27 years of responsible slutting… OR NOT?

An old man turned twenty-seven… He won the lottery and died the next day

“Most of the strippers can go home now, only the regular ones stay...” My birthday has come, gone & nothing much has changed. Sure there was a little panic as usual but just like every time I take a shower only to find my lose hair everywhere, I know I’m not losing it, but its just a process. *Flips thick shiny luxurious hair in defiance*

I never forgot it, confusing as it was… No fun with no guilt feelings

Most expectedly, over 3 vigorous nights of drinking, dancing, singing & being merry, I celebrated my birthday. That’s right, it was just like every other weekend I’ve had an excuse to binge drink! I did not celebrate it, yet at the same time I did not not celebrate it.

You didn't think I'd show up with my army… And this ammunition on my back

Most pleasing gift of all was given to me by myself. I tested negative for hiv & got a clean bill of health. Okay, so my cholesterol is a bit high, but nothing more shagging & green veggies wont cure. And when I say shagging, I mean working out at the gym…

I recommend biting off more then you can chew to anyone…I certainly do

Most surprising gift was a chocolate with a mini sponge cake on top and on top the cake, a tea light. Sure my friends did know it was my birthday but by the time they served it, I was so high I barely remembered my own name. Heh. Truly a new way to be surprised.

I don't mean to pick you apart you see… But I can't help it

Most perfect gift was given by Carnie & Slutboy! To me, the perfect gift is something the giver & receiver both appreciate and something the receiver wouldn’t normally buy for himself. That’s right! They got me Allan Wu in a tiny white Speedo! Or was it an equally as fabulous Raoul name card holder?

An older version of me… Is she perverted like me?

Most eventful was a truly hot 3 way kiss on the dance floor *Giggle*. The music was hot, the men were hot and the way it was done was, guess what? That right HOT! It was like one of those movies where the camera focuses on the leading stars and everyone around them blurs out & the music reaches peaks as they kiss. I think I’ve done something as skanky before but this time how it was so much more scandalous. I herd some scornful moans from the crowd, but its better to have the bad reputation than be a shadowed face in the crowd.

What it all comes down to my friends… Is that everything's just fine fine fine

Yeap, I’m wiser.

AJ’s Sweet Escape

Everybody could use a holiday. And since I’m just like you (only more fabulous), I hauled my ass up North to the duty free beach paradise known as Langkawi, where I met one of my friends whom I haven’t seen in a while- 1d. They say Langkawi is made up of 99 islands in the sun, but I really was too tipsy to notice.

I didn't see any skulls on the beach, but the water looked just fine...

Lost In Translation
One the funny things about Langkawi is the unending list of legends associated with the island! Maybe the locals are very into the whole ethnic-goth culture or they simply like story telling but there seems to be a drama, I mean legend behind almost every place. Most of the names like fields of burnt rice, seven wells, mashuri’s grave & wet rice beach are all sweet & nice. But there is one beach called Pasir Tengkorak, which translates into Skull Sand Beach. Doesn’t it paint a beautiful picture in your mind?

Wish you were here Slutboy, you could have had this one...

46 Flavors & Counting
Funny chocolates, icecream, seafood & ciggies weren’t the only things on the menu. More like seefood. I saw hot shirtless men of all nationalities! Koreans, Japanese, Africans, Europeans, Americans, Latinos, Arabs, the works! No, I didn’t get any action (but i managed to snap some shots). Seriously, like straight men watching lesbian porn, it was more of a spectator sport. Shirtless & cute, all of them were traveling in small groups or paired off with women. But if it is any consolation for not being there, there was this one guy playing volleyball, let's call him Mr. Bouncy Butt, in the most obscene orange G-string ever. His butt wasn't that bad, just that I saw too much of it. Why are the bad G-strings always orange?

The nice gentleman in the orange G-string is your's Carnie, I'll take the one in the blue shorts.

...You never know what you’ll get!
It doesn’t just apply to chocolates (of which I had many), but cutesy pre-mixed drinks in cans & bottles. I’m not sure what the crazy Japs mixed with their fruit juices, but it sure as hell tasted fun. There was even one which I swore was apple beer! If they can come up with raw fish roe spaghetti & potato pizza, why not apple beer?

The hotel from the water, ain't it pretty?

