Merdeka x3!

Yes Malaysia's independence day is just around the corner (tomolo). And if you happen to stumble upon a malaysian blog (just like this one), you will most prolly be read about all the good things about us.

There really isn't just one face to Malaysia, too many colors, shapes, sizes, voices & beliefs. Sounds chaotic doesn't it? But we do have some common ground, this beautiful country.

You see the many different races which reside in Malaysia were brought togather a long time ago for very important reasons that still endure on. Independence, peace & a better life.

Historically, Malaysia is the only country in the world to gain independence thru peaceful negotiations (or so I remember). I suppose when great people put their differences aside & concentrate on the greater good, good things will happen.

Many years down the road and here we are. Still living peacefully togather. Sharing into each others customs & eating each other's food. BUuuuuuurRRPp! Yeap Malaysia have a good birthday.

Negaraku, (Oh my country)

Tanah Tumpah-Nya DarahKu (The place where my blood fell to the ground)

Negaraku ~ Malaysian National Anthem.

Bloggers Note: The Tungku Shouted Merdeka 7 times actually...

Dilemma ~ Oh... Uncle AJ

The last post was really more an introspective note for me to recall one day into the future when I feel up to reading what I actually wrote. Reading my own personal writing always sends shivers down my back. This post on the other hand is for all your blog-verts out there (yes you who just like me, enjoy peeving into other peoples lives).

Today there was a short pause as both I and my "china gurl" workmate tried to enter my room. I decided that although a gentleman should always open a door for a lady, a charming-cheeky "Ladies first" would result in her opening the door and me seem like more of a *Ahhem* Ladies Man.

Wrong! She responded with a "No uncle, seniors first"

OUCH! Not that I'm close to retirement but I'm only about 3 years older than her. Isn't bad enough that I'm in the midst of my quarter-life crisis (seems to be lasting forever), now I have little girls from china calling me "Uncle"! (Uncle is sort of like the polite way to address an older person. sort of like using Mister in some countries)

I know its a joke, but dammit! The whole bloody office is close to calling me Uncle AJ! And everyone else is older than me! Sure I'm more anally retentive than most, but they DO ask me for to help!

*Pout* I won't be nice the next time someone has so really stupid question....
Hey AJ, what audio softwear is best? (use MSN messenger, really)
How do you convert mcg to IU? (very carefully)
How do you get to USJ? (you drive)

What ya think? shouldn't *uncles* be too old/busy/outdated to help out :o{P

Funny how i blind myself

I never knew if i was sometimes played upon

Afraid to lose I'd tell myself what good you do

Convince myself

Its My Life ~ No Doubt

Advice from a lover

The weekend was too short & also too long. Although I felt a lil stagnant, a few smart words of advice from ruggy were most assuring. Some days are better than others. Not exactly quoted & not backed up with his passionate arguements (He can argue almost as long windedly as I can type):-

"We have more control over our lives than we think..."

Some days he may not meet my expectations, but other days he exceeds them. My relationship is working to make me better. I wonder if he gets as much out of it. I think he does...

Johnny wishes he was famous
Spends his time alone
in the basement
With Lennon and Cobain
A guitar and a stereo
While he wishes he
could escape this
It all seems so contagious
Not to be yourself and faceless
In a song that has no soul

I remember feeling low
I remember losing hope
I remember all the feelings
And the day they stopped
We are we are all innocent

Our Lady Peace ~ Innocent

Advice to a stranger

"I miss him so much!" sob~ sob~ "I really miss him so much!" She didn't get it. This poor young thing didn't know the truth about most men~ Most men are jerks. It didn't matter how much she missed him, he is most prolly busy bonking some other chick whiles she moaned.

Really.

She was being cradled by two of her friends as they tried to get her into the lift. (Drunk most prolly!) I was not about to share a lift with them, simply because I didn't need to hear anymore! I seen this many times before. Too many times.

Men are opportunistic. Men get bored easily. Men don't care so much about feelings. If I have learnt anything about human nature, it is that the truly good men (and women) are few & far between. Men can promise the moon but if they make good on the promise is another thing. We are jerks.

Yes.. Sadly even I have been a jerk at times.

If I could tell all women one thing it would be to trust men cautiously. Women tend to be emotional creatures. I have seen women (and men) cheated by others, simply because they trusted too much. Call me a frigid bitch but we must be careful of who we give our hearts to.

Circumstances can change.

People change.

People get desprate.

People get listless...

But if you have a good man, hold on to him close & cherish him. But always, ALWAYS be alert for signs that things have changed. Same goes for anyone. You see, its better to be safe than slobbering drunk whiles your friends try to get you into the lift. Keep your chin up, you always can start over!

Who amongst us hasn't bounced back even after the worst disaster?

Bounce babies bounce!

If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we're all ok
And not to worry because worry is wasteful
and useless in times like these
I will not be made useless
I won't be idled with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
for light does the darkness most fear

Jewel ~ Hands

AJ: agile as a lame sea turtle..

As many magazines & tv shows advocate,
~sex is fun! ~sex is enjoyable! ~sex is for everyone! ~sex cures all!

your mother-in-law visiting? need to lose weight? can't get the promotion you wanted? car battery flat?

==Have some delicous all natural SEX!==

What they won't tell you, is that sex with a clumsy person can be dangerous...

I'm a very careful person. I pay my bills on time, I don't touch electrical appliances with wet hands & I don't walk down dark alleys. Alas, I'm not the most agile guy around. I tend to bump into things & cause things to topple, unnecessarily. Put me in bed, the place where I spend atleast 40% of my life, and its not much different. I eat, sleep, read, smoke, watch shows/porn and of course have sex in bed...

But still some how... I manage to elbow Ruggy in the groin/chest/face/eye.... Just name your favourite body part, I have bruised/ jabbed/ stabbed/ bitten/ scrapped it! Its not funny! Stop giggling! I had to pause blowing just to apologize!

Last night was no different. Well maybe a lil. Other than the usual rib jabs & hair pulls, I also gave him a love bite somewhere below his right nipple. I also have mine , well hidden.... *smirk* didn't see that one coming did ya?

I will burn you

Feel pain for you

I will twist the knife and bleed your aching heart

And tear it apart...

