M'sian Urban Legends III : The Hungry Ghost Festival & AJ’s Familiars
All hell has been let loose! 
According to Chinese folklore, the gates of hell were opened last Saturday. Every year, on the 15th day of the 7th month on the Chinese lunar calendar, starved souls will be let out of hell to have fun, food & be merry. Mothers will warn their good little daughters to come home after dark because ‘its just not safe’. Even if the good girls can’t get out to party, there are plenty of activities for the bad boys & girls.
Although most of the festivities held are meant to entertain the ghosts, they are also somewhat popular with the not so dead. Through out the night there are ceremonies, feasts, auctions, opera, performers & even movies shown in the streets. This is just a lil bit of folklore in line with my first & second set of urban legends.
Well, everybody needs to get away from hell once in a while, even if it is to go to another hell hole. Thus for 4 days, Androjane will be away from the internet, out of town on business. Thus to keep myself & to some lesser extent my readers entertained, I had an amazing idea. In the spirit of the Hungry Ghost Festival I have lined up four of my closest & favorite familiars to entertain you guys. From Thursday to Sunday, there will be a new and sexy non-blogger everyday to entertain you.
Thursday’s rant will be from my craftiest Toyol (A Toyol being the spirit of a dead fetus kept to steal precious stuff for you). A slut in his own right, this Toyol has been employed to bring me boys. Precious precious boys. And why not? With enough worldly possessions, all I need are shiny men. Unlike other Toyols that need to be fed blood (preferably from soiled pads), I often just get him other precious boys in exchange. It is good to have friends with different tastes.
Friday’s guest is a satyr (Half man- half goat). Yes indeed, who could this subversive & antagonistic symbol of the devil be? The only thing more vile than his mischief spinning hooves is his vile venomous tongue. Ever the whiney bitch, ever the harsh voice of reason, he always delivers, lots and lots of sarcasm. He is certainly my great companion which lives to the bleat of his own drum. Even I fear what he will spew, he will entertainly entertain.
Saturday’s slot belongs to a modern day witch. Not the old hag with the pointy hat & warts at the end of her nose, this is a witch on wheels. She doesn’t ride a broom but is infamous for casting spells on men. Even the most rock hard objects turn into quivering flaccid puddles in her magical hands. Potions? Ointments? she has a few. Even connections with the Devil himself she has too. She is the female Androjane.
Watch out boys because on Sunday we will hear from a celestial fairy. The legend goes that a fisherman chances upon a heavenly fairy bathing in a lake with her clothes on the lakeside. The bugger steals her clothes so she can’t fly back to heaven. The fairy has no option but to give in & marry the sonofab*tch and bear him children. This fairy is smart and hasn’t been caught yet. She still is flying the friendly skies mesmerizing all men (and some women) in her path. What ever will her legacy be?
Given the freedom of speech, I wonder what mischief each of them will bring to my blog. Nude men? Topless shots? Lurid sexcapades? Deep buried emotions? Mindless banter? OoooOOoo! I’m excited! Aren’t ya?
According to Chinese folklore, the gates of hell were opened last Saturday. Every year, on the 15th day of the 7th month on the Chinese lunar calendar, starved souls will be let out of hell to have fun, food & be merry. Mothers will warn their good little daughters to come home after dark because ‘its just not safe’. Even if the good girls can’t get out to party, there are plenty of activities for the bad boys & girls.
Although most of the festivities held are meant to entertain the ghosts, they are also somewhat popular with the not so dead. Through out the night there are ceremonies, feasts, auctions, opera, performers & even movies shown in the streets. This is just a lil bit of folklore in line with my first & second set of urban legends.
Well, everybody needs to get away from hell once in a while, even if it is to go to another hell hole. Thus for 4 days, Androjane will be away from the internet, out of town on business. Thus to keep myself & to some lesser extent my readers entertained, I had an amazing idea. In the spirit of the Hungry Ghost Festival I have lined up four of my closest & favorite familiars to entertain you guys. From Thursday to Sunday, there will be a new and sexy non-blogger everyday to entertain you.
Thursday’s rant will be from my craftiest Toyol (A Toyol being the spirit of a dead fetus kept to steal precious stuff for you). A slut in his own right, this Toyol has been employed to bring me boys. Precious precious boys. And why not? With enough worldly possessions, all I need are shiny men. Unlike other Toyols that need to be fed blood (preferably from soiled pads), I often just get him other precious boys in exchange. It is good to have friends with different tastes.
Friday’s guest is a satyr (Half man- half goat). Yes indeed, who could this subversive & antagonistic symbol of the devil be? The only thing more vile than his mischief spinning hooves is his vile venomous tongue. Ever the whiney bitch, ever the harsh voice of reason, he always delivers, lots and lots of sarcasm. He is certainly my great companion which lives to the bleat of his own drum. Even I fear what he will spew, he will entertainly entertain.
Saturday’s slot belongs to a modern day witch. Not the old hag with the pointy hat & warts at the end of her nose, this is a witch on wheels. She doesn’t ride a broom but is infamous for casting spells on men. Even the most rock hard objects turn into quivering flaccid puddles in her magical hands. Potions? Ointments? she has a few. Even connections with the Devil himself she has too. She is the female Androjane.
Watch out boys because on Sunday we will hear from a celestial fairy. The legend goes that a fisherman chances upon a heavenly fairy bathing in a lake with her clothes on the lakeside. The bugger steals her clothes so she can’t fly back to heaven. The fairy has no option but to give in & marry the sonofab*tch and bear him children. This fairy is smart and hasn’t been caught yet. She still is flying the friendly skies mesmerizing all men (and some women) in her path. What ever will her legacy be?
Given the freedom of speech, I wonder what mischief each of them will bring to my blog. Nude men? Topless shots? Lurid sexcapades? Deep buried emotions? Mindless banter? OoooOOoo! I’m excited! Aren’t ya?
posted by AJ @ 10:50 PM
6 Comments:
wait.. the gates haven't open yet lar.. duhz... It is chinese lunar calendar not the western one.. DUHZ>...
God, who are all these guests?
Paul
famezgay~ they coincide mar this year!
jason~ Oh jason I missed you!!
paul~ they are some of my bestest friends who don't have blogs that i know about.. heh
and how are they gonna entertain your readers???
anyway, i think by the time u saw this u may already be on your trip.
and so the comment/question is totally unnecesary (dont care bout the spelling ok!)
and also by the end of it, it's MONDAY which is one of the most important war in NotrohWoods, yes, the final battle with Exam-Evil.
now THIS is about ME ME ME!
dont u love copycats :)
Xavier~ I'm having my last peep at my comments. Sniff sniff.. I'm gonna miss my blog! So much! And I haven't the foggiest clue how they will entertain, all I know is they better do a good job! lol
duh? nolar.. now still 6th month of lunar calender lor..
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