Merry Christmas!

Sort of a hint of things to come...

Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola
I don't need to try to explain
I just hold on tight and If it happens again
I may move so slightly to the arms
And the lips and the face
Of The Human Cannonball that
I need to I want to...

Savage Garden~ I Want You

AJ the Fetish Icon

I'm feeling a lil guilt. Not that I cheated on ruggy, especially since its not considered cheating if you do it after the break up. But because I don't feel depressed and infact feel better. Superior even!

Thats right!

**~*~*Superior!*~*~**

AJ Throws more confetti into the wind~
**&#^* ~

# * ~ ) ~#?~

* + _ > ~

~~* #* ~?~* Wheeeeeee!

Some may say I'm living in that river in Egypt, you know, TheNile but I seriously don't feel bad as I think I should? I mean, break ups are nasty nasty engagements where people get their hearts stomped on & their souls minced by the blender but not this drama queen! One week of intermediate sulking & I'm feel like diving back into the dating world. I feel superior because I'm better than him.

Whats with all this stomach churning happiness? I had a very enjoyable experience last night. I give you 2 thight slaps you silly perverts! It wasn't sex. But this guy said the sweetest thing.

I was had a delicious meal with the framing queer & his housemate, the Watchman (even tho I was fairly full from a late lunch). The Watchman cooked a nice meal & we all sat down and ate un-daintily. When I say un-daintily I mean with total disregard to manners & social etticate. After dinner we had pleasant after dinner conversation which sooner or later lead to the most important topic of all, *ME*

Framing Queer: So what time you leaving later?

Watchman: Much later, until then I can sit here and enjoy the view, you know I've always found AJ cute. You can't tell what race he is....

Androjane: Thanks! But seriously? I'm all dirty and stinky after work. My hair is a mess, my clothes are crumpled & I havent shaved in days. Not to mention how much I've aged...

Watchman: Yeah, you stll look good & I like the messy hair. Now tell me, what kind of watches do you wear...

Androjane: Well I don't wear watches often but I have the thinnest Swatch Skin with a metal strap......

Although not verbatim, you get the gist of it right? Although most girls find it deplorable to be viewed as lust objects, I found it nice to know that he had the guts to speak his mind (on how cute I am). Even looking like a drunken japanese businessman on a park bench in Ueno (no offence Shigeki) and eating like a starved incestuous bitch, he still found me cute. Better than that he was imagining me wearing a watch, which is by my standards, a very mild fetish ;oP Its great to be loved, but its ok to be admired too, especialy when you least expect it.

Come as you are, as you were,
As I want you to be
As a friend, as a friend, as a old enemy.
Take your time, hurry up
The choice is yours, don't be late.
Take a rest, as a friend, as a old memoria...
Come doused in mud, soaked in bleach
As I want you to be
As a trend, as a friend, as a old memoria...
And I swear that I don't have a gun

Nirvana~ Come As You Are

Good! Good! Good!

When I was but a young boy, I always thought Santa Claus was Chinese. This is because he always was saying "Ho! Ho! Ho!" which means "Good! Good! Good!". This was especially true since he was always recommending new food products, automobiles, shopping centres etc...

But now with Christmas around the corner, its time for me to prepare My Wish List (in no particular order):~

1. Super revolutionary, smart mouthed lover boy with sex oozing out of every pore. Yes. He will be obedient. He will be dominating. He will do what ever it takes to keep me happy (& healthy). Did I forget to mention that he should atleast have enough money to buy New Zealand?

2. All you can eat super-duper buffet with chocolate bunnies, french ham, fried dumplings etc without any calories. No! In fact stuffing my face with this fabulous food should actually make me thinner, fitter & younger!

3. My own fragrance empire. It should be big, self reliant and very very profitable. The kind of thing you inherit from a distant relative who pops off but loves you.

4. A music dynasty. The likes of Madonna & Alicia Keys should have to sing for my pleasure, and Ricky Martin & Usher taking care of my *ahhem* other needs. I will rule fairly & benevolently. They each can rub my feet for equal amounts of time.

5. Find Yamashita's Treasure (Google it) in my back yard whiles planting daisies. Yeah. It should be worth millions! And best part of all, so will I!

6. All I can think of shopping 1 month spree! If I can think of it, it should be mine! So like if I can think of an entire 3 storey bungalo next to KLCC with 6 acres of grounds & butt-shaped swimming pool, its mine! mine! mine! mine!

Stepping aside from improbable dreams, here is the list again, just a *lil* toned down:~

1. Beyond Paradise (For Men). This scent combines both the classic & the contemporary. I like. (It doesn't hurt that it comes in a rainbow colored bottle either)

2. Icecream. Its even better if its a supprise/free/something deliciously new. I had a Nestle Mocha Icecream cone for breakfast so thats one off the list.