Garbage~ No. 1 Crush (edited)

AJ~ a little too zen for my own taste

Some days we seem to have it all. Career. Cash. Car. Condo. Creative-lover. Other days it seems like we will never have it all. Yesterday as I watched my brother, the perfect bachelor turned perfect family man, I couldnt help but feel jealous. Its would be near impossible for me to get married and have children of my own. Sexuality aside, I would be the most neurotic mother-father.

AJ ~OH MY GOAT! AJ Jr is going to FALL OFF the couch and is going to crack his skull on the fabulous foot stool from Uncle Wingedman bought from Bali!
AJ Jr ~ goo?
Mrs AJ ~ Oh honey, he is fine! Quit fretting go have a vodka lime & a smoke, for BOTH our sakes!
AJ ~ goo...

Back to reality. Yesterday, I was almost overcome with envy as I watched my nephew playing with brightly coloured soap bubbles. His mother blew and blew and he kept on squealing with delight. Pure, sheer, unadulterated delight. The simplicity of that moment was so damn misserating. On one hand, my nephew was so easily delighted. On the other hand, my sister in law shared in his delight. I'm not sure how it happened. But I'm sure for a split second, she saw my look of envy.

In retrospect, Kitjar and his whole episode with dealing with his sexuality really is expected. I remember when I met my first guy~ Disaster. (no I'm not gonna blog about it) If Kitjar can be truly attracted and content with a women, by all means, stay away from the guys. Gay sex is addictive. Once you had a taste of man on man sex, it sure is hard to imagine it any other way. So if by all means you are sexually attracted to women, try & stay on the straight path...

Meanwhile I will just shake this feeling off and move ahead with life :o) I know I can't have kids, but it wont stop me from trying to get pregnant, again & again... ;oP

Boy I gotta shake,

shake it off

Gotta do what's best for me

Baby and that means I gotta

Shake it off

I Gotta

shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it

Off...

shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it

Off...

Mariah Carey ~ Shake It Off

Hedonistic Candle Lit Dinner

Hello Darhlings!

Andro Jane Here Again. Just got back from my Monday Off. Why did I take Monday Off? Just to rest & relax! Tra la la la laaa! ~AJ Does a skip~

Made french toast for breakfast, Met the incredible Duff for lunch, did some banking, went to the gym, met a couple of friends for drinks & prepared the a Hedonistic Candle Lit Dinner for Ruggy.

How So?
Well basically I cleaned my room emaculately as possible,
I lit some tea lights in beatiful candle holders,
I lit vanilla insense in a beautiful ikea jar (is that how I break em so easily?)
I played chill house (chill out mixed with house) music on my new speakers (that Ruggy bought for me)
I selected some nice DVDs (comedies like Big Fish)
I ordered pizza (BBQ chicken & double cheesy burger from Dominos)
I placed 8 kinds of drinks in my fridge ranging from pineapple juice to coke lite (no green tea for shigeki tho)
I made sure my glow in the dark stars were sort of glowing (childish but facinating)
I brought out the cigar I was saving
I wore some decent clothes & groomed a lil
And I rolled a joint (no judgement plz)

He really didnt even give a second thought to the perfectly hedonistic setting I prepared for him... But then again. Don't we all always overlook the little details that others painstakingly prepare for us? I chose not to sulk *Just Because* I was having a perfect Monday.

How can you sit there watching

Someone else?

How can you sit there,

sit there watching..

Markus Schulz ft. Departure - Without you near

My first copy writing classs

Yesterday I attended my first copywriting class. Honestly I was hesitant & filled with anxiety. So far I have been dealing with amatuers. What if this professional found my style too atrocious to even begin to comment? What if? What if?

But as I waited for him to get there (he was late by 20mins) i got to know some of my classmates (many of which were very late as well).

All 3 other guys made that little contraption in my head go PING PING PING! Yeap gaydar works.

One was really cute in a Duff kinda way only he had the funniest goatee. It was like he tought he was too cute. So no matter how badly he groomed his facial hair, he would look good, ~WRONG! A quick shave and he would be so desirable. The other one was seemed like the typical geek gay guy. Eager to absorb. Eager to learn. Eager to bottom. Thinning hair line but if it was a dark room, I'd do him. The third was a slight chub. Dark skinned and typical features. He was typically typical. It was the way that he spoke that gave him that PLU-edge.

But HEY! who am I to judge? These people, just like me came to learn & learn we did. I'm sure they have more layers than just being a Duff look alike (as much a compliment as that is, I'm sure he rather be his own person).

For one of the assignments, we had to write an introduction about ourselves. This is mine~

I'm truly best described as one of Malaysia's best dishes, - Rojak. Just like this seemingly simple dish, what you see isn't what you get. Although you may thing you can see my true being underneath the thich layer of prawn paste, I'm certainly more complex. I'm serious yet jovial. I'm smart yet silly. I'm cool yet chaotic. Sometimes I enjoy understanding what makes people think, while other times I couldn't be bothered to give anyone a second glance.

The key to understanding who I am, is by understanding where I come from, where I am now & where I will be. Just like how the many ingredients in rojak were produce in Malaysia's rural towns so was I. I grew up in (insert name of my town), Johor; a town of diverse landscapes & people, held togather as a community by a common goal; - money. Equipped with my small-town upbringing I came to K.L., where I obtained my BSc in Biotechnology. Once I graduated, I wasn't sure what I wanted to apply myself at. Just like rojak, I have many different tastes. Each different yet the same.

Where will I be? Just like rojak I could recieve rave reviews or end up in the bin.

(bloggers note: Rojak is a fruit salad dish doused in thick smelly brown prawn paste & K.L. is Kuala Lumpur)

It's as if you've known me better than I ever knew myself

I love how you can tell

All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me

All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me

Ashlee Simpson ~ Pieces Of Me

So how do you guys think I rated for this assignment?

The Me Me! Part two..

Continued....

5 snacks I enjoy
1 - Chewy Jelly Candies (australian)~ Made with Gelatin, anything less is a compromise.

2 - Angel Pie with alcohol (japanese)- These are chocolate coated brandy cakes with marshmallow filling... How can I resist?

3 - Ice Lemon Tea (Cloud 9) - Its just like the drink you can get at the mamak. Always good when you cant get the real thing.

4 - Lay's Nacho chips + Cheese dip (OMG!) - Almost as delicious as they are fattening!

5 - Blue Bunny Ice Cream, Preferably Bunny Tracks (YUMMY!) It's basically choco icecream, toffee icecream and vanilla icecream with a caramel & fudge ribbon & little chocolate bunnies filled with caramel. Sinful! Absolutely sinful!



