Phone Me
I've been whining.
Alot. I don't like it as much as the next blogger. But what the hay, there really isnt much of anything else on my mind at the moment. Maybe you all wanna click away from here. This month I'm promoting Creative Lock. Straight guys can be fun too...
Yesterday evening I called Duff in Singapore. You see, he is always a good listener and will always force me to listen to the voice of reason.
Why ever would I need a voice of reason?
Well, I wanted to call that no-good bastard. It was a Monday and Monday will be the days I miss him most. No matter how bad my Monday was, I'd always have him to look forward to. But not this Monday.
The phone just rang & rang. Duff's busy. Who do I turn to? His Goatyness!
"Your Goatyness, give me one good reason why i shouldnt call Ruggy."
"Well, it may make you feel good today, but what happens tomorrow and the day after? How about next Monday? You need to get used to the idea that he won't be there for you. Call if you must, just dont get used to it"
"Sigh, that made horribly perfect sense. I'm going home to sulk now."
So I made up my mind not to call the bastard. Not one minute later, I swear, the phone rings & its Ruggy. Just like that the heart changes & I'm fumbling to pick up the call.
Short of describing the whole conversation, nothing has changed.... He is still the same. And no, it didnt make me feel any better. If anything, it made me wrap the covers closer & make me want to melt away... I so wanna be stronger, maybe I need a fridae profile & more sex!
Alot. I don't like it as much as the next blogger. But what the hay, there really isnt much of anything else on my mind at the moment. Maybe you all wanna click away from here. This month I'm promoting Creative Lock. Straight guys can be fun too...
Yesterday evening I called Duff in Singapore. You see, he is always a good listener and will always force me to listen to the voice of reason.
Why ever would I need a voice of reason?
Well, I wanted to call that no-good bastard. It was a Monday and Monday will be the days I miss him most. No matter how bad my Monday was, I'd always have him to look forward to. But not this Monday.
The phone just rang & rang. Duff's busy. Who do I turn to? His Goatyness!
"Your Goatyness, give me one good reason why i shouldnt call Ruggy."
"Well, it may make you feel good today, but what happens tomorrow and the day after? How about next Monday? You need to get used to the idea that he won't be there for you. Call if you must, just dont get used to it"
"Sigh, that made horribly perfect sense. I'm going home to sulk now."
So I made up my mind not to call the bastard. Not one minute later, I swear, the phone rings & its Ruggy. Just like that the heart changes & I'm fumbling to pick up the call.
Short of describing the whole conversation, nothing has changed.... He is still the same. And no, it didnt make me feel any better. If anything, it made me wrap the covers closer & make me want to melt away... I so wanna be stronger, maybe I need a fridae profile & more sex!
Sex always helps....
You come to me with a casual flow
And suddenly my defenses start to go
When you talk to me in that sensual tone
It envelopes me and I lose my self control
Mariah Carey~ Melt Away
posted by AJ @ 9:12 AM
11 Comments:
I know how u feel la dear.
No matter how we distance ourselves, the heart always betray us.
But it changes nothing.
Have to cut this short, cos if i go any further, Duff's accusation about me turning every conversation into a discussion on ME ME ME will ring true!!!
take care
u can call me too u know.
AJ honey, I'm so sorry to hear this... I've been quite busy to read up all my fave blogs so I just read the few that I could... my deepest sympathies...
Oh, Poor AJ.
I hope things will get better any time soon. I hope you come up with good alternative solutions to blow it off.
Yup, Sex can be good but there are other things that make you feel happy. I wish you luck!
No honey, sex is not a solution. Instead of making you feel better, sex will pull your self esteem down to the drain. Here are my suggestions to help you ease your pain:
Talk to him face to face. And what I mean is sitting down, taking both of your time, and talking things over. Understand what is behind all this shitty break up. You can shout all you want, but at the end of the conversation, you will get a clear picture of what is going on.
A clear picture of the situation means a clearer mind set of what you should do next - moving on or solving the issues for a possiblity of getting back together.
If you've decided to move on, honey, finding ways to keep you occupied, like having more sex and setting up naked pictures of yours on fridae profile, won't do any good. Sweet revenge will always turn sour in the end. Instead, forgiving and forgetting will eventually make you happy. Try it! It helps for me!
If you guys wish to patch back and solve some issues that may arise, decide what is best for both of you. If you think the issues are somewhat too difficult to overcome, you might want to see them in different perspectives and find solutions.
Love is the answer! Love yourself for being a good lover all these whiles. If he doesn't appreciate it, maybe it's time to consider how you can channel your love to someone else.
I'm not trying to be Miss Thelma here, but I just wanna share my 2 cents! Hope you are feeling better!
HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!
Sex is certainly not the solution as Mikey says. I know it's difficult when someone leaves and it hurts as hell. Perhaps you might not feel like you'd be able to forgive Ruggy at the moment - and I totally understand that - so take your time and do the things that feel good to you. Go out with your friends.
But don't shut Ruggy out totally. I made my own peace with my ex and we've become good friends. It takes time though. Till then, you have all of us behind you.
Paul
wjee: we always talk about you....
holden: its ok, its just a break-up....its not like i've been browsing blogs of late...
shigeki + mikey + paul ~ Its not that I want revenge or anything like that, but just that I'm feeling a lil frisky & the itch needs to be scratched. We are still talking and in the long run I suppose we will be friends.
TTFN!
aj: don't feel guilty about having sex... it's OK! often it's what helps keep us going...!
if you can be friends with him, good, otherwise, no problem too. no pressure.
Hmm... sorry I hadn't been keeping much with everyone's blog... but anyway... I think sex isn't the solutions to your problem (love to say more on that... but not here)... Perhaps you need to take some serious time off or find a new hobby...
Well I wish you the best either way! *hugs*
I agree sex is not a solution... But doesnt feel bad either ;oP
AJ,
I am really sorry to hear all this.
You know, you have gave me such more confidence in this path of rainbow discovery!
I am still counting on you on being a good fellow to follow, right?
Hang in there, and if you need someone to talk to, you can always email me.
Take care.... *hugs*
kitjar: Thanks, but if anything you need to follow YOUR groove & go with YOUR flow. Its one thing to be inspired, its another to be yourself... Winks
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