Humanizing Stereotypes

If there is one thing I don’t like about blogging, it’s being approached by strangers who have read my blog & look at me like they know every single thing about me. Like a museum exhibit, they then expect me volunteer personal information & to live up to the romanticized self-portrait of AJ that I have painted. I still have many secret talents that I will not share with the world! So don’t be stalker like & talk like polite people should.

No, the whole stalkeresque thingy hasn’t happened recently but I do want everyone to understand that surely & most certainly I have more dimensions, layers & angels than you can imagine. I know I have been labeled by many as a cold bitchy hedonistic party freak, but such assumptions are not entirely correct. I’m not saying its wrong to label people but a little restraint & tact always does wonders.

I’m personally totally guilty of bestowing titles, nasty or nice onto people. In fact, very often when I first meet someone I find myself noticing their flaws. Whether or not I call them a ‘Trashy Three Headed Tranny’, ‘Evil Clown Whore’ or ‘Melted Barbie Doll’ does really depend a lot on my discretion to act on the spur of the moment.

This weekend whiles happily out clubbing, I encountered some badly labeled Bitches. There was Anne Of Green Gables who just like the character from the series always went out with a straw hat with a ribbon tied around it. Anne has since upgraded and now is always seen with a visor. Still, we call him Anne at every opportunity.

Twirl, twirl & turn around and there’s Fuck Face The Fugly with his boyfriend with shoes made by blind pixies (The most hideous things ever they look like leather ketupats. Surely the current surge of earthquakes can be blamed on the spirit of the cow that had to sacrifice itself for those fashion death traps turning over and over again in its grave). I’ve posted about this before but what makes Fuck Face The Fugly truly fugly is his loathsome personality which I do not care to elaborate. But it does make for a good tongue twister.

But at the end of the party, all the fun & names were brought to a halt by yours truly being bitch slapped. *Wwwhack!* I have never been slapped before. Time stood still & and all eyes follow the thunderous sound to AJ. I think, most people would have freaked. Some would have started pounding, some would have let the flood gates open and others would have been speechless.

Instead I calmly expressed to him that he really shouldn’t do that & I forgive him. But if he does it again, ever, he would totally regret it. In deed he did apologize, but I’m not particularly sure of the sincerity stemming from his unsure clarity.

No, I have never wronged this guy & have never even called him names. In fact he is one of the first few people I met coming into the scene. Its just his imbalanced personality taking a swipe at my easy going personality. I fully understand how its like to be crazy & wanting to take it out on the world. Sure I bitched about it later but if anything, that slap taught me that I’m a much nicer person that I thought I was.

So yeah, don’t judge me purely based on what you read about me because even I don’t know me. And always remember to talk, like polite people should. How else can you know a person’s heart?

I am the son
And the heir
Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar
I am the son and the heir
Of nothing in particular
You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way?
I am Human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does
There's a club, if you'd like to go
You could meet somebody who really loves you
So you go, and you stand on your own
And you leave on your own
And you go home, and you cry
And you want to die
When you say it's gonna happen "now"
Well, when exactly doe you mean?
See I've already waited too long
And all my hope is gone
You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way?
I am Human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does

Love Spit Love (OST Charmed)~ How Soon Is Now

Pout Off

Through out the day, I wear a neverending pout. In the morning there’s the groggy cranky ‘I didn’t get enough sleep’ mask of doom. Don't you ever dare question me in the morning, simply because I NEVER get enough sleep!

Upon reaching the office I express the (wannabe) straight tough guy who gets the job done, regardless of stupid pointless questions. Don’t mess with me bitches, I’ll bite your heads off and feed them to your ass!

At the gym I become look constipated trying to sort out my day as I push hard at my work out. Not the prettiest of looks, but hey, I’m pretty enough not to care.

Finally I become sleepy, tired & hungry just before dinner. *Munch Munch* Which is quickly followed by satisfaction & complacency.

One face I haven’t made in a while is this one:-

The other day, on Marknais’s blog- The Ever Ending Journey, I challenged him to a pout off! Certainly my expression isn’t a typical pout, but hey, I think I’ve reached the pinacle of excellence! Hee Hee

Go look at his pics and judge, did I win?

(Yes, I am the ever competitive indomitable bitch, but maybe, just maybe for the right guy, I can be tamed?)