5 songs I know the words to
Hmmm... Even if I dont know the lyrics I can copy and paste them from the internet (Haiyaa~ You didnt think i spend all my time tap tap tap typing all that did you? Sure I know what I'm looking for but to type all that when I can just cut and paste is insane... no, wait stupid!)Let me do this one with a bit of variety!
1. Again ~ Janet Jackson (So painfully beautiful)
2. Stay ~ Lisa Loeb (So beautifully painful)
3. Rapture ~ Iio (This song is so so sexy, sensual & makes me wanna dance)
4. Lucky ~ Britney Spears (not by choice! its so damn catchy)
5. Cheeky Song ~ The Cheeky Girls (Uhuh you know you secretly sing along to this song hoping someone cute will grope you! ~WE~ are the cheeky girls!)



5 things I would do with $100,000,000
1 - Buy my own island paradise will full coral reef & waterfalls, preferably near will's island of menMEnMeNMen. I would then proceed for my dream house to be built fully equipped with secret passages & spy holes.

2 - Set up a wild life preserve on my island to save all those poor "happy tree friends" that work so hard to keep us laughing.

3 - Hire tons of men to man my island. Oh yeah we are keeping goats on the far end of the island because I have been too cruel to goats. And they make good goat milk soap....

4 - Hire a team of financial whizzes to manage my fortune to ensure my family (who get to stay far far away), boy toys, fuzzy tree friends & goats never go hungry even after I pop off. Untill then I wanna spend my fortune! I think I'd be wise to invest in a porn studio & property all over the world?

5 - Donate to charity. How else will I ever get to heaven?



5 locations I'd like to run away to
1 - New Orleans & New York & live in those old syle mansions & hotels!

2 - South of France to enjoy the country men, err I mean country side

3 - The mediteranean to swim in blue waters & soak up the culture.

4 - Kyoto & Hokaido, Japan two very spectacular places (or so seen on tv) I really wanted to visit but didnt get to. Most prolly freeze my balls off there tho..

5 - Some Southern Thai Island! I wanna do a beach-rave party with Kylie Minogue, Angelina Jolie, Madonna, Guy Ritchie, Brad Pitt, Keneau Reeves (did I spell that right?) and a hundred gay porn stars or so.. Now that would be fun!



5 bad habits I have
I could mention smoking and all the other boring bad habits I have but I rather concentrate on the abstract...
1 - Control Queening ~Its my way or no way!

2 - Being too sensitive ~nobody loves me, nobody likes me, everybody hates me.

3 - Lazy ~to the extent I would make a sloth look like a marathon runner on speed.

4 - Like food too much ~ instead of 5 favourite junk foods I could easily fill out 500 fav junk foods.... Ummm Ice Waffles in Cophenhagen, Jawbreakers from the UK... Sardine rolls... Homemade jam tarts... OH Baby...

5 - Talks too much when I shouldnt. And when I should, I can be quiet.



5 things I like doing
1 - Ruggy and other men. I could have sex for days at end and never get bored! Maybe tired but never bored.

2 - Lazying on the beach. I can never get enough of lazing on the beach! Build a sand castle, let the waves sweep over my body, dig a whole, collect sea shells, fill up a hole, read a book.. I can keep myself entertain just being alone at the beach.

3 - Gluing things togather. I love sticking seashells, glass, bricks, metal, paper, stones, pieces of wood etc to photo frames and such. I'm not sure if I get high on the glue or just like the idea of sticky stuff...

4 - Running my finger over different textures. Hand blown glass, Flower petals, Nipples, Stone carvings, Silver dinner platters, Beach sand, Human Hair, Rabbit ears... Just to name a few

5 - Planning and then experiencing the ultimate weekend getaway, Budgeted or otherwise. Sometimes I like to get away at home. Basically I do everything hedonistically. To hell with care! To hell with everything! as long as I'm happy! Once with a bunch of friends (Winggy, MD & a goat), I enjoyed an overnight stay in PD just sipping cocktails by the icky pool & conversing!



5 things I would never wear
1 - Pink. That color is meant to be licked and not worn...
2 - Dresses. Although they may hide my child bearing hips well, it wont be pretty.
3 - Anything brightly checkered with florescent colors! Ugh!
4 - Pizza Boxes or KFC bones. I once wore a pomelo hat as a kid.
5 - Pillow covers. What Can I say I would & have tryed wearing some pretty intersting stuff... Big sparkly hoopy earings, floral print, High heels, feather boas (Disclaimer: Mostly in the comfort of my home or under the influence of alcohol, never to be repeated again)
Why I think this question would do better as 5 things I've worn but will never wear again...



5 TV shows that I like
1 - Friends (They are always hilarious)
2 - CSI (The plots may waiver but I can't get enough of Adam Rodriguez)
3 - Desperate Housewives (this one takes time to build up)
4 - The simpsons (Its been running for so long! Futurama is just as good)
5 - Absolutely Fabulous (Oh Darling, sweetie pie, honey, baby..... do mummy a isty bitsy favour won't you)



5 famous people I'd like to meet
1 - Young Brad Pitt (The older version seems more prone to fugglyness)

2 - Young Tom Cruise (The older version seems more prone to flabbyness)

3 - Bel ami porn stars. Since they do it in a collective, they should count as one.

4 - Anne Rice (I wanna have tea with her on her back poarch discussing her characters as we sip tea & let the scents of a thousand flowers envelope us! Enchanting)

5 - Dr. Mahatir. I don't want a meet & greet thinggy. I wanna have a serious conversation, preferably over a 20 course dinner about what has inspired him to be such a visionary & him as a person. (boring as it may sound, I think it be insightful)



5 biggest joys at the moment
1 - My Ruggy. No one else seems to be able to spoil my bad moods like he does.
2 - My family & friends. They for some weird reason actually seem to like my acidic personality.
3 - My music. I get depressed if I don't have my music.
4 - Blogging & getting superb comments on my blog. I think I have truly captured the kind of readers that I want.. Or so I think?
5 - Living independently, free to make many choices in life. Many of us take this for granted but not this boy.



5 favourite toys
1 - My Ruggy. He lets me play sometimes.
2 - My PC. How else would I enjoy so much pirated stuff & burn it for redistribution
3 - My jane. She is such a lady with her own bogie bag.
4 - My hot glue gun. Its so much fun hot gluing stuff...
5 - My blog. How else would I peak into the sordid details of others lives?

