Where Is My Comfort Zone?
This is something a lil more private for me to remember this day & be thankful for what i hopefully will achieve in the future. Very whiny & self absorbed none the less...
7.56 am ~ Out of bed. Oh F*ck, today, just like every day if I dont move my fat ass fast enough, I'll be late for work...
7.58 am ~ "The washing machine is broken AGAIN... this time its the door. Please be more careful when you use it, like I told you.." says the sister. "Ok" replied the brother who was too busy to argue the possibility that even though he put in the laundry last, she was the one who opened it...
8.48 am ~ In time for work. First fake smile "Morning, Little Boss"
9.03 am ~ My first love letter arrives, hand delivered none the less. Time to get cracking at inserting Caps as in Nobel Prize Winner.... (yes Laureate is too difficult a word to comprehend). And correcting words like "researches", as in scientists...
9.20 am ~ Baa, call you later ok your goatyness, during my half hour window between work & class.
10.00 am ~ "AJ, this months write-up is the same as the last few. How about something new?" New I can do. Or rather I have tried to do before but was shot down faster than a light weight aircraft near the Pentagon. Whatever. Its only work!
11.oo am ~ "Hey, you falling sick issit? Want to take some vitamin C" Maybe its just a cough. Maybe its tuberculosis. I won't f*cking touch those damn pills. Over priced even at staff price.
12.30 am ~ "Hello? Free today for lunch AJ?" Hell not today. Not when I have this tripe to sort out. Second fake smile, not today how bout tomorrow?
1.13 pm ~ Some peace. My roast pork rice in one hand, Suburban Jungle on the PC & DaVinci Code in the other hand. Time for some peace...
1.17 pm ~ "Ring! Ring! AJ, Britney isn't in your room, is she?" Third fake smile. Oh F*cking course not she isnt here. Even I'm not suppose to be here.
1.20 pm ~ "AJ! Help me I dunno how to calculate this. Is it me or is it a printing mistake?" FourthThird fake smile. ITS F*CKing both! No such thing as lunch break, is there? One hour where I'm supposed to eat but instead I have to teach you basic g to mg conversions?
3.13 pm~ Yes dad, no dad, yes dad. You go ahead on your holiday, I have work & classes.... Run around with you and your whore? I would rather swallow a sea urchin!
4.30 pm ~ Gigi, If I don't make it in tomorrow, make sure everything proceeds smoothly ok? Oh please oh please let me fall really sick. AJ cant take much more of this....
4.45 pm ~ Hello big boss, just checking on the progress of the article.... Rewrite you say... Fifth fake smile. Ok, I collect it.
5.55 pm ~ "AJ, I would like to speak to you now." Ok big boss, your timing is always perfect. Work is about to end & I have only half an hour to get to class. "But AJ, you are rather lacking in skill & because of it, I have to do double work." n-th Fake smile. "Can we discuss this tomorrow morning? I have a class to rush to."
6.15 pm ~ Hey babe, hows my darling doing? Oh busy huh? Nevermind then... Talk to you later or something...
6.30 pm ~ "You Lied! You said you would call! You are just like all the other men!..." Look, I barely got out of work in time to grab dinner to eat in the car, in the jam looking for parking, for the class I'm late for, and I can't deal with this bs right now. I'm gonna f*cking cry I tell ya. Talk to you later ok..
6.45 pm ~ "Tonite I thought I torture you guys a bit since its meant to be a double class." Oh yawn... Nothing you could ever say to me could be as bad as the things I have to put up with everyday.
6.59 pm ~ "Dear Mr Lecturer, for MY project, we were wondering if its ok to add extra photos..." Millionth fake smile. F*cking show off. I say "well I could cancel the brazillian wax models..."
8.03 pm ~ "Ring! Ring!" Its Ruggy. Hey lover, I'm in class will be out at 10.00 or so. NOT LIKE I DIDNT TELL YOU YESTERDAY, Twice. And twice the day before that when you "yalllah~ yallah I herd ya the first time". Why do I even bother?
7.56 am ~ Out of bed. Oh F*ck, today, just like every day if I dont move my fat ass fast enough, I'll be late for work...
7.58 am ~ "The washing machine is broken AGAIN... this time its the door. Please be more careful when you use it, like I told you.." says the sister. "Ok" replied the brother who was too busy to argue the possibility that even though he put in the laundry last, she was the one who opened it...
8.48 am ~ In time for work. First fake smile "Morning, Little Boss"
9.03 am ~ My first love letter arrives, hand delivered none the less. Time to get cracking at inserting Caps as in Nobel Prize Winner.... (yes Laureate is too difficult a word to comprehend). And correcting words like "researches", as in scientists...
9.20 am ~ Baa, call you later ok your goatyness, during my half hour window between work & class.
10.00 am ~ "AJ, this months write-up is the same as the last few. How about something new?" New I can do. Or rather I have tried to do before but was shot down faster than a light weight aircraft near the Pentagon. Whatever. Its only work!
11.oo am ~ "Hey, you falling sick issit? Want to take some vitamin C" Maybe its just a cough. Maybe its tuberculosis. I won't f*cking touch those damn pills. Over priced even at staff price.
12.30 am ~ "Hello? Free today for lunch AJ?" Hell not today. Not when I have this tripe to sort out. Second fake smile, not today how bout tomorrow?
