Malaysia's Top Urban Legends
I was bitter for most of Valentine's Day. But lets not go there cos it was silly how upset I got, even though I told myself I its just a day, just an ordinary day... The drama queen in me couldnt handle all the pretty happy couples & bitched at gay boys... Sorry Wil, Goat & everyone else that got within my firing range.
Moving away from that, they were airing the movie "Urban Legends" on TV and it made me think of a few of the local urban legends I've been eager to post. Some are just weird, some scary & some plain gross.
Moving away from that, they were airing the movie "Urban Legends" on TV and it made me think of a few of the local urban legends I've been eager to post. Some are just weird, some scary & some plain gross.
Weird- Pontianak BerKancil Merah (Vampire in the red compact car)
About 10 years ago, the hot topic of conversation was about this Pontianak that drove a red Kancil.
For those who don't know, a Pontianak is sort of like a vampire. When a women dies at child birth, her spirit is so disturbed that she becomes blood thirsty and goes on a killing spree. Fortunately the simplest way to stop one in her tracks is to flash your boobs at her. As the pontianak is no longer "a real woman", she gets shy and runs away. People without boobs, just use fire. As for the Kancil *Shudder* its a locally made compact car which can be parked in away it that it looks like ther is an empty lot but there's not. In short, it annoys all other drivers.
So the story begins with a girl who keeping up with modern times, orders a white Kancil to better slut herself. Unfortunately she gets a red one and being overly dramatic about it she some how died a dramatic death. Within her enchanted car, she would appear beautiful but when she stepped out, she would look all maggoty & rotten. She proceeded to drive around Malaysia in her cute little Kancil at night, offering rides of terror to school kids. We used to get "unofficial reports" about her sightings. I always kept a look out for red Kancils but most of the drivers had maggoty complexions....
Scary- Shopping Frenzy
One of the most popular shopping complexes in Kuala Lumpur city is Sugei Wang (River of Money). It is built like a maze & is always packed. With narrow endless corridors & hidden walkways, it so confusing that I have never entered & left from the same entrance. But why do people go there? It has cheap clothes, handphones & dvds galore!
One day, the cousin of a friend goes shopping there with his girlfriend (isn't this how all urban legends start?). And as he turns the corner he realizes his babe is missing. His calmly asumes that she was just distracted by a pretty Hello Kitty Mini Skirt turns into a frantic search when he is unable to find her. One day later, when she does not make her way back home to her family, he lodges a police report, but to no avail.
After 1 week of frustrated searches & dead-end phone calls, he hires a private investigator to track the love of his life down. She is then reported to be in a stinky house in remote part of indonesia. With a gang of close friends, he breaks in to discover her drugged and locked up in a house with other women. Presumably used a sex slave, she can recognize him but is unable to communicate. Without must of a fight, the evil bastard that kidnap her allows her to go back to the safely of Beloved Malaysia. The rest of the details are sketchy, but isnt it freaky?
Gross- Headless Squid (Sotong)
Do you like seafood? I do, as do many others. But some lonely fishermen, oil rig workers & container ship workers apparently like squid in another way. It can get lonely out on in the sea without any women (or so we know from the many sailor-porn flicks). So when they get lonely, sea men will go out fishing for squid. Once they catch a lively squid, they will pull its head off & stick their Willies into it. As the squid is cold blooded, it will continue to pulsate & squirm, providing much needed relief. And once the deed is done, the fisherman will proceed to stick the head back on the squid & add it to the usual catch. This isnt too difficult as there is a load of natural glue inside. And that is why you shouldn't eat headless squids.
Wanna hear more? I know tons of stories like these.....
For those who don't know, a Pontianak is sort of like a vampire. When a women dies at child birth, her spirit is so disturbed that she becomes blood thirsty and goes on a killing spree. Fortunately the simplest way to stop one in her tracks is to flash your boobs at her. As the pontianak is no longer "a real woman", she gets shy and runs away. People without boobs, just use fire. As for the Kancil *Shudder* its a locally made compact car which can be parked in away it that it looks like ther is an empty lot but there's not. In short, it annoys all other drivers.
So the story begins with a girl who keeping up with modern times, orders a white Kancil to better slut herself. Unfortunately she gets a red one and being overly dramatic about it she some how died a dramatic death. Within her enchanted car, she would appear beautiful but when she stepped out, she would look all maggoty & rotten. She proceeded to drive around Malaysia in her cute little Kancil at night, offering rides of terror to school kids. We used to get "unofficial reports" about her sightings. I always kept a look out for red Kancils but most of the drivers had maggoty complexions....