Now that my task has been completed, I have the pleasure of tagging other bloggers to run thru this long meme.

Iinie... Meanie... Minie.. Moe....

Shigeki ur up! And that goes for everyone else that hasn't done it yet!

Comm'on Discover yourself babes!

Come and smile, don't be shy,
Touch my bum, this is life,
We are the cheeky girls,
we are the cheeky girls,
You are the cheeky boys,
you are the cheeky boys,

Cheeky Girls ~ The Cheeky Song

Me Me (part 1)

Tagged by Mr Wingedman himself, I will do the me me the best I can & in two parts.... And as little color as I can... (so I lie)

A lifetime
Gosh! How does anyone sum up what they have learnt over their life time in a brief discription? Regardless of sexual techniques & always getting my way, the most important thing that determines how your life goes is Attitude! Always try to keep positive, but expect the worse :) Oh yeah, you can do what ever you want as long as you don't hurt anyone/entity in the process.

5 years ago
I was just entering uni where I met some awsome new characters and still had some old ones to depend on (cue Fruit Fly Queen). I was so young. So fresh. So silly but I was also in a turbulent relationship. My second ex and I want different things. I wanted an equal, he wanted be cling wrap, but I was too naive to realize anything.

1 year ago
I was think I just quit my first job and I was estatic my then 3rd ex was back to spend time with me. I missed him so so much. I loved him so so much. But he just picked up and left again. Scared for life! Nah joking... But I was really happy then.

Yesterday
I woke up, hating to go to work, went anyway, went to the gym & had dinner with my bestfriend-ex. We had Satay Batu Maung etc. Nice! Talked to Ruggy on the way home. Cleaned up and got ready for bed. Tear drops were escaping from the corners of my eyes, & I wasnt even sure why (I havent cried in a long long time)!

Tomorrow
Dinner with Ruggy! I'm over joyed the course I'm attending has been postponed and I can spend more time with his Ruggyness. (maybe I'll be getting summore!)

And even though the moment passed me by I still can't turn away

Cause all the dreams you never thought you'd lose

Got tossed along the way

And letters that you never meant to send

Get lost or thrown away
Goo Goo Dolls ~ Name

Bersambung....

The Girl Whose Name I Can't Remember- Champagne Supernova

How many special people change?
How many lives are living strange?
Where were you while we were getting high?
Slowly walking down the hall
Faster than a cannonball
Where were you while we were getting high?
Someday you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova in the sky...

...Someday you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova
A champagne supernova
'Cuz we don't believe
That they're gonna get away from the summer
But you and I will never die
The world's still spinning around we don't know why
Why-why-why-why-y-y

Oasis~ Champagne Supernova

What is a champagne supernova? Besides being a song from oasis (duh), it is how I'd like to describe the lives that have crossed paths with mine in a monumental kind of way. These people have touched my heart and will remain a part of who I am today. Its pretty much the same as Spot's people post, just with a nifty-er title (sorry spotty).

Queen of the Fruit Flies, you are one such person! But relinguish your pedestal for now and let me introduce The Girl Whose Name I Cant Remember. Seriously I can't but that doesnt mean she didnt touch me...

In these frustrating times, there is much anger and resentment between countries, races as well as religious groups. Threats... bombs... kidnappers...Fear... EVERYWHERE!

But conflict has always existed.

When I was I studying in Japan, there was much anti-American sentiment due to act of individuals on other countries. I shan't elaborate but needless to say I was angry too. I ironically hated all americans, eventhough I barely knew a few.

All this changed when I met the girl whose name I cant remember. It was like she came out of the TV. It was not in a scary "The Ring" kind of way but rather like she was adbucted from an american teen drama and beamed down into my school.

The girl whose name I can't remember had red hair (it was a flaming dye job), she has emerald green eyes, she had a petite frame. But most importantly, she was the kind of person that would leave you with a warm fuzzy feeling after you talked to her. I barely knew her for a week but in that time, she talked and talked (that girl could talk).

She talked about her school which was in Cali, she talked about her boyfriend that missed her so much because it was the 4th of july, she talked about German grandparents she couldn't communicate with but she loved so much. It was all too genuine. *warm fuzzy feeling!*

It was about then that I realized that countries, races & religious groups are all made up of people. Real individuals with real personalities, dreams, hopes, fears....

So inspired by the girl whose name I can't remember I realized ~
Hating blindly is easy to do, but is it ever the right thing to?

So I decided to try my best to always, always~
Make love, not war!
Oh yeah thats rite Uhuh! Uhuh!~ AJ is gonna get some tonite!

If only terrorists spent their time banging rather than bombing..

i at bee cho room, pls be inform after finish the discussion ,thanks

Or so that was the horrifying line I received on my office popup.
Infamous Sex God: What do you do for a living AJ?
AJ: Why I put up with really-really bad English all the time…

Even the bloody punctuation is off! But who am I to bitch? Best course of action for me is not even acknowledging it… Moments like these are really lose-lose situations.

Laugh and laugh like I would at myself, and she runs off crying. Tomorrow, her body is discovered with an unintelligible suicide note… something about “i sad vary feels, word deep AJ stab. Stab stab I dye wan, toxic drinking i!”

Try to be helpful and point out the mistake to her, and she will consider me a show-off ass-kissing-pretentious-banana-snob. (banana here signifying a chinese boy unable to speak chinese like the chinese speak chinese). Yellow on the outside, white on the inside. My only retaliation to these kind of comments is calling her an orange (lame I know but anything deeper and she wouldn’t get it).

Don’t point it out and it she will continue to send messages just like that, and if God-forbid, she doesn’t think twice & speaks like that too. That leads to others ridiculing her “ha ha u tok English badder than my chilwen” (we all love pointing out the mistakes of others) and it comes back to me for validation, or rather discrimination.

Yes, even the most imperfect bitch enjoys pointing out the mistakes of others, when that bitch herself can’t pronounce buffet. Not just for the sake of perfection but truly to satisfy the narcissist dwelling inside. The perfectionist inside all of us will do just about anything for attention. But perfectionist will do just as much to avoid drawing attention to her own faults, thus leading to paranoia. So basically a perfectionist-wanna-be is truly a narcissistic-son-of-a-bitch rolling around in his/her own paranoid-self-inflicted-shit. Was that a mouthful?

