Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Rainbow Ring


Last night mild insomnia returned,
So this morning I woke extra early.
I took my rainbow ring.
I placed it on my ring finger
I rubbed it a lil.
I yearn for a reason.
I rested my eyes.

This morning on my drive to work,
It was drizzling as fine as snow.
I looked up and I saw...
A rainbow in the sky.
Hasnt it been awhile since I saw a rainbow?
So long I cant remember....
But what I remember,
Is the poem my mother thought me as a child...

My heart leaps up when I behold
William Wordsworth
MY heart leaps up when I behold
A rainbow in the sky:
So was it when my life began,
So is it now I am a man,
So be it when I shall grow old
Or let me die!

Such words lift me up.
Never shall I be forced to remember,
things i don't desire.
Relive this weekend,
If I must but let it all go I shall.

Current Mood?~Pensive & Broody
Current Music?~Ambient

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Oh! Sugar Daddy

Here is a useful list for all you gold diggin queens Forbes Mag's 25 Richest people in the world, ranked by worth...Click to see their profiles. Go do your research, land a sugar daddy/sugar mummy and don't forget lil Janie....

1 William Gates III Filthy rich but too popular a target as it is....
2 Warren Buffett Sounds like a cheepo, no prada handbags ladies..
3 Lakshmi Mittal Curry anyone?
4 Carlos Slim Helu Latino Flava
5 Prince Alwaleed Bin Talal Alsaud If u wanna be a REAL princess
6 Ingvar Kamprad If like doing it on Ikea furniture, apply for a job within...
7
Paul Allen
8 Karl Albrecht
9 Lawrence Ellison
10S Robson Walton made a fortune selling Wal Mart junk!
11Jim Walton
12John Walton
13Alice Walton *sniff sniff*
14Helen Walton I smell pussy
15Kenneth Thomson & family
16Liliane Bettencourt smelly pussy
17Bernard Arnault
18Michael Dell
19Sheldon Adelson
20Theo Albrecht
21Roman Abramovich HANDS OFF! ladies this one is mine...
22Li Ka-shing Honkey Grandaddy!!
23Amancio Ortega Spanish...
24Steven Ballmer
25Silvio Berlusconi
Ya know... With all that money, most of them could afford a whole harem....
But it doesnt look like any of them spent it on plastic surgery...


But Roman Abramovich
He is my type of *S*u*g*a*r* *D*a*d*d*y*...

Self made, devious, spendtrift & cute nose. With my knowledge of the petroleum industry (I use a lot of petroleum jelly) I will easily lure him into my clutches...

Vodka Lime (he'll supply the vodka, I'll bring the lime)


If there are defamation laws against this... Goat help me...

Star Wars Ep3: Ravaged By the Seikh

Watched the DVD last nite with *Ruggy* (honestly how long did you think i could stay away from his sexy nose) But I wasnt ravaged... :P

The copy of Starwars was meant for Russia.... or somewhere like that...

All I can say is that its good to know bad translations happen everywhere...

Aninkin: What is happening to the Jedi Order?

Russians: What happened to the Jed I ordered?

Ahhem... Sing with me.. its a small world after all.. Its a small world after all... Its a small small world!

Monday, June 27, 2005

Shallow Blood Pressure!

Some may say I'm typper finger happy today.. But plainly put, I'm too lazy to work hard. Don't get me wrong I work HARD... but some times it gets to me...

Since last week I have conducted research and perfected my "High Blood Pressure: The Silent Killer" typical story pitch to sell jagged lil pills...

And what do I get? A phone call saying
" Ummm Jane... I think the high blood pressure article is too Ummm SHallow.... Why not you try concentrating on the Liver one instead and see how it goes!"

ShaLLow? ShAlloW? shaLLOW? sHAlLOW?

Wel... atleast now I get to experience high blood pressure AND enjoy the benefits of a stressed liver... first hand...

*Moan*.... Another day... another dollar...

Endorsement Denied!

In the infamous words of a dear friend "I'M UPSET!!"

Why because my inane/insane comment was censored.

I'm finally sort of finding my message platform and style of presentation when *Pow* I'm shot down like a swan in my prime, plunging into a ravine of despair, only to be discovered & ravaged by parasite ridden mongerels... (YES I MEAN YOU.... you who I shall curse until dinner time)

stifle my creativity or lack of it... but know this... I've most prolly have had more good sex in June than you have had your entire lifetime.... :oP

*i'm petty with a passion*

Removal of Claim

Due to recent outbursts of missery, I'm no longer able to claim "ironically positive" as one of my traits.

I read in some comic about lesbian butches once a line that goes something like-
It doesnt matter how fabulous your partner is,
how rich you are,
how great your career...
All of us will have our off days...

So we cant always stay happy,
but we CAN get over ourselves in due time
and be ready for the next one (would like to insert link to the love of my life... Any takers? Lol)

I have wasted much time mourning for a love that would never come back to me...
Believe me, there are better ways to waste time, such as:-
http://duffieduff.blogspot.com
Its GGggrreat for the egoist and the attention craving child in all of us...

DDay!

