AndroJane: Employee of the Month!
I have narrowed down the possible reasons why I got a bigger pay check !
I have good people managing skills & can get subordinates to focus on projects.
(A conversation with KiKi, the graphic designer)
KiKi: Cold-la this room! My fingers numb, how to type?
AJ: You wear such slutty clothes, what do you expect?
KiKi: Hmph! You also what! Never button you’re the button on your shirt…
*KiKi proceeds to type furiously, heating up her body & forgetting the coldness of the office.*
I am talented at motivating outside parties to complete projects in a timely fashion. (Maybe this would be a good time to mention my company has hired a pink web consultant to assist with our corporate cyber dreams. He blogs too.)
AJ (Glares bitchfully): Hey Barbie! Why the f*cking project so slow? I tell my Boss you’re a c*ck sucking faggot than only you know…
Barbie (Flips hair defiantly): Please-LA, I will tell her that YOU are a c*ck sucking faggot too..
AJ: Heh. Just don’t be late ok?
I am work proficiently with other departments & always give constructive comments. (Friendly pantry conversation with Polly, the office cum-wh*re)
Polly: When will you be available for discussions pertaining this matter?
AJ: Lets see…. *ramble for 1 minute*… about 6-ish tomorrow, after work would be best provide you have collected all the necessary data from the internet, discussed the situation with the other departments, run it by the bosses, drafted the mock ideas, filled in all the standard forms & made copies for our reference. And by the way, I think that skirt makes you look not so slim. (Rather YOU make that skirt look fat).
I use my extensive network of friends for the betterment of the company. (A phone call to Dr Goat on a cold rainy morning)
AJ: Help! Help! HeeEEEeeeelllp! I’m TOO LAZY TO WORK TODAY!! I NEED TO SLEEP IN. I’ve already called in sick so you have to give me an MC! I’m gonna sleep first and pop by later to come up with some elaborate medical excuse. You’re my bestest bestest friend in the whole wide world. Thanks!
Dr Goat: Mumble Mumble…. Bestest friend in my whole wide *ss…
Then there is how I use my “hands on approach” to help other employees with their burdens. (Rehearsals with Cutesy Buttes)
Cutesy Buttes: Hey, how to say this scientist’s name properly?
AJ: Its WAR-JACK_KEY. War as in the pointless fighting between Israel & Lebanon. Jack as in Jack off & Key as in hung like a donkey.
Cutesy Buttes (Blur Look): Thanks!
AJ: No Prob… (*Pat* *Pat *Pat * Yeap. On that *ss)
I SOO should’ve gotten a raise much earlier! Hmph!
I have good people managing skills & can get subordinates to focus on projects.
(A conversation with KiKi, the graphic designer)
KiKi: Cold-la this room! My fingers numb, how to type?
AJ: You wear such slutty clothes, what do you expect?
KiKi: Hmph! You also what! Never button you’re the button on your shirt…
*KiKi proceeds to type furiously, heating up her body & forgetting the coldness of the office.*
I am talented at motivating outside parties to complete projects in a timely fashion. (Maybe this would be a good time to mention my company has hired a pink web consultant to assist with our corporate cyber dreams. He blogs too.)
AJ (Glares bitchfully): Hey Barbie! Why the f*cking project so slow? I tell my Boss you’re a c*ck sucking faggot than only you know…
Barbie (Flips hair defiantly): Please-LA, I will tell her that YOU are a c*ck sucking faggot too..
AJ: Heh. Just don’t be late ok?
I am work proficiently with other departments & always give constructive comments. (Friendly pantry conversation with Polly, the office cum-wh*re)
Polly: When will you be available for discussions pertaining this matter?
AJ: Lets see…. *ramble for 1 minute*… about 6-ish tomorrow, after work would be best provide you have collected all the necessary data from the internet, discussed the situation with the other departments, run it by the bosses, drafted the mock ideas, filled in all the standard forms & made copies for our reference. And by the way, I think that skirt makes you look not so slim. (Rather YOU make that skirt look fat).
I use my extensive network of friends for the betterment of the company. (A phone call to Dr Goat on a cold rainy morning)
AJ: Help! Help! HeeEEEeeeelllp! I’m TOO LAZY TO WORK TODAY!! I NEED TO SLEEP IN. I’ve already called in sick so you have to give me an MC! I’m gonna sleep first and pop by later to come up with some elaborate medical excuse. You’re my bestest bestest friend in the whole wide world. Thanks!
Dr Goat: Mumble Mumble…. Bestest friend in my whole wide *ss…
Then there is how I use my “hands on approach” to help other employees with their burdens. (Rehearsals with Cutesy Buttes)
Cutesy Buttes: Hey, how to say this scientist’s name properly?
AJ: Its WAR-JACK_KEY. War as in the pointless fighting between Israel & Lebanon. Jack as in Jack off & Key as in hung like a donkey.
Cutesy Buttes (Blur Look): Thanks!
AJ: No Prob… (*Pat* *Pat *Pat * Yeap. On that *ss)
I SOO should’ve gotten a raise much earlier! Hmph!
posted by AJ @ 2:13 PM
7 Comments:
or simply because u give go heads .... as in ideas and all ! *wink*
aiyar.. u deserved the raise lar .. not watsoeva reason needed !
Now, where can i redeem my kalots ?
Hahahah. At least things get done. :P
Wah, so humble. With all that good qualities of yours, you shouldn't just get a raise, you should be promoted! Seriously!
aw.. more money to spend on megasale!
kw~ I have so many hidden talents. I can't share all of them, can I?
ed~ come kl and you can have all the kalots u wan
defiant~ yes lots get done... ;o)
harvey~ more money is actually satisfying than a promotion!
famez~ already spent! heh
whoaa... a raise.
and a good worker. nice. i think i need to find a good doctor friend la. for the emergency cold rainy workday morning.
where to find one ha?
I have mine get your own!
*Sneer's in Paul's direction*
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