Tits The Season To Be Jolly- The Twisted 10 Simple Pleasures MeMe

MyFav Furry (not like I know any others), tagged me for this MeMe more than 2 weeks ago. And that is how long it took me to think of a way to twist it. I mean there is nothing wrong with simple pleasures, its just that I”VE SEEN THEM ALL BEFORE! So in the spirit of all things inane,

My Top 10 List Of Simple Ways To Annoy People

*Oh Joy*

1. Singing Britney Spears’ songs!
Oh Baby, Baby how was I supposed to know? I couldn’t stand Britney either until one day I realized that her songs annoy the pants off many people. The other day I was stuck in a car when the driver decided we all should listen to BLUE! F*ck BLUE! If you wanna do something bad, do it really bad!

*I’m noooot a girl, not yet a woooman, all I need is timeeee…*

2. Hey Mr DJ play my song!
Play my song over & over & over again! This ancient form of torture is very time consuming but can slowly drive anyone nuts. Better still if the song has a repetitive beat. But even the most skilled torturer can go nuts himself.

3. Pokey-Man!
Even if a person is not ticklish, there is nothing as infuriating as having someone jab a finger in to his side. *Poke* *Poke* Almost ready to go to the market & sell, eh porky?

4. My name is Mojo Jojo! (You can refer to me as Mojo Jojo.)
Redundant repetition indeed exasperates like nothing else. It doesn’t even have to be a song. It can be the latest catch phrase or something as simple as how? How if someone uses it against you? How? How? How? Just give it back in a even shriller extra nasally voice. Hooow? Hooow? Hooow?

5 year olds know best.
“But WHY Mummy? WHY? WHY is it so? WHY?” ‘Nuf said.

6. Hoity Toity Are We?
Nothing to do with the penguins, this technique involves identifying a person’s favorite key words & saying it with a fake British accent “____ are we? Would you like a cup of tea with that? Or maybe some scones with marmalade?”

7. Munchies!
Chewing with your mouth open, followed by burping and then farting can be most disgusting. It bothers the most uptight people, even if they are natural body functions.

8. Never the loser!
Conversations are mostly battles of wit. Just because I can’t win every battle doesn’t mean I have to lose. The key is to redirect the attention long enough until you reach a topic that the other party is willing to debate but you know you can win. Sort of like looking for driving aimlessly in the city until you find a landmark. “What’s the capital of Chile? Chile? As in chili crabs? Do you know where they have the best chili crabs (other than Penang)?”

9. Name That Animal!
I’ve made giving people animal signs. Animal signs which they really hate. The animal cannot be glamorous, the animal cannot be sexy. The animal is at best a pest. Just ask Goaty Woaty, Hammy Hamster, Flamingo Boy & doesn’t have enough personality to be an animal- Weed.

10. Its always my party!
If at any moment the urge becomes me or when the topic of conversation gets dry, I always try to relate & talk about more important thing.
“The tribes men hunting wild boar you say? Did you know *I* have hunted wild boar myself? Its most thrilling & they do taste nice (just like me)”

So maybe that’s all a lil childish, but just means is that I’m still youthful at heart… Heh