Ahemm.. As Sinead said
"It's been seven hours fifteen days
since u took your love away
I go out every night sleep all day
since u took your love away
since u been gone I can do whatever I want
I can see whomever I choose
I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant but nothing
I said nothing can take away these blues,'cos nothing compares
nothing compares 2 u"

Yeah Ruggy headed off to Penang on Friday to celebrate his birthday. Call me a diva but when i saw him briefly on Thurs Nite, I was cold towards him. Wished him happy birthday on Friday via the phone but was even more icy than usual. *Will he get the message that i'm tired of wasting my time with him?"

He hasnt called... at all.. What should I expect from someone so self absorbed, so egotistic, so arrogant... so immature... so.. so.. so...
Insensitive
"Oh, you probably wont remember me,
its probably ancient history,
Im one of the chosen few who went ahead and fell for you,
Im out of vogue, Im out of touch I fell too fast, I feel too much
I thought that you might have some advice to give on how to be
insensitive"

Men really ARENT worth it. Its just painful because we think they are...

Last nite as I was falling asleep I had this inspired image of what I wanted from a true lover...
As I rest on my chest, I want him to play with my hair, stroking it gently. As he cheekily tug on my shorts & he says "I got a lil' bit of energy & strong desire to burn... You know you wanna..."

As I snuggle up to his chest & wrap my arms around his body, I would say "ummm... sure thing baby, let me regain conciousness alil first ok?"

"Nothing doing my lil (insert his favourite animal here)..." And he passionately kisses me all over leaving lil bites. He uses his lips, tongue & hands as only a lover knows how...

"Argh you horny bastid, I'll love you yet!"
(Author's Note: *Sigh* My Imaginatoion Ruins Me)

But his lips and tongue arent the centre of attention, they are not the pinacle of his desire...
He is a seasoned lover & He knows better...
He knows Me better..
For I want to make it last...
For he knows better than to wake me for anything less than amazing sex...
And he expects nothing less...
For he knows I want him to say my name...
To make him mine... again & again...


*I* go for the neck... Licking, Sucking, Biting, Biding time.... Ready for the supprise attack on the *Ears*

And so it plays out... this fantasy of love of mine...

One day when they lock me up in the asylum, please send dildos & lube, ok? Cos I'm truly a horny bastid...



Deiting Advice

Here is a handy dieting tip, if you desire to lose weight, just buy you and your brother a burger daging special tomato each and hang both of them on his door...

He will eat both leaving you with nothing to do but bitch about the situation...

very practical plan!

Friday, June 24, 2005

Touch...

There really are many reasons to touch someone...
And even more not to touch someone...

I cant help but hate being touched at the lower abdomen....
Its as good as shouting "Hey fatso, we all know I'm thinner than you, but lets just confirm it infront of everyone, just because"

I hate being touched by strangers, especially those who I have given no indication of closeness... Their body language is saying "Oh please, please be my friend, oh please give me attention! I'm starving for human contact and i couldnt find anyone else, for now, so just adore me"

When you are feeling down rotten and the world is being a bitch, some people with good intentions will try and console you by stroking your hair, rubbing your shoulders... what ever they think will do you good... Even I'm guilty of it...

But *sometimes*... just sometimes... it just reminds me of how devoid of human contact my life is and how various parties exploit it to their advantage....
ruggy being an expert, when trying to coax me out of a bad day, or being angry at him...

I dont want to be touched.
I dont need to be fondled.
I want to be caressed.

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Thursday, June 23, 2005

Bringing on the Heartache

Some days feel longer than other days.
Some days drag on forever.
Today, Yesterday, Lasterday...
all have been the same...

My Heartaches...

My Heart aches....
Feel my Heartaches...
because of my Heartaches...
I feel pulled by the Heartaches...
When you realize your Heart aches...
who doesnt have any Heart aches...
Constantly your Heart aches...
Another of your Heartaches...
to add to your Heartaches...
Sigh the Heartaches~
O' *Heartaches*


FriendSHIP is priceless

After mulling it over for a day or so, I realized why I really spent more cash on my friend's Abu's prezzie (Refer to the Price of Frienship). Its not the guilt of sleeping with his ex he is still in love with (maybe a lil) or the fact that I'm good hearted (maybe a lil too) but simply because I know the joy he gets from material gains.... and he would do the same for me...

I know his life hasnt always been easy and he is continously battling the odds to go where he wants. The only reason he is where he is today is because he is willing to work extra hard to get what he wants.
He was never born with a silver spoon in his mouth...
He was never mr popular...
He wasnt the smart one in school...
But he is great at what he does.... fantastic even!

Most of my other friends could easily afford the damn fragrance, most of them may already have it.... Splurging on them is like adding needles to hay stacks....

When Abu is busily sifting through the trash cans of Paris to find scraps to eat, at least he will smell N*ice

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

The Price of friendship

How do you put a price on friendship?

Yesterday, it was the birthday of a friend of mine... A pretty dear friend who I see time to time but each time i see him, its almost always entertaining and lively. Sure, sometimes there are the down sides... But more often than not, he & his molty crew can make me laugh, uncontrolably...