3. New Sexy Smart Sassy Super-rich Lover. I know the perfect man is hard to find but he is getting tired waiting for me!

4. Akon's CD. Sometimes a present has to be something nice that you really wouldnt buy for yourself. I've actually liked his music but don't feel like parting with the RM50 (less than USD 10) it costs.

5. Ipod Nano. Its the green eyed monster in me that wants one. Besides the gym, or the occasional public transit, I don't need it, BUT I WANT IT!

6. Win the lottery big time. Enough for seed money to get my dreams of an simple island get-away... I'll hire those cute street urchins, give them a proper place to turn their tricks & cater to fancies of pink dollar!

AJ and Young Jeezy
Tryin' to take it easy
Only way to go
And So...

If you lookin' for me I'll be on the block
With my thang cocked possibly sittin' on a drop (Now)
'Cuz I'm a rida (Yeah)
I'm just a Soul Survivor (Yeah)
'Cuz er'body know the game don't stop
Tryin' to make it to the top for your ass get popped (Now)
If you a rida (Yeah)
Or just a Soul Survivor (Yeah)

Akon & Young Jeezy ~ Soul Survivor

Phone Me

I've been whining.

Alot. I don't like it as much as the next blogger. But what the hay, there really isnt much of anything else on my mind at the moment. Maybe you all wanna click away from here. This month I'm promoting Creative Lock. Straight guys can be fun too...

Yesterday evening I called Duff in Singapore. You see, he is always a good listener and will always force me to listen to the voice of reason.

Why ever would I need a voice of reason?

Well, I wanted to call that no-good bastard. It was a Monday and Monday will be the days I miss him most. No matter how bad my Monday was, I'd always have him to look forward to. But not this Monday.

The phone just rang & rang. Duff's busy. Who do I turn to? His Goatyness!

"Your Goatyness, give me one good reason why i shouldnt call Ruggy."

"Well, it may make you feel good today, but what happens tomorrow and the day after? How about next Monday? You need to get used to the idea that he won't be there for you. Call if you must, just dont get used to it"

"Sigh, that made horribly perfect sense. I'm going home to sulk now."

So I made up my mind not to call the bastard. Not one minute later, I swear, the phone rings & its Ruggy. Just like that the heart changes & I'm fumbling to pick up the call.

Short of describing the whole conversation, nothing has changed.... He is still the same. And no, it didnt make me feel any better. If anything, it made me wrap the covers closer & make me want to melt away... I so wanna be stronger, maybe I need a fridae profile & more sex!

Sex always helps....

You come to me with a casual flow
And suddenly my defenses start to go
When you talk to me in that sensual tone
It envelopes me and I lose my self control

Mariah Carey~ Melt Away

Evolution

Its been 5 days since the break-up.

I'm still hanging in there. I did call him the day after, but I really didnt like what I heard. Its was clear he was totally over me. I know I shouldn't have called but I sort of expected a little more from him. He being until that moment in time, the person closest to my heart. He still wants to be friends? Fuck that. Everything changes. We all evolve & we get by.

I called him a coward, and he agreed. What men won't agree to get out of a sticky situation?

I hate his politeness. I hate the fact that he can't say the things he should have said to my face. So much hate, so little time. I'd sort of expect myself to be all sleepless & pining over him, but I am actually moving on pretty fast. Almost as if I had already braced myself for the break-up.

Did I? Well, yeah, maybe I did.... and I've sort of taken steps to ensure I won't walk down that path with Ruggy ever again (Don't ask). But what I do find pretty amazing, is that with him out of my life, there is so much more I can do!

Complete my freelance projects. Yeah this weekend I completed a friend's brochure & managed to do some writing for that magazine. If he was still bugging my life, I would have easily put it off till next weekend.

Spent time with my friend. Ok. This one sounds rather pathetic as I only hanged out with his goatiness. But we watched a japanese international film (river of fireflies) & it was ok.

Watch tv. To spend time with him I had to work my schedule very carefully to get my errands done. Now, I have so much more time.

Without him in the picture, I have much more disposable income! So I guess I can shop more, which I need to do to achieve the next point:~

Find a better man. Hmmm... Maybe I havent been playing the dating game for too long but I cant wait to see the "new products" on the market....

Duff, Abu, 1d etc are really nice people & they would are great company, IF ONLY THEY WERENT SO FUCKING FAR AWAY! I need new friends.

Eventhough it may be considered that he dumped me, I think I am one up because, in the past, I made the right decision. It may have been good for him but it was only so-so for me. There is so much I will miss about him, but just as much that I thankful I no longer have to put up with.

