AJ~ a little too zen for my own taste
Some days we seem to have it all. Career. Cash. Car. Condo. Creative-lover. Other days it seems like we will never have it all. Yesterday as I watched my brother, the perfect bachelor turned perfect family man, I couldnt help but feel jealous. Its would be near impossible for me to get married and have children of my own. Sexuality aside, I would be the most neurotic mother-father.
AJ ~OH MY GOAT! AJ Jr is going to FALL OFF the couch and is going to crack his skull on the fabulous foot stool from Uncle Wingedman bought from Bali!
AJ Jr ~ goo?
Mrs AJ ~ Oh honey, he is fine! Quit fretting go have a vodka lime & a smoke, for BOTH our sakes!
AJ ~ goo...
Back to reality. Yesterday, I was almost overcome with envy as I watched my nephew playing with brightly coloured soap bubbles. His mother blew and blew and he kept on squealing with delight. Pure, sheer, unadulterated delight. The simplicity of that moment was so damn misserating. On one hand, my nephew was so easily delighted. On the other hand, my sister in law shared in his delight. I'm not sure how it happened. But I'm sure for a split second, she saw my look of envy.
In retrospect, Kitjar and his whole episode with dealing with his sexuality really is expected. I remember when I met my first guy~ Disaster. (no I'm not gonna blog about it) If Kitjar can be truly attracted and content with a women, by all means, stay away from the guys. Gay sex is addictive. Once you had a taste of man on man sex, it sure is hard to imagine it any other way. So if by all means you are sexually attracted to women, try & stay on the straight path...
Meanwhile I will just shake this feeling off and move ahead with life :o) I know I can't have kids, but it wont stop me from trying to get pregnant, again & again... ;oP
Boy I gotta shake,
shake it off
Gotta do what's best for me
Baby and that means I gotta
Shake it off
I Gotta
shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it
Off...
shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it
Off...
Mariah Carey ~ Shake It Off
posted by AJ @ 9:17 AM
9 Comments:
...*hugs* so much similar to what i felt..sometime ago. Perhaps i still do..having children. doesn't matter my own or adopted. but just...anyway, at least i could still choose to believe. Believe in it isn't a wrong, right?
hullo! thanks for dropping by my blog.
to be honest, the only kids i ever like are those not related to me.
but it would be nice to have a little one around for me to mold and exert my nasty influence on. as long as i can return the little bugger at the end of the day.
I have no idea if I wanted those creatures or not. Well, guess not. They cost a lot and droll a lot and don't wanna get spat on my clothes. :-) But I might change my mind.... hmmm.. something to think about.
No...NO NO NO NO NO. Never! Not in a million gazillion years to come.
Cause I wanna be the baby myself *wink*
Hi AJ,
Being attracted to another guy was an exhilarating feeling. But, I guess, there are just too many sacrifices to be made!
Since, I can have the same tingling feeling with women, I guess, I should stick to the straight path.
Seriously, on the sex part, I was always taught to believe that sex can only come after marriage.Perhaps, I was brainwashed by my parents and all my religious teachers.
Oh..... I wanna have my own two kids, and a perfect family in the suburb!
"Gay sex is addictive." This is very true. Straight people turn gay -permanently- all the time. I've yet to hear of a gay man turning straight.
Thanks! love the comments! it is the best part of blogging!
jojo: At risk of sounding like a hallmark tagline, its super-duper right to believe! Our reality is only limited by our imagination.
james: I used to feel that way too till I got my nephew. Now I actually enjoy being called an "uncle".. Ugh..
shigeki: no kids? too bad! I bet you would have the cutest lil brats... spit or no spit...
mikey: the world is not ready for another mikey! we are all still coping with your fab-ness!
kitjar: sex only after marriage? wow... doesn't that mean you're still a virgin? *dirty thoughts*
jay: You da man! Gay man turning straight is truly a rare phenomenon.... haven't really herd of any yet..
Gay sex is fun. Always something new to do. But kinda messy though, but making the mess and seeing the mess is a huge turn on.
Cleaning up the mess, however...is a job for the top to do.
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