Parody Post 1: But Enough About Jay!
Prologue: I was thinking of a funny idea for my Manic Monday readers & I decided to spoof Malaysia’s Most Critically Acclaimed Export To The UK- Jay. If you know him, you must have wondered what if Jay was secretly in love with the Zimbabwean whales in his office? If you don’t, you should read this funny post in his fabulous blog !
This morning I woke up with my stomach literally in knots.
Earlier this morning during my hourly romp with my ultra-femme live in maid- sNM, he forgot to untie the ropes before he went off. The handcuffs, ropes, leather restraints, cock rings & clamps sure made for comfy sleeping, but I needed to get ready for work.
It was almost 8a.m. and I didn’t want to get to the office late. I love my job! And I love the callers! Above all, I love my Zimbabwean colleagues! There is truly nothing nobler than providing a service that people appreciate. But there are days I dread going to work due of the cute swimmer-built marketing guy that stalks me. Sniff a guys suit once & he wants to get married!.
Knowing my housemate’s children were visiting I yelled for them to come to my room. They loved me like their very own aunty. And rightfully so, considering the many toys, chocolate bars, apple pies & lollipops I’ve bought them. I love children & want some of my own one day!
“Auntie bJay! Uncle sNM forgot to untie you again?”
“Yes, darling children, now won’t you untie me & I’ll give you some dollies to play with…”
“Are they sticky & funny smelling like the glow-in-the-dark balloons you gave us the last time?”
“Don’t worry dearies I’ll clean them first! Now help Aunty bJay find the key for the handcuffs”.
Once I got out of the cuffs, extracted & sucked off the Barbies I promised the kids, I hurriedly ushered them out. Then I got ready to meet Bonksquisha at the bus stop before work.
“Bonksquisha darling, you look positively radiant! Been bonking & squishing your husband well into your third trimester I see!”
“But of course bJay dear, mNM just loves milking my coco puffs. But it’s a total disaster, because we don’t know what to name our baby! Do you think Naomi Imoan is a good? We love palindromic names almost as much as we love playing badminton followed by threesome sex…”
“Oh you temptress you, like its not enough we do in the office once a week huh? I’ll come over later & plough your fertile feilds. As for the name, why not call her Bonksquisha Jr. Or even Tad0andre? I know they are a tad conservative, but she will love you for it. She is be your gift to humanity after all!”
“Oh bJay! You darling, darling queen! Why don’t I just name her after you! Thee hee hee…”
“I know! Just give her all the names!”
“….”
And that is how my favorite colleague named her daughter- bJay Tad0andre Naomi Imoan Bonksquisha Jr. But enough about me, go read AJ’s super fab blog!
This morning I woke up with my stomach literally in knots.
Earlier this morning during my hourly romp with my ultra-femme live in maid- sNM, he forgot to untie the ropes before he went off. The handcuffs, ropes, leather restraints, cock rings & clamps sure made for comfy sleeping, but I needed to get ready for work.
It was almost 8a.m. and I didn’t want to get to the office late. I love my job! And I love the callers! Above all, I love my Zimbabwean colleagues! There is truly nothing nobler than providing a service that people appreciate. But there are days I dread going to work due of the cute swimmer-built marketing guy that stalks me. Sniff a guys suit once & he wants to get married!.
Knowing my housemate’s children were visiting I yelled for them to come to my room. They loved me like their very own aunty. And rightfully so, considering the many toys, chocolate bars, apple pies & lollipops I’ve bought them. I love children & want some of my own one day!
“Auntie bJay! Uncle sNM forgot to untie you again?”
“Yes, darling children, now won’t you untie me & I’ll give you some dollies to play with…”
“Are they sticky & funny smelling like the glow-in-the-dark balloons you gave us the last time?”
“Don’t worry dearies I’ll clean them first! Now help Aunty bJay find the key for the handcuffs”.
Once I got out of the cuffs, extracted & sucked off the Barbies I promised the kids, I hurriedly ushered them out. Then I got ready to meet Bonksquisha at the bus stop before work.
“Bonksquisha darling, you look positively radiant! Been bonking & squishing your husband well into your third trimester I see!”
“But of course bJay dear, mNM just loves milking my coco puffs. But it’s a total disaster, because we don’t know what to name our baby! Do you think Naomi Imoan is a good? We love palindromic names almost as much as we love playing badminton followed by threesome sex…”
“Oh you temptress you, like its not enough we do in the office once a week huh? I’ll come over later & plough your fertile feilds. As for the name, why not call her Bonksquisha Jr. Or even Tad0andre? I know they are a tad conservative, but she will love you for it. She is be your gift to humanity after all!”
“Oh bJay! You darling, darling queen! Why don’t I just name her after you! Thee hee hee…”
“I know! Just give her all the names!”
“….”
And that is how my favorite colleague named her daughter- bJay Tad0andre Naomi Imoan Bonksquisha Jr. But enough about me, go read AJ’s super fab blog!
I wonder who the father *REALLY* was…Epilogue: Heh…
And Jay~ I hope you enjoy enough increased traffic & a good poke in your ribs. Please don’t sue my Made in China Town Cyber Pants off for blatant & brutal slander/plagiarism. You know you SO rule. And common, at some deep unconcious level you must like them a little bit… :oP
And Jay~ I hope you enjoy enough increased traffic & a good poke in your ribs. Please don’t sue my Made in China Town Cyber Pants off for blatant & brutal slander/plagiarism. You know you SO rule. And common, at some deep unconcious level you must like them a little bit… :oP
You can call me a minger
and I can call you a saint
Celebrate me for who I am
Dislike me for what I ain’t
Put me up on a pedestal
Or drag me down in my skirt
Sticks and stones I like to bone
Better still if they hurt
I’ll be the garden, you’ll be the snake
All of my fruit is yours to take
AJ ft Madonna ~ Like It Or Not
posted by AJ @ 8:41 PM
14 Comments:
Heh heh heh :)
Likes it.
Yeah aj, great spoof! :oD
Omigod. When is Jay and his zimbabwean harem gonna see this?
Paul
Seriously, I'm flattered but yikes! The stuff of nightmares! I do like the bJay and sNM monikers though - never saw 'em myself. :-D
Good job on the Photoshopping BTW!
That's so cute. :-) You are so cute even if you want your own evil creatures (a.k.a. children) some day. :-)
Fuckkit~ Heh, my pleasure, really.
hrugaar~ Don't u mean great poof?
Paul~ Don't laugh, you may be next...
jay~ Glad you are amused :oP Its was easy really. I wanted to add a bit about your mother but yeah, I will not resort to Yo' Mumma Jokes...
shigeki~ I'm not cute-la, I'm a bit insane...
LOL.
"Auntie bJay! Uncle sNM forgot to untie you again?"
LOL. to imagine that those kids catch jay in his birthday suit AGAIN and yet having conversation with him... LOL.
hillary-ous. LOL.
musang~ giggle... It would be so Jay tho, wouldnt it?
im almost feeling bad for this pregnant woman now...
arroclint~ Its always good to save the whales, even if they are from Zimbabwe...
Whales from Zimbabwe.. AJ you're killing me man!
hahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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