He will be heading off to study in Paris soon and so he sort of got birthday presents that also doubled as going away presents:-

Abu: Can I open my prezzies now?
Less Rice: Open mine first! You will love it!

*Abu frantically attempts to rip it open whiles preserving the wrapping paper, not an easy feat to discribe...

Less Rice: Aiiiya... Whats wrong with you.. Let me do it!

*Less Rice proceeds to rip open the present that he just bought Abu...
The wrapping comes off to reveal a palates set in a lil purple box

Abu: Oh...

Less Rice: But look it has a purple DVD, a purple book and a *purple mat*. This way when you are in Paris atleast you know you will have a place to sleep... And you will be the envy of all the street people...

*Abu proceeds to my gift which we just went to buy....

Abu: Look what Jane got *me*

*Abu flashes the BVLGARI AQUA I just bought him.... moment of silence from a table people that are normally never short of comments...
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I did blow a fair amount of money... more than I have recently on myself....

Is it:-
My guilt of sleeping with his ex (& growing fonder each day of) that i know he is still in love with?
The forebearing sense of lost I will have when he goes?
My good heartedness compansating him with materialistic gains?

With these thoughts in my head I said:-
"I have never even spent so much on a gift for any of my boyfriends"

Abu replies "Friends last much longer than any boyfriends....."

I can't help but agree...
With that I feel my destiny is sealed.... I realize the horrible truth that most of us will never truly find companionship from a lover....

*whimper* frozen straberry margaritas anyone?

No...I'll finish the jug then....

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Ahhh.. goats are in the air....

I don't always go all out to find goaty images and other things pertaining to goats.... sometimes they find me...

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www.evilkids.com

check.. check check it out!

A lil abandoned.. But if anything the banner says it all!

Monday, June 20, 2005

Duff Cheating on her diet!

ITS TRUE! I saw him eating food he shouldnt have eaten,

And when i snapped the photo, he looked so guilty...( at least i captured the less testicullar side of him)

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we all know... hamsters suck... especially nuts....

*if only*....

Mutton On The Dance Floor

Some people ask me, "*jane* what do you do for fun?"

I say "I poke fun at goats of course, doesnt everybody?"

Mutton On The Dance Floor
Sophie Ellis Baaxtor

Mutton...It's mutton on the dancefloor,
But you better not kill the goat
Dj,
gonna burn this goatdamn house right down
Oh, I know I know I know I know I know I know
About your kind
And so and so and so and so and so and so
I'll have to play
If you think you're goatting away
I will prove you wrong
I'll take you all the way
Boy, just come along
Hear me when I say *Hay*
It's mutton on the dancefloor
But you better not kill the groove
Hay hay hay hay
It's mutton on the dancefloor
But you better not steal the hooves
Dj, gonna burn this goatdamn house right down
Oh I know I know I know I know I know I know
There may be other (goat)
And so and so and so and so and so and so
You'll just have to pray
If you think your goating away
I will prove you wrong
I'll take you all the way
Stay another song
I'll baaalow you all away
Hay
It's mutton on the dancefloor
But you better not kill the goat
It's mutton on the dancefloor
But you better not steal the hooves
DJ, goatna turn this house around somehow
Mutton on the dancefloor
But you better not kill the goat
Hay, hay hay hay

My English Isnt so bad after all....

So one day as I step out of the lift i cant help but here this 60% cute arab guy trying to shout on the phone...

"I'm regarding the room to let!"
"Can you hear me? I'm regarding the room to let!"
"What is wrong with YOU! Dont YOU speak english?"

How does that peribahasa go?
Gajah di depan mata tak nampak, kuman di rumah jiran nampak
(ya cant see elephants in front of your eyes, but the germs in your neighbours house is clearly visible)

*at least i dont feel so liguistically challenged anymore!

Saturday, June 18, 2005

The Office Story Book

Yawn... Its saturday and I'm working in the storybook company... Most of my work mates seem to have gotten their names out of story books of some sort and then potray the characters badly....

Really It IS!

There is Alice in wonderland

There is Jason who has left the argonauts to spread evil across malaysia

Then how about Jane who was sick and tired of Tarzan and ran off to the big city

There is David who is still battling goliath (the stone just knocked him out awhile)

rose of Sharon is here out of the Grapes of Wrath... simmilarly she whines alot

charlie no longer has his Angel cos she decided she is better off in dir sales

Carrie is all grown up now and just waiting to kill the whole company (we accidentally sent her a brochure telling her the cleansing properties of pig blood)

Winnie decided to poo poo on christopher robin and got kicked out...

numerous other story book characters are hiding out here.. but who cares? I dont....

Thursday, June 16, 2005

My England is Bad?

Maybe its my bosses fault for saying my english was not of superior standard (enough) to write my crappy articles but...

*Sigh* it happened.. I have to admit... The other day i said "My mother is from English"....

*POW* may i stick to baaing? baa..

Yes Its True... I can no longer wear this skirt anymore!

More of a test of this "service provider"..... I am truely a poor lost horny soul...

I almost *almost* cried when i herd how kylie asked everyone to donate money to breast cancer research than send her flowers... go to www. kylie.co.uk

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mek mek... I'm not a goat... *really*