Scary- Shopping Frenzy
One of the most popular shopping complexes in Kuala Lumpur city is Sugei Wang (River of Money). It is built like a maze & is always packed. With narrow endless corridors & hidden walkways, it so confusing that I have never entered & left from the same entrance. But why do people go there? It has cheap clothes, handphones & dvds galore!
One day, the cousin of a friend goes shopping there with his girlfriend (isn't this how all urban legends start?). And as he turns the corner he realizes his babe is missing. His calmly asumes that she was just distracted by a pretty Hello Kitty Mini Skirt turns into a frantic search when he is unable to find her. One day later, when she does not make her way back home to her family, he lodges a police report, but to no avail.
After 1 week of frustrated searches & dead-end phone calls, he hires a private investigator to track the love of his life down. She is then reported to be in a stinky house in remote part of indonesia. With a gang of close friends, he breaks in to discover her drugged and locked up in a house with other women. Presumably used a sex slave, she can recognize him but is unable to communicate. Without must of a fight, the evil bastard that kidnap her allows her to go back to the safely of Beloved Malaysia. The rest of the details are sketchy, but isnt it freaky?
Gross- Headless Squid (Sotong)
Do you like seafood? I do, as do many others. But some lonely fishermen, oil rig workers & container ship workers apparently like squid in another way. It can get lonely out on in the sea without any women (or so we know from the many sailor-porn flicks). So when they get lonely, sea men will go out fishing for squid. Once they catch a lively squid, they will pull its head off & stick their Willies into it. As the squid is cold blooded, it will continue to pulsate & squirm, providing much needed relief. And once the deed is done, the fisherman will proceed to stick the head back on the squid & add it to the usual catch. This isnt too difficult as there is a load of natural glue inside. And that is why you shouldn't eat headless squids.
Wanna hear more? I know tons of stories like these.....
Just a day,
Just an ordinary day.
Just tryin to get by.
Just a boy,
Just an ordinary boy.
But he was looking towards the sky.
And as he asked if I would come along
I started to realize-
That everyday you find
Just what he's looking for,
A pulsating headless squid...
AJ feat Vanessa Carton~ Ordinary Day
posted by AJ @ 10:14 AM
17 Comments:
Okay, yeah, the headless quid is gross. :oD So tell some more. :o)
Aiyo! Where do you get these stories!
Paul
eww.... i just had calamari!!!!! *runs to the toilet bowl n puke*
hrugaar~ Headless quid? The queen will not be amused!
savante~ Listening to some of the strangest people! I'm sure you could add to my collection
1d~ Just make sure its small sotongs....
You gonna scared the whole plu community la with these Urban Legends.
The first one was hilarious!
The second was like...umm..okay..
And the third was so gross..I don't think I ever wanna try squid.. (never have..somethin' abt that word..squidddddd...)
I like crabs though..hope noone ever wanks off in my crab!
oohh... yummy tasty squid...
slurp slurp
tete~ Nothing can scare our iron ladies la
jups~ I hope no one ever does either... would end up in very painful & elaborate surgery
canard~ I knew you would...wink
Urban Legends is a top film. In fact I'm in the mood to watch it now you mentioned it.
Loving the stories, more of them please :)
some ppl hv small willies... ('',")
some ppl hv small willies... ('',")
some ppl hv small willies... ('',")
some ppl hv small willies.. :/
oooppssss... i tot it didn't show.. sorry
Let's see... where can I get some headless Scandinavian squid... or maybe some nice French squid... or oooh, some Italian and Spanish squid!
-goes shopping-
Wonderful and informative web site. I used information from that site its great. Purevision contact lens order contact lense What is the drug zocor used for dealer lexus tustin Whirlpool fridge freezer art 500 9g Cleaners vacuum water Blackberry manuals Marvel downloading wallpaper backgrounds for computer Xerox plotters Acura 32 cl for sale Ultram+side+effects+28
At the time she was five strokes behind traffic, anyway.
Always check if they have completed any projects similar to yours
or not7. Basically just set it and forget it.
Also, not all articles can or should be written down and the list should be build
up. With services such as traffic, SEM, social media marketing, and even highly regarded authoritative websites.
Preventive crawling is another weapon Traffic firms have on hand.
Even with all the paper--the original envelope, letter, paperwork---they sent you.
Here is my homepage: search engine optimization keywords
Post a Comment
<< Home