Sing With Me Boys & Girls!

You pretend you’re high
You pretend you’re bored
You pretend you’re anything
Just to be adored
And what you need
Is what you get

Garbage ~ Stupid Girl

I was a perfectionist until I realized it’s so much easier not to. On the other hand, another day, another entertaining popup.

Care be take you till cu what I write!

The Scar!

hELLO y'all!

I'm back from my home town, ready to post again. Instead of ranting on the work that piled up during my absence, I will talk about the incredible book I read.

Why? Because a fair part of it read just like a blog...

Its The Scar by China Mieville. Any guy with China as a name must have had a pretty interesting childhood, or so I assume. But this guy also has an amazing imagination..

This book begins with a linguist fleeing for her life. And she is involuntarily taken to a floating city ala Water World, only bigger and badder. Stuck there with no escape, she struggles to get away but is caught up in the schemes and plots of others, who, just like her have selfish intentions. Doesn't sound too interesting?

Well, the selling point is that the plot is set in a alternate world where the laws of science work differently. The world is powered by steam technology instead of electricity & the planet is inhabited by many species that evolved very differently, eg, pirate-cactus-people who use monkeys to trim sails, bug-headed-people who communicate through sprays of chemicals, beuracratic-vampires, super intelligent mosquito people who have anus like mouths etc. Sounds weird?

It should, considering it is in a category called weird fiction... But I digress...

From begining to end, the main character is composing a letter... A long long letter about her life, just like a blog! Her letter tends to focus on events through her own eyes, which at times are really overly dramatised (just like a blog). She also tends describe the different horrors she has to go thru that she doesn't communicate to the rest of the world (just like a blog). More importantly, the letter is more or less her only unbiased source of release, (let's say it togather ~ just like a blog)!

So blogging is really like story telling, ain't it?

So if blogging is like story telling, and I seem to do ok at blogging (or so I'm told), why do I suck at my story telling job (or so I'm told)?

This post IS a rant after all... *OH WELL* there is always tomorrow...

I’m on a high, I’m on a high
There’s nothing more to it.
We are the sea and the sky
And the blue that runs through it, yeah.

And there are some who say there are so many things I need
So I run or I fight and I crawl or I scream and I bleed
I bleed, I bleed

Well, it’s a lie it’s a lie - don’t you believe it.
If you’re fine then you’re fine - it’s all how you see it.
Oh, there never will be no conspiracy of happiness.
I’m on a high I’m on a high
And there’s nothing more to it
I have the sun, it’s a star
Why should I refuse it

And there are so many reasons I could give you why I should be down
There’s not enough money or time and my love you’re not around
Around, around

But it’s a lie it’s a lie - don’t you believe it.
If you’re fine then you’re fine - it’s all how you see it.
Oh, there never will be no conspiracy of happiness.

You’re alive you’re alive - how else could you hear me?
You are fine, you are fine - there’s nothing worth fearing
’cause there never will be no conspiracy of happiness

I’m on a high, on a high
We are the sea and the sky
I’m on a high, on a high
I’m on a high

It’s a lie, it’s a lie don’t you believe it
’cause I’ve tried and I’ve tried, and I can’t really see it
Yeah, I’m trapped inside my conspiracy of happiness
Said I was yours, you were mine but I didn’t really mean it
And I lied and I lied
And I wish you hadn’t seen it
’cause I’m trapped inside my conspiracy of happiness
I’m on a high, on a high, there’s nothing more to it, yeah.

Duncan Sheik ~ On A High

The funeral chronolog

Very dark/whiny post about funeral humour touching religion ahead. please don't continue if you have a sensitive soul. These are my unsensored thoughts.

I never imagine bloggin could possibly be have such an impact on my life. I never imagine blogging to do what it does best untill my last post where I actually intended to write a "people post" as Spot calls it, but instead I wrote an eulogy. Truly, I'm slightly freaked out that as I was busily blogging away, my ah kong slipped away. Not that it was not expected but truly it is too sudden. Too sudden that he left us. Too sudden that I realize he isn't coming back. I could have asked them to put him on a respirator till I got home but hasn't ah kong suffered enough? the indignity? the physical pain? the mental anguish?

No. He was an impatient one. Always two steps ahead. Better he be allowed to go peacefully rather than like my amma, hooked up to the respirator. Her last breath assisted. It must have killed my father inside to have to pull the pull on his own mother.

I expected great dramas with in my family as is the nature of many families to squabble over things like money, jewelry, property, you know, the stuff that brings both pain and happiness. The last funeral, they were almost tore each others' jugular veins out and served it for dinner. Very bad table manners. Very strange customs indeed. But they must have mellowed in the last 2 years or so. Perfect little angels. Well, as perfect as much as each of their characters would allow. Some stil needy. Some attention seeking. Some tearing buckets. Some micromanaging. Some trying to lead, unsuccessfully. But all being tollerant, understanding and respectful.

The one true time when I lost my temper. Was the same as the last funeral. When preist/pasteur/father/whateverm'crap did the service.

Mr C was a very good man.
Mr C was highly respected.
But when Mr C joined the faith, everyone didn't believe it.
Everyone called him crazy (i blamed it on well timed propaganda).
Everyone laughed at him (i found it a most serious matter).
But look at him now...
He is now in a better place.
A place of wonder and tranquility.
He is by God's side.
You too can enjoy this better place.
You too can enjoy this place of wonder and tranquility.
You too can be by God's side.
Is there anyone amongst YOU non-believers out there that are willing to follow Mr. C's footsteps? (We were mostly too disgusted by the use of the service to promote, well, his services)
Rise now You who shall be saved and enjoy the promised land!
Rise now! (either the crowd was too disgusted or they were too respectful of Mr. C. They refused to budge).

On the second day, during the mandarin service:~
"Why do we let this man that barely knew our grand father say things that werent true?" asked sue my 23 year old cousin.

"Well sue, he has lots of experience with funerals. And that was ah kong's choice, like it or not. He may not have been of sound mind when he made that choice, but he made that choice. Lets try to respected it." I replied.

