Vacancy In The Papers
Did You Read this?
“Iraq Terrorist Calls Scientists To Jihad”
He is trying to recruit me! He wants me! He loves me! He needs me! I fit all the criteria he is looking for.
DAMN RIGHT HE WANTS ME! I’m a scientist! I’m all angsty! I like pointless causes! And most importantly, like any one who wants to join his cause, I’m a bit crazy…
Sure, I’m a lil out of practice with working in the laboratory but I still know how to use Excel to make pretty bar charts! All I need are hot Arab men & a PC with broadband… (I should include my affinity for cock in my resume as I'm sure it is a bonus in the lonely desert sands.)
I’m great with culturing bacteria. Although I did do some culturing in Petri dishes, I do more culturing in the fridge. Leaving vegetables to rot does encourage bacteria growth. And as non-deadly as the bacteria are, they do smell bad. So do I get the job Mr Two-Walnuts-Short-Of-A-Fruitcake-Terrorist?
I may not have that much experience with explosives but I know how to handle sensitive materials because I have tangoed with some of the most frigid & yet emotional queens in Kuala Lumpur (bet you saw that one coming a mile away). So do I get the job Potato-Gravy-For-Brains?
AndroJane is a great expert when it comes to plotting, planning & scheming! One of my latest get-laid-quick schemes involves dark discos, plenty of alcohol & blindfolds. Funnily enough, most of them do. So do I get the job, Obviously-Ill-Planned-Mo-Fo?
But I sort of disagree with the policies of America. The other day I threw a tantrum when I herd Paris Hilton & Nicole Richie were best friends again. Stil no huh?
FIIIIiiine.. I’ll bring my own labcoat & and camo bikini to entertain the troups too. G’DmMoFo…
“Iraq Terrorist Calls Scientists To Jihad”
He is trying to recruit me! He wants me! He loves me! He needs me! I fit all the criteria he is looking for.
DAMN RIGHT HE WANTS ME! I’m a scientist! I’m all angsty! I like pointless causes! And most importantly, like any one who wants to join his cause, I’m a bit crazy…
Sure, I’m a lil out of practice with working in the laboratory but I still know how to use Excel to make pretty bar charts! All I need are hot Arab men & a PC with broadband… (I should include my affinity for cock in my resume as I'm sure it is a bonus in the lonely desert sands.)
I’m great with culturing bacteria. Although I did do some culturing in Petri dishes, I do more culturing in the fridge. Leaving vegetables to rot does encourage bacteria growth. And as non-deadly as the bacteria are, they do smell bad. So do I get the job Mr Two-Walnuts-Short-Of-A-Fruitcake-Terrorist?
I may not have that much experience with explosives but I know how to handle sensitive materials because I have tangoed with some of the most frigid & yet emotional queens in Kuala Lumpur (bet you saw that one coming a mile away). So do I get the job Potato-Gravy-For-Brains?
AndroJane is a great expert when it comes to plotting, planning & scheming! One of my latest get-laid-quick schemes involves dark discos, plenty of alcohol & blindfolds. Funnily enough, most of them do. So do I get the job, Obviously-Ill-Planned-Mo-Fo?
But I sort of disagree with the policies of America. The other day I threw a tantrum when I herd Paris Hilton & Nicole Richie were best friends again. Stil no huh?
FIIIIiiine.. I’ll bring my own labcoat & and camo bikini to entertain the troups too. G’DmMoFo…
"Anthrax? Just for MEeee? How Sweeet!"
posted by AJ @ 7:22 PM
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