Bertram~ Play Bear Nov '05

Got another of those annoyingly cutesy emails this morning. Don't they make ya wanna puke?Just for laughs I have decided to recaption those damn pics . Please don't proceed if STRONG language & pervy sexual innuendos offend you!

Living in the artic is tough! Just ask Bertram, our poster hunk for Play Bear Nov'05. A part time bear-whore, he says he is most facinated with icebergs (as there is nothing else for him to play with). He his favourite foods are icebergs & blubber. He enjoys longs naps at the edge of icebergs & catching snowflakes on his butt. And when he is bored he likes to pretend he is an, you guessed it~ iceberg.

But Bertram has a special tallent than any rent-a-bear would envy. Trained at the Moscow Circus, he can suck himself off. Rather like icecream he claims, only saltier.

*Heya sexy, need some company tonight?*

This is HIS come-fuck-me look which he uses when cruising the local icebergs.

Without anys hotels, cheap motels or back alleys, his customers always enjoy the outdoors. His normal pick upline is "Follow me, I know an iceberg with a view"

This enterprising young bear actually has a dream of being a porn webmaster one day. He takes advantage of every situation & has installed some webcams to get the customers doing it doggy... erm bear style.

For the less adventurous customers there are is the cowbear position...

"Hurry babe, we dont have all day! Ride me!"

"That was good. Same time, same iceberg next week? "

"Sure thing my sweet-salty popsicle, as long as you pay me with LOW FAT seal blubber next time, I'm watching my figure you know.."

Have I mentioned that he has 2 well dressed pimps?

"Wake up lard ass, your next customer is here!"

"Oh Not Not 10 Ton-Tim again! Everytime we cuddle he tries to eat my head!"

Who doesn't know what I'm talking about?
Who's never left home, who's never struck out?
To find a dream and a life of their own
A place in the clouds, a foundation of stone?

Many precede and many will follow
A young bear's dreams no longer hollow
It takes the shape of a place out west
But what it holds for him, he hasn't yet guessed

He needs wide open spaces
Room to make his big orgy scenes
He needs new faces

He knows the highest stakes

Dixie Chicks~ Wide Open Spaces (Bertram Bear Remix)