Pissed off I was. But I had to calm my sister. I had to be good for the cousins that I somewhat influenced. So I kept my piece for the sake of peace. But today (burrial day) he had to do his rounds. He had to build his relationships. He had to build his network. I was fuming as he shook my hand and said,

Father Tok too much ~ say isn't this the son that is a XXX?
AJ ~ *Look at him* No, But I am in the same line as you. I'm in direct sales. I speak of many empty promises just like you. Just like you.
AJ's father~ (tries to saves the family from hell) And this is my daughter...
Father Tok too much ~ Oh and what work do you do?
AJ's sister ~ I'm a con artist.
AJ ~ Thats right, same line as you father. Same as you.
AJ's Father ~ Oh my sorry about my son. He is such a joker.
AJ ~ If you cant joke about someone that comes to a funeral to recruit new minions who can you joke about?

*We all share and uncomfortable laugh*
I did apologise later to my my father. Because unlike the priest I do respect my father. I respect my beliefs. I respect myself.

All in all the rest of the funeral when as expected. Once last time, we went for a ride. Before the prosession began, for the very last time, I said out loud "Kia, Ah Kong" (let's go, grandpa). It was the last journey we may ever take togather again. Ever. The heavens wept as he went into the earth. As three generations that he help raised said goodbye.

The mud from the graveyard still clings on my slippers, as I write this.

Buang yang keruh, ambil yang jernih
(malay proverb ~ throw the tainted,keep the pristine)

Let the good memories stay, and bad ones fade away.

That grumpy old man

By the time I was born, my ah kong (grandfather on father's side) was already 70. And growing up with him was scary to say the least. Now at 25, I'll try to analyze our love-hate relationship....

Love-hate? Sometimes I couldnt help but love him for buying fire crackers or taking us out for KFC. Simultaneously, its hard to forget being tied to a tree for refusing to pick up leaves or being forced to eat fried kuey teow (flat rice noodles) 2 times everyday for 2 weeks just becaused he liked it.

Although he was never the first one to offer words of advice during a time of crisis, he was always ever willing to empty his wallet to resolve the problem. AJ needed a new pc? No problem. AJ wants to go Japan? Here is some pocket money. Need a car you say? Don't worry...

He wasn't the most agreeable person, but all of us (all the grand children) were thought to respect and put up with his whims and desires. And rightfully too. After all the shit he went through to bring up his family of 11 children, he is allowed to be cranky and mean sometimes.

He started life as most immigrants to Malaysia, a penniless cook on a merchant ship. Upon reaching Malaysia, he had a stroke of luck, i.e. someone gave him a pile of scrap metal. He sold the scrap and started trading in pork, rice and anything the masses would buy. Slowly but surely he climbed to the top and made his fortune. But he never stepped on anyones toes and always helped anyone who needed help. Despite his foul temper (almost as bad as mine), he always was ready to help any of his friends.

But being the oldest man in a small town is no fun. Trust me, all the years I have spent taking care of him, bringing him out to dinner, bringing him for rides, avoiding bringing him out for lunch, bringing him for haircuts, I learnt how misserable it can be to be truely old. On bad days he would whine, scream and even resort to physical abuse. On good days he would tell me stories of the past, how he took my amma (grandmother) down to town on the back of his bicycle, how he sailed to thailand to get rice for the family (and made a quick buck) and even advice on children.

He told me not to have too many children. When asked why he had so many children, he plainly told me that there just wasn't any contraceptives. (LOL)

Shrewd, manipulative & foreward thinking.

Thats my ah kong, the grumpy old man that screams at everyone. The story must end here for now, because you see, he just passed away and I must return to take care of the living. He would want that.

Anything I wanted to say to him before he went away?
Not a word. It was all said before.

Live and learn

Well the years they flew

And we never knew

We were foolish then

We would never tire

And that little fire

Is still alive in me

It will never go away

Can’t say goodbye to yesterday

[can’t say goodbye]

Madonna ~ This Used To Be My Playground

I'll show you mine, if you show me yours...

Playing games as a children were fun. As adults some of us refuse to give up our childhood tricks and continue to persue our favourite games, only in "ADULT" situations. No, it wasn't my intention to misslead you to think of "I'll suck yours, if you suck mine..." or any perverted version of "police and thief"... (My version involves lots of interagating with a big stick)

Last weekend, I returned to my hometown, for my father's birthday and had to play the classic game of 20 questions too too many times. This game entails some asking you the same old questions~
Where are you working now?
Where is your girl friend?
What kind of work are you doing now?
When are you getting married?
Spend all your time partying issit?

Over & over again..... But the adult version of 20 questions (for me) includes trying to tell the other party that I don't want to be bothered by pleasantries/small talk and rather be left to enjoy my JD coke, ciggie or whatever else they interupted. Lets examine the proper answers to these damn annoying questions:~

Where are you working now?
K.L. Don't you want another drink? I'm thirsty.. *leave the room never to return again.*

Where is your girl friend?
Which one? Ha ha ha? Rolls Eyes~ Oh look its ol wassitsname ~ SOooOOorRy really got to run, catch up with you later... *Run AJ, Run!!*

What kind of work are you doing now?
*puff puff puff* Its a small small company. *exhale* You wouldn't know it... (Before the next question comes out) Is that you mummy? Proceed to enjoy ciggie without annoying twittering.

When are you getting married?
Married? Ha Ha Ha.. I'm too busy screwing my life up to think of marryin anyone? How about you.... *Grab pocket* Oh Shit Someone is calling this is important... Move to Africa.

Spend all your time partying issit?
I'm too busy to party... Be right back (in my heart: I rather not spend my precious time explaining how I'm bored with grinding my crotch against the crotches of other men) Oh *Shit* *Fuck* I just realized I didnt lock my car.... *Run* Never return again. EVER!

SO I LIKE RUNNING! Or rather I hate being bored stupid by the same ol questions. But play the game well and I can win fantastic prizes. Only give attention/time to those who ask reasonable questions (or have the stuff I can use. I'm not a user, it makes them feel good to help a poor stuggling writer! In fact, if you feel the same, send donations! Even Vikings would be amazed at my pillaging abilities:-

7 cases of assorted can drinks (from Coke to Carrot Apple)
6 giant bags of tropical fruits (guavas, rabutans, starfruits, mangosteens, pulasans, cikus etc for bribing)
1 big bag containing a generous portion of currypuffs & sardine rolls (dinner & breakfast from an aunt, bless her soul)
1 bottle of JD (Jack is an ol' friend of mine)
1 bottle of Blue Billy Goat Red Wine (I do have a soft spot for whiney billy goats) ++ assorted snacks, books & mags...