1.13 pm ~ Some peace. My roast pork rice in one hand, Suburban Jungle on the PC & DaVinci Code in the other hand. Time for some peace...
1.17 pm ~ "Ring! Ring! AJ, Britney isn't in your room, is she?" Third fake smile. Oh F*cking course not she isnt here. Even I'm not suppose to be here.
1.20 pm ~ "AJ! Help me I dunno how to calculate this. Is it me or is it a printing mistake?" FourthThird fake smile. ITS F*CKing both! No such thing as lunch break, is there? One hour where I'm supposed to eat but instead I have to teach you basic g to mg conversions?
3.13 pm~ Yes dad, no dad, yes dad. You go ahead on your holiday, I have work & classes.... Run around with you and your whore? I would rather swallow a sea urchin!
4.30 pm ~ Gigi, If I don't make it in tomorrow, make sure everything proceeds smoothly ok? Oh please oh please let me fall really sick. AJ cant take much more of this....
4.45 pm ~ Hello big boss, just checking on the progress of the article.... Rewrite you say... Fifth fake smile. Ok, I collect it.
5.55 pm ~ "AJ, I would like to speak to you now." Ok big boss, your timing is always perfect. Work is about to end & I have only half an hour to get to class. "But AJ, you are rather lacking in skill & because of it, I have to do double work." n-th Fake smile. "Can we discuss this tomorrow morning? I have a class to rush to."
6.15 pm ~ Hey babe, hows my darling doing? Oh busy huh? Nevermind then... Talk to you later or something...
6.30 pm ~ "You Lied! You said you would call! You are just like all the other men!..." Look, I barely got out of work in time to grab dinner to eat in the car, in the jam looking for parking, for the class I'm late for, and I can't deal with this bs right now. I'm gonna f*cking cry I tell ya. Talk to you later ok..
6.45 pm ~ "Tonite I thought I torture you guys a bit since its meant to be a double class." Oh yawn... Nothing you could ever say to me could be as bad as the things I have to put up with everyday.
6.59 pm ~ "Dear Mr Lecturer, for MY project, we were wondering if its ok to add extra photos..." Millionth fake smile. F*cking show off. I say "well I could cancel the brazillian wax models..."
8.03 pm ~ "Ring! Ring!" Its Ruggy. Hey lover, I'm in class will be out at 10.00 or so. NOT LIKE I DIDNT TELL YOU YESTERDAY, Twice. And twice the day before that when you "yalllah~ yallah I herd ya the first time". Why do I even bother?
9.29 ~ "I'm from Penang. We speak a different dialect from you southerners.." Billionth fake smile. How nice....
9.30 pm ~ Look, we have to meet tomorrow & finalize all the details, if not we arent going to meet the project deadlines.
9.45 pm ~ Hey babe... no I am just tired.... I love you... I didnt even convince myself. Let me take that one back.. Look, I'm just having a really long day ok? talk to you tommorow or something.... Muax
9.49 pm ~ Sorry didn't mean to shout at your goatyness. You caught me at a moment of weakness. Ok..... See ya.
9.59 pm ~ Hello Duff sayang. Not still angry at me I hope. Time has been a bitch lately... I really can't excuse myself from this one.
10.04 pm ~ Hey babe, I just called to say I need to take time off from you.... NO! I don't need an assistant... Can hear me now? I need space for the next few days. You take care & I'll call when I don't feel so crazy so I won't shout at you. I love you.
10.07 pm ~ "Please buy me coke, I feel bloated" Whatever sis... I'm too close to my goal of a hot meal, a hot bath, a post & bed to even think of arguing.
10.11 pm ~ Duff sayang. Can talk easier now?Just got home too? Isn't life grand? I know its a bitch... firsthand even. Some how we will make it tru... We always seem to manage, neh?
11.44 pm ~ Post almost complete. Should I add Ordinary Day? Seems pretty ironic. Or how about Bad Day? Nah too icky. Only been listening to one song in the car that has managed to keep me going.... Its a repeat, but who F*ckng cares? Its my blog!! I'm too tired to deal with all this bull now. Real friend will stay close somehow & lovers will follow their heart. If fake smiles get me thru the day, why not, why not...
The city streets are wet again with rain
But I'm walkin' just the same
Skies turn to the usual grey
When you turn to face the day
And love don't show up in the pavement cracks
All my water colours fade to black
I'm goin' nowhere and I'm ten steps back
All my dreams have fallen flat
(Love don't show in the pavement cracks
There will be no turning back)
Time and space will pass us by and by
When we don't see eye to eye
I would have done anything
For happiness to bring ...
But it don't show up in the pavement cracks
I can't even cover up my tracks
I'm goin' nowhere and I'm light years back
Ooh I wish you well
How come
Every day
I'm still waiting for the change?
How come
I still say
Give me strength to live?
Where is my comfort zone?
A simple place to call my own
'Cause everything I wanna be
Comes crashing down on me
And it don't show up in the pavement cracks
I can't even recognise my tracks
You and I can't turn the whole thing back
Ooh I wish you well
Annie Lennox ~ Pavement Cracks (Gabriel & Dresden Mixshow)
I can do this... Really I can... Really...
posted by AJ @ 10:38 PM
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