Walking Breakable Glass

I needed a break from KL. Sure all of those flashy queens & bright fags are fun but once in a while its nice to feel the sand between my toes, walk around naked & let things than can flop, well, flop.... But that was not to be so I jumped into the back of my father's 4 wheel drive for a one night trip to Cameron Highlands.

Cameron Highlands is known as one of Malaysia's more peaceful tourist destinations. There is the tea-plantations, veges galore & endless rows of nurseries. Well that and an unbelievably over abundance of straberries. If it was just the fresh stuff I wouldn't bitch but everywhere I turned there was like strawberry tea, dried straberries, strawberry balls, straberry cushions, strawberry candy etc. Are Malaysians truly obsessed with strawberries?

Tea For Two Billion. The Boh Tea Valley.

Holidaying with my dad, my mum, etc. Sure we have our disagreements but a few well placed words and every thing went pretty fine.

Eg,

Father: I can't believe your brother! Doesn't even stop playing computer games for 5 minutes to talk to his father that bla bla bla......

Androjane: Wait! If we are going to Hang, i mean spend time togather, I will not listen to this crap anymore. If you have a problem with him go tell it to him. Don't take it out on the child who actually made an effort to spend time with you. I'm sick of listening about how the other children have done you wrong.

*Horrified "how disrespectful!" from everyone*

Perillious Ponder. Here we have the same tea plantation, only with an idiot sitting on a dead log that is SO likely to roll down the hill & squash him.

And so the 36 hours or so progressed pretty much in that manner. It was one refreshing holiday. Either that or the smell of all that wholesome organic strawberry fertilizer, chicken dung in the highland air was making me delirious. It was plentiful in the market with some very suggestive plants.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Cacti are just so imagination-stimulating. I'd use to have hundreds of them, but no, I never sat on any of them... Intentionally or otherwise.

Tell tall tales.

The lady selling this one called it ekor kucing (cat's tail) but I am sure its named the pleasure plant. Quick shave it with a razor...

50 yen I put microphone in mouth...

One thing I normally do with my father on holiday is have late night drinks at the hotel's bar. Usually this would involve some tacky-no-class-Filipino-tramp dressed in last year's discount christmas ornaments. This time it was different. There were two of them. Whiles the one with tallent played the keyboard (not featured) the other jiggled her hips and occasionally the tambourine. The only reason she is featured is cos she a very promotive rendition of that Bee Gee's song "You love my boody... I love your mooney, baby you don't know what its like..."

I wanted to shout "But I do know how to simulate oral sex with inanimate objects!" But yeah, my father wasn't drunk enough yet.

Its much bigger than it looks on the internet, I swear!

On our way down we stopped at Lata Kijang Waterfalll. Its really big & nice, not the artificial cement monstrosity it seems like.There are supposed to be streams of warm water from thermal vents inside. But I have to doubt it a little since you could get the same effect by peeing into the waterfall.

Shallow waters.

This me on the bridge. It has a really weird kinda unique peaceful feel.