Evolution

Its been 5 days since the break-up.

I'm still hanging in there. I did call him the day after, but I really didnt like what I heard. Its was clear he was totally over me. I know I shouldn't have called but I sort of expected a little more from him. He being until that moment in time, the person closest to my heart. He still wants to be friends? Fuck that. Everything changes. We all evolve & we get by.

I called him a coward, and he agreed. What men won't agree to get out of a sticky situation?

I hate his politeness. I hate the fact that he can't say the things he should have said to my face. So much hate, so little time. I'd sort of expect myself to be all sleepless & pining over him, but I am actually moving on pretty fast. Almost as if I had already braced myself for the break-up.

Did I? Well, yeah, maybe I did.... and I've sort of taken steps to ensure I won't walk down that path with Ruggy ever again (Don't ask). But what I do find pretty amazing, is that with him out of my life, there is so much more I can do!

Complete my freelance projects. Yeah this weekend I completed a friend's brochure & managed to do some writing for that magazine. If he was still bugging my life, I would have easily put it off till next weekend.

Spent time with my friend. Ok. This one sounds rather pathetic as I only hanged out with his goatiness. But we watched a japanese international film (river of fireflies) & it was ok.

Watch tv. To spend time with him I had to work my schedule very carefully to get my errands done. Now, I have so much more time.

Without him in the picture, I have much more disposable income! So I guess I can shop more, which I need to do to achieve the next point:~

Find a better man. Hmmm... Maybe I havent been playing the dating game for too long but I cant wait to see the "new products" on the market....

Duff, Abu, 1d etc are really nice people & they would are great company, IF ONLY THEY WERENT SO FUCKING FAR AWAY! I need new friends.

Eventhough it may be considered that he dumped me, I think I am one up because, in the past, I made the right decision. It may have been good for him but it was only so-so for me. There is so much I will miss about him, but just as much that I thankful I no longer have to put up with.

Hello there the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in backround of the morgue
The unsespecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you won't find me
And we'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this ends faster
Where are you and I'm not sorry
I can sleep I can dream tonight
I need somebody better and always
This sick strange darkness comes creeping on so haunting everytime
And as I stared I counted the webs from all the spiders
catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
And hear your voice of treason
Will you go home and stop this pain tonight
stop this pain tonight
Don't waste your time on me your no longer the voice inside my head..
Don't waste your time on me your no longer the voice inside my head..
Don't waste your time on me your no longer the voice inside my head..
I hate you hate you..
Blink 182~ Miss You /Hate You