The funeral chronolog

Very dark/whiny post about funeral humour touching religion ahead. please don't continue if you have a sensitive soul. These are my unsensored thoughts.

I never imagine bloggin could possibly be have such an impact on my life. I never imagine blogging to do what it does best untill my last post where I actually intended to write a "people post" as Spot calls it, but instead I wrote an eulogy. Truly, I'm slightly freaked out that as I was busily blogging away, my ah kong slipped away. Not that it was not expected but truly it is too sudden. Too sudden that he left us. Too sudden that I realize he isn't coming back. I could have asked them to put him on a respirator till I got home but hasn't ah kong suffered enough? the indignity? the physical pain? the mental anguish?

No. He was an impatient one. Always two steps ahead. Better he be allowed to go peacefully rather than like my amma, hooked up to the respirator. Her last breath assisted. It must have killed my father inside to have to pull the pull on his own mother.

I expected great dramas with in my family as is the nature of many families to squabble over things like money, jewelry, property, you know, the stuff that brings both pain and happiness. The last funeral, they were almost tore each others' jugular veins out and served it for dinner. Very bad table manners. Very strange customs indeed. But they must have mellowed in the last 2 years or so. Perfect little angels. Well, as perfect as much as each of their characters would allow. Some stil needy. Some attention seeking. Some tearing buckets. Some micromanaging. Some trying to lead, unsuccessfully. But all being tollerant, understanding and respectful.

The one true time when I lost my temper. Was the same as the last funeral. When preist/pasteur/father/whateverm'crap did the service.

Mr C was a very good man.
Mr C was highly respected.
But when Mr C joined the faith, everyone didn't believe it.
Everyone called him crazy (i blamed it on well timed propaganda).
Everyone laughed at him (i found it a most serious matter).
But look at him now...
He is now in a better place.
A place of wonder and tranquility.
He is by God's side.
You too can enjoy this better place.
You too can enjoy this place of wonder and tranquility.
You too can be by God's side.
Is there anyone amongst YOU non-believers out there that are willing to follow Mr. C's footsteps? (We were mostly too disgusted by the use of the service to promote, well, his services)
Rise now You who shall be saved and enjoy the promised land!
Rise now! (either the crowd was too disgusted or they were too respectful of Mr. C. They refused to budge).

On the second day, during the mandarin service:~
"Why do we let this man that barely knew our grand father say things that werent true?" asked sue my 23 year old cousin.

"Well sue, he has lots of experience with funerals. And that was ah kong's choice, like it or not. He may not have been of sound mind when he made that choice, but he made that choice. Lets try to respected it." I replied.

Pissed off I was. But I had to calm my sister. I had to be good for the cousins that I somewhat influenced. So I kept my piece for the sake of peace. But today (burrial day) he had to do his rounds. He had to build his relationships. He had to build his network. I was fuming as he shook my hand and said,

Father Tok too much ~ say isn't this the son that is a XXX?
AJ ~ *Look at him* No, But I am in the same line as you. I'm in direct sales. I speak of many empty promises just like you. Just like you.
AJ's father~ (tries to saves the family from hell) And this is my daughter...
Father Tok too much ~ Oh and what work do you do?
AJ's sister ~ I'm a con artist.
AJ ~ Thats right, same line as you father. Same as you.
AJ's Father ~ Oh my sorry about my son. He is such a joker.
AJ ~ If you cant joke about someone that comes to a funeral to recruit new minions who can you joke about?

*We all share and uncomfortable laugh*
I did apologise later to my my father. Because unlike the priest I do respect my father. I respect my beliefs. I respect myself.

All in all the rest of the funeral when as expected. Once last time, we went for a ride. Before the prosession began, for the very last time, I said out loud "Kia, Ah Kong" (let's go, grandpa). It was the last journey we may ever take togather again. Ever. The heavens wept as he went into the earth. As three generations that he help raised said goodbye.

The mud from the graveyard still clings on my slippers, as I write this.

Buang yang keruh, ambil yang jernih
(malay proverb ~ throw the tainted,keep the pristine)

Let the good memories stay, and bad ones fade away.