My brother on the other hand made off with
A dozen frozen fish (I don't do fish),
Assorted garden plants (not worth the hassle)
& a bag of chicken dung (AJ, will this smell bad? *Of course not bro* after all its ONLY chicken dung, *sniff sniff* :oD)

The fun part comes when my nosy neighbour, upon seeing me return with all this stuff carefully balanced on my stolen shopping cart, gives me that "Waaah! SO much stuff!! "

"Yalor, Dun you know? Its the Great Malaysian Sale!'
(Its like spoofing that really bad Mega Sale add, only her jaw hangs lower as I walk pass)

Freedom to us has always been a trick

Freedom to you has always been who ever landed on your dick

Seen it in you one too many times

Said you might trick me once

I won't let you trick me twice, no...

Kelis ~Trick Me

Whats The Frequency Kenneth?

Talking about the CD's I'm currently listening to has sort of invigorated me to post about my current TOP 10 CDs and why they are the best. Who knows? Years from now I might find them utter rubbish!

And here they are in no particular order~

Alanis Morissette ~ Jagged Lil Pill
This amazing album is so full of angst and great for venting post relationship anger. Almost everyone can related to poor flustered Mz Morissette's songs.

Cranberries ~ No Need To Argue
Delores and the rest are superb musicians but nothing beats this album in terms of content. Ravel in the transition of the Daffodill Lament! Feel the energy of Zombie! Wallow in the sadness of No Need To Argue. (Do I sound like a cheap promo? Yes I have been working too hard lately.)

Madonna ~ Ray of Light
This is one CD full of energy. Full of memories too. Japan... Sex... I must have had sex atleast a million times to this one.

Madonna ~ Bedtime Stories
Love singing along to this one. Something about the lyrics that brings out the queen in me.

Kylie Minogue ~ Fever
Almost perfect album. It really symbolized the pinacle of her rebirth career. Who hasn't lip sync-ed to "It was love~ It was love~ It was llooove ~ At first sight?"

Lisa Loeb & The 9 Stories ~ Tails
This one is suited for my personal taste. The lyrics are so preplexing (your skin smells like sandal wood) & the tunes are like they are being sung in a college bar or some cosy place. When I listen to this one, I'm transported to another dimension, say the dorms of some seedy college?

Garbage ~ Beautiful Garbage
Shirley Manson is really amazing! The way she harmonizes her voice with the rest of the instruments to envoke feelings of joy, sorrow, anger, lust is just sureal! WHY CAN"T I SING LIKE THAT?

Looks like I'm a lil short of songs after all... What you guys like to listen to?

Boys in white drawers with blue satin sashes,

snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes,

silver white winters that melt into springs,

these are a few of my favorite things....

Sound Of Music ~ My Favourite Things (edited)

Burry My Hatchet.

These are the Original CDs in my CD case. The problem is I make many of my own compilations, down load off the net, burn from others etc... So It may not be an accurate representation of what I listen to? Just enjoy the sneek peak ok?

Texas ~ Say What You Want Single (This song always makes me cry)

Sophie Ellis Baxtor - Murder On The Dance Floor (Birthday present from Abu)

Bjork ~ Vespertine (she has better albums.)

Alanis Morissette ~ Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie (Not to bad, not that great either)

Madonna ~ Evita Soundtrack (bought over from Abu)

Chill Out in Ibiza (Ruggy's, enuff said)

Ricky Martin with Christina Aguilera ~ Nobody Wants to be Lonely (freebee had 6 of this CD and just gave another 2 my graphic designer)

Mariah Carey ~ Butterfly (Breakdown was amazing)

Smashing Pumpkins ~ Adore (Accidentally stolen from Japanese family)

Madonna ~ Bedtime Stories ( Very sexy songs)

Roxxette ~ Greatest Hits (Always a favourite)

Green Day ~ Nimrod (Bought/rescued this from a cousin)

Kylie Minogue ~ Body Language (chill out music)

Madonna ~ Something to Remember (for remembering old times)

Mariah Carey ~ Day Dream (one of her best before the slutty years)

The Cranberries ~ No Need To Argue (Superb to the very last song! It ranks among My All Time top 10!)

Kylie Minogue ~ Light Years (Won this one from a radio station)

Austin Powers 2 Sound Track (Madonna's Beautiful Stranger is here)

Grammy Nominees 1997 (very smooth)

Grammy Nominees 1999 (last commercial compilation I bought)

The Cranberries ~ Burry The Hatchet (Great album, nothing less from the cranberries)

Madonna ~ Music (Didn't you love Maddy as a cowboy?)

The Corrs ~ Borrowed Heaven (very calming soothing & relaxing)

Lisa Loeb & The Nine Stories ~ Tails (absolutely amazing but noone else shares my passion for this one :( not a single person! If you do or know of someone who does, please let me know!)

So that is ablum no 1... there is even a pirated version of M2M (no judgement ok!) and all Sarah Mclahlan's ablums in mp3... Cool huh?

How about me not blaming you for everything?

Thank you India

Thank you providence

Thank you disillusionment

Thank you nothingness

Thank you clarity

Thank you thank you silence

Thank You ~ Alanis Morrisette

Queen of the Fruit Flies

Or so that was her title one upon a time... But the history of oneD and me goes back way before that.

Sure enough tho, when I was 18 & first saw her, it was magical. It reminded me of an add... There she was, this beautiful bright eyed girl, head held up high, walking out of the college gates with the wind blowing through her long silky hair. I swear everyone paused as if to say "whats the secret to her confidence?"... (must be an absorbant sanitary pad)

But it was no secret that she was cold. She rarely talked to anyone outside her cliche and sometimes she had the snobbiest face on. She had every right to be. Cute boy friends, lots of cash, her own car etc.... it was like another teen movie....

But that all changed once I got to know her. It was my first bf that drew our paths togather. We started having lunch togather. The more I got to know about this girl, the more it amazed me how wrong my perception of her was. She was truly nice. She was genuine. She was real. She was incredibly smart. She could remember facts like noone else I knew. Not some porcelain doll too fragile to handle.

Our friendship grew & grew. Soon we were at the clubs dancing on the podiums doing the Podium Battle, the dance of the time. This dance involves a large group of people conquering as many podiums as they can and sort of having a dance-off-cat-calling competition. The prize? ~ Attention of the crowd. Lewd hand gestures & close body movement was always welcomed.

I began to learn more about her. Sure she had all the luxuries in life, but did she ever take anything for granted? Never. She worked as hard as the rest of us to keep her grades up. Never mean. Never vile.

