The fortune teller who hates goats
From a distance I saw this turban bobbing up and down as I was smoking outside my office on Friday....
"Hello, I see your forehead I know you are very lucky!"
"Excuse Me?" Yeah, I'm very lucky cos I can rent it out as a billboard. Outdoor advertising is profitable like that.
"Yes! It is true, your forehead comes out so you are very lucky! And you see those 3 lines going across your forehead mean LPT!"
EEEeek! I DO NOT HAVE THREE LINES ACROSS MY FOREHEAD! My forehead is free of lines! My forehead is cute ! My forehead is Adorable! So I don't need your LPT just some good moisturizer... "Look man, I'm not interested I'm just smoking in peace here."
"But you are so lucky! Here, this date will be lucky for you!" He proceeds to scrible 3/2/06 - 3/3/06. "This is when you will be most lucky. All the problems you are facing now will go away. If you want help to become lucky, you can give me some money to pray, you know pray..."
I want YOU to go away. And you better say your prayers if we talk about my *cute* forehead again. "Listen..."
He quickly scribbles on a piece of paper, crumple's it and hands it to me. "Here, take this and don't open it. We will try something. How old are you?"
Ohh goody I like guessing games... "25" And I will stay 25 for many years to come!
"And what is your favourite color?"
Oh oh oh here starts the fun part "Dunhill red."
"..."
"Sort of maroon..with a hint of blood red"
"Blue issit?"
"No, RED!"
"Ok. How about animals? What domestic animals are lucky for you? What animals follow you about alot?"
Yes! Bingo! "Goats! Goats are lucky and goats follow me about!"
"Not goats. International animals. Those that are domestic"
"Hamsters! I like hamsters!"
*Blank stare* "What are those?"
"Look I mean those small fuzzy rodents that look like rats without tails... Big front teeth..."
*Extra blank stare*
"You can hold them in your hand.. And pet them... The look so ccuuuuuute when they are eating..."
"How about another animal?"
"Goats.."
"You said goats already!" He writes GOT down on his little notebook.
Spoilsport. Hmph "Sigh... Chickens then"
"No I said animal with 4 legs" *Sounds a bit pissy* "you know animals in your house have 4 legs and stay close to you! Follow you about everywhere you go"
"Are you sure goats don't count cos I really can't think of any domesticated animal that follows me anywhere, with 4 legs... and 4 hoofs even"
"LOOK HERE!" He is almost screaching. He quickly jots down 2 next to GOT and proceeds to write 3, DOG, 4, CAT below that to look like ~
2 Got
3 Dog
4 Cat
He then cancels 2 GOT. I frown. Hope my 3 lines aren't showing again...
"So which number is more lucky or do you like 3 or 4"
"4 is not good for chinese so 3"
He cancels 4 CAT. "Now OPEN THAT PAPER AND TELL ME WHAT IT SAYS! If it is the same, you will believe me and let me pray for you. Give me 30 dollars and I will pray for your good luck!"
How novel praying for luck. Why did you pray for some luck of your own. AND Oh please of course you got me to say what is written on this paper "Oh gee look! Its the same! Wow!"
"So you give me money I pray for you?"
"No! I already told you not to waste your time" Pufffff pufff
"Ok then. But how about something small to help me"
"Sure why not" That was so fucking entertaining. I didn't even tell you how I don't believe in Goat. "Here's 10 & happy selling!"
... Besides, it will make one hell of a post for all my darling darling readers... (Or is that reader?)
This could be the very minute
I'm aware I'm alive
All these places feel like home
With a name I'd never chosen
I can make my first steps
As a child of 25
This is the straw, final straw in the
Roof of my mouth as I lie to you
Just because I'm sorry doesn't mean
I didn't enjoy it at the time
Snow Patrol~ Chocolate
posted by AJ @ 5:19 PM
12 Comments:
Yes, interesting posts for us indeed.
And I assure you, you have readerS. ;P
hahah... that was funny. dunhill red and hamster. genius!
OMG... I think I met that man several years back in USJ. I was so impressed I gave him all of 20 sen, which he wouldn't accept and instead started cursing me. I did say no at the start and he did say any amount I think is fair, so he really had nothing to complain about!
derek: Pseudoscience is much fun when you know the rules. We are all programed to give standard cat dog answers... Unless goats are a factor!
Hello Ash! Indeed it was funny to see him get pissed at my not so common answers! Do try it at home kids...
Weeshiong~ 20 cents is more than fair. Its just i didnt want him to go scratch my car cos I've seen him lurking about and he may have seen me lurking about. Fortunetellers have amazing memories.
What a cool fortune teller! Why didn't you ask some of the more lurid details of your future? :O
paul
aaaaawwwww... you guys are so cccuuttteeee.. u know, we guys could start a show together.. $$$$.
Paul~ I was tempted to ask him what kind of partner he saw me with.. But really, I didn't want to tempt fate...
1d~ Sure! But we have to make sure my forehead looks adorable on camera first!
Oh you're so going to hell. See you there!
hehehe money talks!!!!!! hahah
Tete~ Money indeed talks! With enough money, you will always have good luck!
I can call you Tete can't I? Lol
Cool blog, interesting information... Keep it UP »
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