I am not a one-trick pony
I am not a one-trick pony
I really feel nothing can hold me
I really feel no one can own me
Nobody can control me
Nobody can conform me
Nobody can disown me
Nobody can ignore me
So slow down
One-trick pony

Nelly Furtado~ One Trick Pony

AJ’s Sweet Escape

Everybody could use a holiday. And since I’m just like you (only more fabulous), I hauled my ass up North to the duty free beach paradise known as Langkawi, where I met one of my friends whom I haven’t seen in a while- 1d. They say Langkawi is made up of 99 islands in the sun, but I really was too tipsy to notice.

I didn't see any skulls on the beach, but the water looked just fine...

Lost In Translation
One the funny things about Langkawi is the unending list of legends associated with the island! Maybe the locals are very into the whole ethnic-goth culture or they simply like story telling but there seems to be a drama, I mean legend behind almost every place. Most of the names like fields of burnt rice, seven wells, mashuri’s grave & wet rice beach are all sweet & nice. But there is one beach called Pasir Tengkorak, which translates into Skull Sand Beach. Doesn’t it paint a beautiful picture in your mind?

Wish you were here Slutboy, you could have had this one...

46 Flavors & Counting
Funny chocolates, icecream, seafood & ciggies weren’t the only things on the menu. More like seefood. I saw hot shirtless men of all nationalities! Koreans, Japanese, Africans, Europeans, Americans, Latinos, Arabs, the works! No, I didn’t get any action (but i managed to snap some shots). Seriously, like straight men watching lesbian porn, it was more of a spectator sport. Shirtless & cute, all of them were traveling in small groups or paired off with women. But if it is any consolation for not being there, there was this one guy playing volleyball, let's call him Mr. Bouncy Butt, in the most obscene orange G-string ever. His butt wasn't that bad, just that I saw too much of it. Why are the bad G-strings always orange?

The nice gentleman in the orange G-string is your's Carnie, I'll take the one in the blue shorts.

...You never know what you’ll get!
It doesn’t just apply to chocolates (of which I had many), but cutesy pre-mixed drinks in cans & bottles. I’m not sure what the crazy Japs mixed with their fruit juices, but it sure as hell tasted fun. There was even one which I swore was apple beer! If they can come up with raw fish roe spaghetti & potato pizza, why not apple beer?

The hotel from the water, ain't it pretty?

Mandarins Are Fattening! Let’s Share Half!
As cheap drunks as we were, 1d & I decided to try our very best at finishing a 1 liter bottle of Absolut Mandarin (we only made it half way). And in case you ever do fly to Langkawi & come back through the LCCT, take note, the CUSTOMS NEVER CHECK BAGS! Yes! Bring in as much as you want!

I managed to get back in touch with my artistic side. What ya think, is it, er, goat?

The Most Effective Diet Ever- The Monkey Diet
Don’t worry you won’t have to swallow any monkey brains (unless you want to). What happened was, whiles we were busily playing in the water on Beras Basah Island, a pack of evil monkey made off with all our snacks & apple juice. The smart bastards actually left the water & vodka in a mineral water bottle! Some how they must have known if they took the vodka, I would hunt each and everyone of them down. Slowly grill them alive & feed them to the jelly fish…

All cooked (totally no alcohol involved, lol) and passed out on the beach!

Doing A Lindsay Lohan
I was so distracted by the whole monkey episode (or just too plain drunk) that at one point I actually took a swig of vodka in the mineral bottle thinking it was water! Yes, just like Lindsay Lohan & her bottle of ‘mineral water’. I was giggling on the beach for no apparent reason constantly, luckily my company didn't complain.

Hope you enjoyed the pictures as much as I enjoyed taking them. Do pamper yourself with a trip somehow or other. And always remember as my wise philosophical friend said, you have to be here to get there.

Please don't go crazy, if I tell you the truth
No you don't know what happened
And you never will if
You don't listen to me while I talk to the wall
This blanket is freezing, it's been out in the hall
Where you've had me for hours
Till I'm sure what I want
But darling I want the same thing that I wanted before
So sweetheart tell me what's up I won't stop no way

Please keep your hands down
And stop raising your voice
It's hardly what I'd be doing if you gave me a choice
It's a simple suggestion can you give me sometime
So just say yes or no
Why can't you shoulder the blame
Coz both my shoulders are heavy
From the weight of us both
You're a big boy now so let's not talk about growth
You've not heard a single word I have said...
Oh, my God

Please take it easy it can't all be my fault
I haven't made half the mistakes
That you've listed so far
Oh baby let me explain something
It's all down to drugs
At least I remember taking the and not a lot else
It seems I've stepped over lines
You've drawn again and again
But if the ecstacy's in the wit is definitely out
Dr. Jekyll is wrestling Hyde for my pride
Snow Patrol~ How To Be Dead

The Stoney Eagle Post

AJ IS ON HOLIDAY! WHEEEEEEEEEE!