One weekend, this dumbass named Nuj crashed oneD's car. It was bad. The repairs were expensive and without going into the details, it was messy. Nuj accused oneD of being drunk, scolded her mother & refused to pay. When his parents finally came up with the cash to pay for the damage, he spent it all on clothes. Most of our group hated his guts and refused to talk to him. But oneD out of the goodness of her heart actually talked to him like nothing had happened.

When I asked her about it all, she simply said "I can't help it, he looks so pitiful and noone is talking to him.."
I blurted out "thats because he has been such a bastard to you!"
oneD replied "but still..."

She was really kind hearted and sincere. And so she has remained for all these years... One joke that never ceasts to amaze me is that no matter how often I say it, she will react when I say "oneD, your hair is messy!" Imediately she would stroke it like a siamese cat licking its fur.

We stayed friends and studied in the same uni and took the same course. We spent more time togather and it really was fun. After a few years, she won a title in a beauty pageant and although most people would be high and mighty, we could still coax her into counting fruitflies (hence the title). Anyone one who has ever done lab genetics can tell you counting fruit flies is not fun. But she would do it for us (or was it for our lab reports?)

Lots of things began to change. She began appearing on the radio, she was modelling, acting etc. We saw less and less of her. But she still remained the same upbeat messy haired fruit fly queen in our hearts. She even became a supporting actress in several local sitcoms & appeared in adds. Still she would make time to spend with us.

She is also one of the few people I have come out to. We have shared secrets & jokes. I have even let her into my blogging life. Nowadays she can be found flying the friendly skies asking the eternal question "coffee or tea?"

I can't wait for her to return to my life, even for a heartbeat. I can't wait for her sincerity to inspire me. We have been friends for too long... has it been 6 years oneD? When will you pull the emergency stop button, float down from the heavens like the angel you are, bearing gifts of tobacco & booze?

lol. I love you & miss you!

We’ll sail the waters of many colours

We won’t need a compass, love will guide our way

Don’t need nobody, as long as we got each other

No need to hurry, we’ve got everyday

I wanna share the world with you, you see

Spring time in paris feels so good to me

Oh this is for me reality

So please make all my wishes come true

Janet Jackson ~ Runaway

The Day The Music Died

My muses have left me today and I haven't the foggiest idea what to blog about today. If I post another Ruggy (tho we had a magical moment last nite), I'm sure to be flamed by the queen of flaming bitches MD. If I write about my depressing encounter with my mother yesterday, I could further depress myself.

Its been a totally *Blah* day today and I can't wait for it to be over.
Breakfast was Blah ~ Hi fibre biscuits & milo
Jane at Work is Blah ~ Just Piles On and On
Friends calls werent Blah ~ But couldnt entertain due to work so Blah again

On the other hand, Jay was amusing
~would to see his creativity in bed, I can just imagine myself bildfolded and chuckling away whiles he entertained.

Shigeki was adorable as usual
~he is so in love with everything -beer, food, men & life! I wish I could spend a week in his pocket just enjoying life from his amazing point of view. Could I ever blog as sincerely as he does? I doubt it...

Ed did me good
~arabian at the busstop? lol makes me think of all the salah (wrong) guys I almost ran away from... "Aiyoo young boy ah.. your skin so fair and soft, like my taufufa.... You want to try?"

Wil made me smile
~a smile is always good, even on toothy dragqueens. Why do they smile so fakely? I mean does it add to the image or is it because all those layers of makeup impair their ability to work their facial muscles?

Aimee & Angie always provides diversity
~I like the idea of peaking into different lives. Being able to see a situation from another's point of view is amazing. That being said sometimes its better not to know so much too much info. Curiosity killed the cat... but do I want to be so fat?

Paul blogged wisely/unwisely as usual
~makes me think of a certain rambutan-curry-cooking ex that was so disgruntled at one of my post that he refuses to ever read my blog again. But its all good.. as long as I remember not to bend over for either of them...

Spot's spot was inspirational
~ made me want to blog some of my old friends. Crossing cultures I do well. Cos no matter where I go, I rarely fit in...

Thats todays frantic post boys & girls. Please insert lyrics yourselves cos I'm too tired to do it myself.... *yawn*

I wanna blog about it!

Or so that was one line that kept disturbing my thought patterns this weekend. I had one of the best weekends I have had in a long time, and I am proud to say, I resisted the urge to blog about it. Friday & Saturday I was with Ruggy and we made the full use of the bed, sofa & other furniture, whiles listening to our favourite music. I'm more inclined to alt-roc whiles he is a trans boy. All we really needed to enjoy the weekend was a beat to hump to!

But his car had to be serviced, amongst other chores to be done. As expected there were uncomfortable silences & loud distractions... One trans song that I couldnt get out of my head because he repeated the lyrics tyranically for 1 hour goes something like ~

stranded in paradise, lost without you...

AJ tell me you LOVE this song, don't you! don't you? don't you? He was annoying me, successfully.

After we picked up his car from services we discovered the A/C wasn't cool and we had to turn back, hot & sweaty in the afternoon heat. They had to look for the problem and we had to wait by the side of the road. Sensing his frustration surfacing... I mentioned the irony of the situation. "You do realise we ARE stranded in paradise, & I'd BE lost without you?"

Before you go AaawW... Understand we were in Setapak, one of KL's slowly developing backwater slums that I'm not familiar with.

"So this is paradise?" He said somewhat pissily...

AJ- Yeah! Look palm trees! (the lone bent dying coconut tree was yellow & black from the city smog)

Catching on Ruggy in turn - Well it is sunny, windy and full of ambience (His way of refering to the blistering hot sun, searing hot wind & noise from the traffic)

AJ - Chuckles... Its so easily accesible... And look cultural heritige!

(I point to the run down busstop & the top of a small flourescent buddhist temple)

Back and forth that is how we spent our hour or so... Bitches in denial stuck with nothing to entertain ourselves, except promoting Setapak to each other. Sure it was annoying as hell but we survived it without being raped, murdered or mugged. Now that I have blogged about it, how do I get the damn bloody line out of my head?

Stranded in paradise, Lost without you…

Stranded in paradise, Lost without you…

Stranded in paradise, Lost without you…

Stranded in paradise, Lost without you…

Unknown Trans Track Currently Stuck in My Head

Wuggy like the damn song i wuv u.