Mandarins Are Fattening! Let’s Share Half!
As cheap drunks as we were, 1d & I decided to try our very best at finishing a 1 liter bottle of Absolut Mandarin (we only made it half way). And in case you ever do fly to Langkawi & come back through the LCCT, take note, the CUSTOMS NEVER CHECK BAGS! Yes! Bring in as much as you want!

I managed to get back in touch with my artistic side. What ya think, is it, er, goat?

The Most Effective Diet Ever- The Monkey Diet
Don’t worry you won’t have to swallow any monkey brains (unless you want to). What happened was, whiles we were busily playing in the water on Beras Basah Island, a pack of evil monkey made off with all our snacks & apple juice. The smart bastards actually left the water & vodka in a mineral water bottle! Some how they must have known if they took the vodka, I would hunt each and everyone of them down. Slowly grill them alive & feed them to the jelly fish…

All cooked (totally no alcohol involved, lol) and passed out on the beach!

Doing A Lindsay Lohan
I was so distracted by the whole monkey episode (or just too plain drunk) that at one point I actually took a swig of vodka in the mineral bottle thinking it was water! Yes, just like Lindsay Lohan & her bottle of ‘mineral water’. I was giggling on the beach for no apparent reason constantly, luckily my company didn't complain.

Hope you enjoyed the pictures as much as I enjoyed taking them. Do pamper yourself with a trip somehow or other. And always remember as my wise philosophical friend said, you have to be here to get there.

Please don't go crazy, if I tell you the truth
No you don't know what happened
And you never will if
You don't listen to me while I talk to the wall
This blanket is freezing, it's been out in the hall
Where you've had me for hours
Till I'm sure what I want
But darling I want the same thing that I wanted before
So sweetheart tell me what's up I won't stop no way

Please keep your hands down
And stop raising your voice
It's hardly what I'd be doing if you gave me a choice
It's a simple suggestion can you give me sometime
So just say yes or no
Why can't you shoulder the blame
Coz both my shoulders are heavy
From the weight of us both
You're a big boy now so let's not talk about growth
You've not heard a single word I have said...
Oh, my God

Please take it easy it can't all be my fault
I haven't made half the mistakes
That you've listed so far
Oh baby let me explain something
It's all down to drugs
At least I remember taking the and not a lot else
It seems I've stepped over lines
You've drawn again and again
But if the ecstacy's in the wit is definitely out
Dr. Jekyll is wrestling Hyde for my pride
Snow Patrol~ How To Be Dead

A Merry Messy Pre-Christmas

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I’ve been a very very good boy this year & Santa has kept his end of the bargain and rewarded me early this year!

Without the fancy-smancy twists & turns, let me just say I unexpectedly but gratefully spent my pre Christmas extremely giggly. I didn’t actually intend on drinking much but thanks to Carnie & Slutboy who took turns pouring bubbly down my throat, I was happy. Unexpected happiness is always the best, isn’t it?

Unexpected happiness is like twiddling 2 cousins on the sofa. Finally all that working out at the gym has paid off as I had one cousin on either side of my chest whiles I slowly stroked them and chatted. It was not a totally bimbotic conversation either! I know the normal fetish is for twins or brothers, but I’ve discovered that the hunt for cousins is much easier to satisfy. Roowr!

Santa was truly smiling on me because I also had another rare species at hand:- A freshly graduated 20 year old Singaporean virgin (with hard abs) who is undergoing his National Service training.Giggle. His story goes he was in search of the famous beef noodles in Kuala Lumpur, couldn’t find it and eventually stumbled into the bar. It was his lucky night too I guess because after clubbing we brought him to the noodle place & gave him a ride to his hotel (where his straight friends were actually waiting, unknowlingly).

As I lay in bed early in the morning, giggling with all that happened floating in my head, I thought about some of the advice I gave to the young boy & wonder how he viewed it…

“You know the whole thing about virginity. I mean about how your first time is special, sweet, meaningful & how you should wait to do it with the right person at the right time? Fuck that! Virginity is over rated. Just go do it and get it over with, that way you can have start having as much sex as you want with whoever you want!”

I wonder, will Santa be as 4th giving next Christmas?

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
to remind me
to find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Snow Patrol~ Chasing Cars