Hello there the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in backround of the morgue
The unsespecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you won't find me
And we'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this ends faster
Where are you and I'm not sorry
I can sleep I can dream tonight
I need somebody better and always
This sick strange darkness comes creeping on so haunting everytime
And as I stared I counted the webs from all the spiders
catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
And hear your voice of treason
Will you go home and stop this pain tonight
stop this pain tonight
Don't waste your time on me your no longer the voice inside my head..
Don't waste your time on me your no longer the voice inside my head..
Don't waste your time on me your no longer the voice inside my head..
I hate you hate you..
Blink 182~ Miss You /Hate You

Don't Bother...

I want you the right way
I want you, but I want you to want me too,
Want you to want me baby
Just like I want you...

...I'll give you all the love I want in return
But half a love is all I feel, sweet darling
It's too bad, it's just too sad
You don't want me no more...

...One way love is just a fantasy
To share is pecious, pure and fair...

Madonna~ I Want You

I've actually noticed the signs and well it was bound to happen sooner or later. It really isnt too bad. I know I can still function. I've been thru worse and survived. There are just somethings that can't be change & I've to learn to be a bit more smarter.

There could be a gazilion reasons he isnt telling me, but outcome still stands that I am now single. Single or not, I can enjoy my life. Everyone does it!

I don't care what is his secret. Not anymore. Soon after someone tells you that it is over, and you are tired of caring & guessing, its better to just to go forward & not look back. There is so much better things to do than speculate. If he doesn't want to explain, why should I wait for an answer?

When everything falls apart in the rat-race of life, its wise to just pick up the pieces and get on with life. I stil have my dreams.

I wanna shine on in the hearts of men.....

...I want a meaning from the back of my broken hand

Another head aches, another heart breaks
I am so much older than I can take
And my affection, well it comes and goes
I need direction to perfection, no no no no....

Killers~ All These Things I've Done

And Bush Speaks~ Oh! Oh! Boobyhead Blasting Time!

When I saw this piece of news on http://customwire.ap.org/ I realized that it looks like the dimwitted dodo doo-doo-head dumbass has sort of given the world permission to label him as we like...

>WASHINGTON (AP) - President Bush said Monday the federal government's reaction to Hurricane Katrina was appalling, but was not the result of racial indifference to blacks hard-hit by the storm. "You can call me anything you want, but do not call me a racist," Bush said.<

I really don't know where to begin?

Should I point out how he his mouth is always open like one of those inflatable blowjob dolls (and what he says usually stinks like yesterdays cum)?

Or do I focus on those ginormous radar implant- ears (insert bitchy comment on how he has the capacity to recieve over 2000 channels, but he cant understand what is going on in the world)

With Clinton, we atleast know he was just a horny bastard. This one was on holiday whiles Americans were drowning in their own homes.... Honestly, how do the americans feel knowing it could have been them living the katrina nightmare?

skinhead, deadhead, everybody gone bad
situation, aggravation, everybody allegation
in the suite, on the news, everybody dog food
bang bang, shock dead, everybodys gone bad.

all i wanna say is that
they don't really care about us
all i wanna say is that
they don't really care about us

beat me, hate me, you can never break me
will me, thrill me, you can never kill me
chew me, sue me, everybody do me
kick me, hike me, don't you black or white me

Micheal Jackson ~ They Don't Really Care About Us

This post in no way reflects the personal oppinion of the author who knows very well how vengeful the world can be....

My Baby's Got A Secret

Ruggy is starting his own blog!

He informs me that there are no posts yet but he has linked some of his interests. He also wants to like analyse "issues" in his life that he cant talk about. It did come as shock to me, especially considering how he initially felt blogging was like setting up a shrine so others can pay homage to the greatness that is yourself. Poor misguided baby, my blog IS my temple...

Will I visit his blog? No, not yet anyways! The boy deserves some privacy. Blog privacy is such a paradox. I do release some of my darkest secrets out into cyberspace. Stuff I couldn't tell my best friends, my family or even Ruggy. It does feel like going on an american talk show. Not good ol wholesome Oprah with her feed the poor book club & bubble bath foundation for teachers. But rather like Ricki Lake and her line up of cross-dressing whales & pre-puberty nymphos....

During my grandfather's funeral about 4 months back, I casually told my sister & some cousins about some of the cool blogs I read during work. The blank stares & uncomfortable silence all around was more than enough to tell me that most of them are bloggers too.

I did not hunt down their blogs in secret. I was a lil worried about coming across disturbing stuff. Like a blog that describes "a oh so gay but in denial brother who leaves a trash trail where ever he goes, whiles having the cutest bf". We are at the age where distance is better measured in Mbps, and communication is simplisically complex. Its not what you know, but how to find it!

