years of responsible slutting… OR NOT?

An old man turned twenty-seven… He won the lottery and died the next day

“Most of the strippers can go home now, only the regular ones stay...” My birthday has come, gone & nothing much has changed. Sure there was a little panic as usual but just like every time I take a shower only to find my lose hair everywhere, I know I’m not losing it, but its just a process. *Flips thick shiny luxurious hair in defiance*

I never forgot it, confusing as it was… No fun with no guilt feelings

Most expectedly, over 3 vigorous nights of drinking, dancing, singing & being merry, I celebrated my birthday. That’s right, it was just like every other weekend I’ve had an excuse to binge drink! I did not celebrate it, yet at the same time I did not not celebrate it.

You didn't think I'd show up with my army… And this ammunition on my back

Most pleasing gift of all was given to me by myself. I tested negative for hiv & got a clean bill of health. Okay, so my cholesterol is a bit high, but nothing more shagging & green veggies wont cure. And when I say shagging, I mean working out at the gym…

I recommend biting off more then you can chew to anyone…I certainly do

Most surprising gift was a chocolate with a mini sponge cake on top and on top the cake, a tea light. Sure my friends did know it was my birthday but by the time they served it, I was so high I barely remembered my own name. Heh. Truly a new way to be surprised.

I don't mean to pick you apart you see… But I can't help it

Most perfect gift was given by Carnie & Slutboy! To me, the perfect gift is something the giver & receiver both appreciate and something the receiver wouldn’t normally buy for himself. That’s right! They got me Allan Wu in a tiny white Speedo! Or was it an equally as fabulous Raoul name card holder?

An older version of me… Is she perverted like me?

Most eventful was a truly hot 3 way kiss on the dance floor *Giggle*. The music was hot, the men were hot and the way it was done was, guess what? That right HOT! It was like one of those movies where the camera focuses on the leading stars and everyone around them blurs out & the music reaches peaks as they kiss. I think I’ve done something as skanky before but this time how it was so much more scandalous. I herd some scornful moans from the crowd, but its better to have the bad reputation than be a shadowed face in the crowd.

What it all comes down to my friends… Is that everything's just fine fine fine

Yeap, I’m wiser.

SLUT WITH A HEART: Terms & Conditions Applied

My birthday is around the corner again. Previous years have found me terrified & hysterical. And why not? Who wants to declare they have more wrinkles, more flab & more emotional baggage?

But this year I am pretty confident I will not indulge in self pity or self destructive behavior. I dare say I have discovered the best part about growing older- wisdom! Nothing nor no one can take away the experiences I’ve lived through or the friendships I’ve built along the way.

Tonight, as I was guzzling booze, I had my own set of epiphanies!

Ask me at 20-22 and I would have told you confidently of my life plan. At 27 I saw myself progressing well in my dream job & living with my ideal partner. Sure I don’t have any of that but I have much much more! Many of my “what if”s have been answered most confidently. I have had the opportunity to try different jobs and different men. I no longer worry about being trapped in a disfunctional relationship either.

Now more than ever I am most certain of what I am looking for in life. How many other people can say that? How many have ventured down the dangerous path only to discover a pot of gold at the end?

Then there are the friends I’ve grown to love & adore. They haven’t remained stagnant either. Many, just like me have extrapolated themselves by leaps & bounds! By the grace of their will, once unsure little princesses have become dominatrix queens full of zest & zeal and love sick puppies have become the happily married bitches I love to loathe. Even the daydreamers with their heads in the clouds have found their own personal heaven.

Sure I have more regrets than just ‘the cute guy that got away’ but who doesn’t have their own little hang-ups?

Life may not be perfect for now but I have done so many things that most only read about in paperback novels & seen so many things that most only view on TV. Sure there have been those who frown on my deviant behavior, but it all has been worth it. Keeping the tempo of my life lively mixed with the beat of fresh experiences ensures I’ve never have to settle for second best.

I may live my life like quail in a speed zone,
but I know I can settle down & be someone’s home… *HICK*

Good/Bad Things Happen In 3s

Old wives’ tale or not, 3 seems to be a magic number. Inspired by Musang’s post It’s a Three Way and So Much More (look for it in February 2007), I examined all the 3 ways I’ve had in my life. Not sexual in nature but the friendships I’ve built. Carnie, Slutboy & me- that’s the latest slutty trinity. Duff, the Goat & me- the unholy trinity spread across the Asia now. 1d, Pinks & me- the unlikely bunch back in University. Having 2 people to depend on makes life, especially while clubbing so much easier.

Can’t remember that cute-guy-I-met’s name?
Need to run distraction on 2 different guys whiles I slut with a third?
Wanna to get that hawt guy’s shirt off but don’t wanna do it yourself?
Like to open a bottle of wine?
Feel like a dirty 3 way dance?
So drunk that I need to be carried to the car?

But then again, the situation isn’t always sunny…

Our love ... his trust
I might as well take a gun
And put it to his head
Get it over with
I don't wanna do this...anymore
Woaoaoao...anymore
Rihanna~ Unfaithful