Ok, maybe not so wheee.... I borrowed my sisters MP3 player to listen to trance as I perv boys on the beaches of Langkawi (the names translates to stone eagle, hence the post title). I dunno how I did it but I managed to spoil it within 2 hours of using it. Poor lil thing just couldnt take all the beats I guess. I decided to (get my father to) buy one of those phones which can store a ton of MP3s... iPhone maybe?

I thought the bateries might be dead so I tried wall charging it (didn't work) & I subsequently tried to charge it using the PCs at the hotel's 'business centre' (not working either). And that's how I ended up here! Since I did like pay RM18 bucks to use the PC, I thought I might as well bitch about it a bit. And write a little post about it.

And yes in case you're wondering I am slightly high. Had some silly japaneasey sparkling pineapple juice with some alcohol or other in it (and too many chocolates). Not too much though, I have to drive in a while! Okay maybe just another bottle... I do love all these cutesy juices + alcohol!

Oh and I bought strawberry flavoured ciggies, that's SO NOT HELPING me quit smoking...

Grrr.. This is pretty boring and a waste of time after all. I think I wanna go for a swim. The pool seems nice. I will post pictures when I get back, ok?

Don't miss me too much!

The Things I Do For Love (Of Slutboy)

Too round… too square… too chubby… too tacky… too dark… too hairy… too tall… too young… too messy… too old… too thin… too geeky… too flimsy… OH PERFECT! but straight!! (why is there always a butt?)

Those were the comments running through my head the other day as I sized up the men at the gym. Hey, it’s a tough job being the bitch. Shallow too, but hey, I have the right to be picky when it comes to selecting possible candidates to satisfy the needs of my dear darling Slutboy. I love him to bits. We love him to bits. Carnie & I figure, if we focus our energy & pool our resources, we are bound to find a suitable man for Slutboy. I think possibly maybe he is ready to give up his (supposed) promiscuous ways & find a man he can call his own…

I even dragged out my antisocial ass to join him for a networking party (more like speed dating, if you ask me). I tried to sing praises of Slutboy & do a lil tune about myself (just incase, you know). There were some nice ones, but mostly not to my taste. But the target was to be able to break down those icy walls & find the perfect guy for Slutboy. How did that go? Rome wasn’t built in a day & we can’t expect to find Mrs Slutboy just like that.

“But what about you AJ, why don’t you find yourself a man too?”

Honey, the sentiment is lovely, but do you think any man can keep up with me? More accurately, I don’t see myself falling head over heels for anyone soon. Really, what am I supposed to do with someone else’s dramas, emos & needs?

Doing a quick reality check, over the last year, each of us (the three partners in slutting) must have met about 100 different men (maybe more). No shit. By pooling our resources, we been there, done that & groped the men. Discos, clubs, bars, bistros, karaoke dates, coffee dates, lunch dates, dinner dates, supper dates, breakfast dates, gym dates, movie dates, rave parties, house parties, hotel parties, movie parties, bath houses, online profiles & even blogger meets. Together or individually, we have done some major sexploring. Some wanted to do me, some I wanted to do, some I would date but very few came close to making me take the extra effort to actually be nice & care enough to try.

It was fun meeting all these men but I do believe in that certain kind of electricity that does connect people romantically. A spark. No, not love at first sight, but just an energy that makes you wanna do more. Still haven’t found it, but I will let you know when I do…

Young girl in the market
Music to the men
When the men leave
Her eyes are red
When her eyes are closed again she sees the dark market of above

And she sings
'They say the most horrible things
But I hear violins, when I close my eyes
I am at the center of the sun
And I cannot be hurt
By anything this wicked world has done'

Young boy in the market
Follows all the men
When the men leave
He's out of his head
When his eyes are closed again he sees the dark market of above

And he sings
'They break the most beautiful things
But I hear violins, when I close my eyes
I am at the center of the sun
And I cannot be hurt
By anything this wicked world has done
I look into your eyes
And I am at the center of the sun
And I cannot be hurt
By anything this wicked world has done'

Center of the sun
Young boy in the market
Sees the girl alone
And asks her
'Have you lost your way home?'
She sings
'You say the most beautiful things, just like my violins'

I look into your eyes
I am at the center of the sun
And I cannot be hurt
By anything this wicked world has done

When I close my eyes
I am at the center of the sun
And I cannot be hurt
By anything this wicked world has done

'Cause
I hear violins
I hear violins

I hear violins
I hear violins

Center of the sun
I hear ...violins

Conjure One~ Center Of The Sun

Resurrections, Reiterations & Revelations

Did ya miss me? Did I disappoint you by not posting? Did you even notice?