The next issue is, finding info is one thing, dealing with it is another. The burden of the truth isnt always pretty. Would you send a private investigator to check if your husband is cheating on you? Like what would you do if your found your parents porn collection? Or should you bribe police to get out of a hassle, knowing very well that you are encouraging those bastards. Or even that KFC Whipped Potato Gravy is made with the same oil used to fry the chicken, only with added over fried bits... As disturbing as it may or may not be, I'm not sure if don't want to know...

I want to be the one to know you

I want to be the one to stay

I want to be the one to show you the way,

Yeah.. yeah

Barstools & Cigarettes ~ Locked

The soulful song's from Arroclint's Blog~

http://creativelock.blogspot.com/

Charmed I'm Sure~ in 6 Steps!

Sunday brunch was spent with his goatyness (my ex) and his other ex (or so he claims).

Well, some may consider this situation an akward one, you know meeting your ex's ex who is on good terms with your ex. But I'm not so easily disturbed. I somehow feel there is more to their relationship than his goatyness is volunteering. But its not my place to speculate. It is my place tho to appear more charming than a charm bracklet, wittier than neurotic chicken & sexier than brad pitt's butt.

How did I do it you may ask? Its simple really. Following some simple rules, I strongly believe that I have charmed his socks off & lived up to expectations as the evil ex. Here are 6 simple steps to follow to impress your ex's ex, assuming both of you are on talking terms.

1. Don't Over Dress. For heaven's sake, wearing T-shirt & faded jeans is good enough. Obviously you don't wanna look like Christina Evil-clown-make-up Aguilera whiles munching on your roti canai!

2. Don't Volunteer Too Much Info. Obviously if you know your ex's favourite past time is listening to his own voice, you know your name is bound to be part of many a conversation he has. I can only imagine being described as "AJ The Tormentor" , "AJ The Forked Tongued" and "He Who Makes My Life A Living Hell". If he wants to know more, let him ask. Also topics like what you & your ex did with onion rings is not acceptable conversation. NO Kink!

3. Be The Better Bitch. I would have to assume that anyone who hangs out with his ex as much as I do would always end up bitching at each other. Never relent! Never give up! Even if it is as lame a comeback as " What a fresh insult! As fresh as dinosaur poop I'd say!"

4. Force Feed Your Ex's Ex. Load him up with cholesterol laden curries, mutton masala & chutney! Your Ex's Ex may or may not be be playing the dating game but thats no reason not to be bitter. With the chance you will ever sleep with him practically zero, you should help him get out of shape. This is especially true if he is cute as a button. Remember, if you cant have him, no one else should want him!

5. Taunt Your Ex. Tell horrible stories about all the silly things he did in the past like how he likes parking on dividers or that he watches pornographic cartoons. Comments like "So you do really exist & he wasn't just making you up so he could wank in peace" are also acceptable.

6. Don't Give Them Any Time To Themselves. This is especially true if your ex's ex has important things to say to your ex. Screw him! Its all about ME! ME! ME! ME!... I mean you, you you & you....

Yeap its confirmed that I'm an attention-seeking-bitter-cunt-who-can't-let-go. But anything less would be a character fault! His goatyness expects nothing less of me, especially after all the things he said to Ruggy!

And I'll be happy for you
If you can be happy for me
Circles and triangles
And now we're hanging out with your new girlfriend
So far from where we've been
I know we're cool
I know we're cool

Gwen Stefani ~ Cool

Do you suffer froms smelly sh!ts?

I pity my parents. I really do. They spent more than 25 years nuturing & educating their son, only to have him advocating the need to overcome smelly sh!ts!

What I'm really ranting about is that during my latest work-related project, I had to denounce smelly sh!ts. Truly we all should have odourless, if not fragrant crap! It is so totally unnatural (and unhealthy) for sh!t to stink. Just ask upper management. But I feel, if you leave your sh!t long enough for it to start to smell, and worse still if you pause to ponder your poo poo, you are indeed in need of some serious medical attention. Preferably the kind that involves pasting electrodes to your balls to stop you from playing with your pee pee. Wankers!

That aside I do appologize for my sudden dissapearance but~

Deadlines at work + Final presentation for class + Horrible Cough = No blogging time

I've heard the word urgent so often that it has lost its meaning. Much like sex, f*ck & rest.

But the copywriting class is over & i got my well deserved A! Dammit i was the only student anal enough to attend every single lecture!

Anyways my dearies, more updates later, its time for AJ to put on his heels & lie for a living... We all have to do something for money, don't we?

I know you'd like to thank your sh!t don't stink
But lean a little bit closer
See that roses really smell like oo-oo-oo
Yeah, roses really smell like oo-oo-oo

I know you'd like to thank your sh!t don't stink
But lean a little bit closer
See that roses really smell like oo-oo-oo
Yeah, roses really smell like oo-oo-oo

Outkast~ Roses