It’s not you, its me…
The matter of the fact is that I no longer feel like blogging as much any more. Rather than posting every other day, I think I will be posting once a week or maybe just when I really have something really worth posting about. Not that I think that anyone cares, but I thought I should give everyone who does read this blog the heads up (especially that one person from Iceland that seems to lurk frequently). I highly suspect it may be better I communicate all these things I wanna let out directly to people rather than jotting them down for the world to see.

Don’t ever accept candy from strangers…
But its okay if it’s from a friend of a friend’s friend, even if you’re not sure if he really was. His lollipop (really was candy people, FOCUS! FOCUS!) was the nicest & worst thing I ever tasted! Tasted like mandarin yoghurt & mutton curry! I got it at my final rave of the year (again), Velocity I think it was. Kyau & Albert, Ron Van Beuken and Judge Jules played an amazing set. There was a blackout which must be embarrassing for the organizers, but its no big deal. Everything seemed shiny sparkly that night. I didn’t even wonder over to the *ugh* RNB section to listen to what they were playing.

Haven’t we met before…
I went out clubbing (and drank) so often with old & new friends that I have trouble remembering what exactly I did, with who & where. Seriously kids, alcohol kills brain cells! I suspect I even had a blackout moment during my count down at Orange but can’t be sure because I was too drunk to remember. What I do remember is chatting up this couple that looked like they were made for each other. Surely they weren’t the prettiest things in there (I actually sent out an SMS to Slutboy- Come find me on the couches! Help me! I am chatting up ugly men!). Not that they were paying much heed to me, I could actually sense how happy they were together, like some of the couples I know…

Will you be my best friend…
On new years eve I was hugging (and licking) all of my best friends. I guess I wanted to show them some love. The funniest thing was that I saw a bunch of spiky haired lesbians on my way out of the club, I instantly shouted “OH MY GAWD! Lesbians! I love you lesbians!” The goat tells me this is rude and I am lucky I didn’t get beaten up, but I think at least I was (drunkenly) honest on how cute they are (it took what ever minute amounts of soberness left in me to stop me from going up to them and hugging them randomly too). But it certainly made my night when they shouted back “Happy New Year!” in unison. They love me, they really do!

You’re like a tender love bite on my neck…
Then there is this guy I met who is like sexy, smart & super nice. The more I know, the more I likey! It feels so comfortable talking with him, that it makes me wonder if my jaded bitter persona is all simply due to the simple fact that I just haven’t met a compatible guy. But (there is always a but isn’t there?) he gives off such mixed signals that it does drive me nuts at times too! WTF does he want from me??

Someday we’ll know…
I really can’t remember the last time that I felt so comfortable & yet so frantic. Then again he has left the country & doesn’t even stay in the same city. Although I am certainly not going to dwell on thoughts of him, I am certainly going to make opportunities to communicate with him in the future. I think just maybe, there is something worth exploring there.

And the award for best actor in a solo drama goes to…
I know I can be emotional, but what is a boy/ girl to do? And of course with the whole new year thingy I have been dutifully examining my priorities & how I channel my resources. The main outcome is that I am too hard on myself at times & at the same time too lax. I need to stop thinking I am crazy & be comfortable in my own skin. Over analyzing every situation is not going to help me be happier. I don’t think I will ever a stick thin model with abs of steel but neither am I unloveable, untouchable or undesirable. Over dramatic at times, I still do have more self control than some. When I bitchily glare at those who accuse me of being attracted to drama *flips hair*, I see they have starred in many soap operas of their own.

For my next trick…
I will give up the unhealthy & expensive habit of smoking like an Iraqi oil fire. By Feb 1st I should be smoking only on weekends & my last ciggie is targeted for March 16th. With a lil perseverance I will gain better control of the things I can change (work, health & finances) and learn to let go of the things I can’t (love & family). Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but soon enough I will be at total peace. I accept the simple fact that I will never be bright, shiny & new again but being clean, keen & quirky will be fantastic!